Pilko

the spawn of Kevin Kilbane and Brian Kilcline, presumably.

If Sessegnon is sold then they are truly up shit creek without a paddle. It could be the equivalent of us selling Milner before we went down - the symbolism of the sale and the departure from ambition, as opposed to Milner being our best/key player.

I think we'll see him off the bench. Depending on the score it might just be a token debut ala Carroll in Palermo or an actual 20 minutes etc.

Potentially a Giggsy but just realised that former Liverpool Hillsborough smirker Charles Cackhandje plays for these. He's shit, better shoot lots.

Wonder if we'll try the 4-3-3 with Cisse at the focal point? Harper/Krul Tavernier Perch Williamson R.Taylor Jonas/Amalfitano Anita Gosling Marveaux Cisse Obertan Subs: Harper/Krul, Bigirimana, Abeid, Campbell, Simpson, Jonas/Amalfitano, Good

Can see it now: O'Neill pays £10m for McGeady on deadline day. Can't wait to quote this in a week or so.

Have an app-le.

I wish we had ballboys as efficient and quick as these Helsingborg ones for when we're getting beat at home

2-0 Celtic.

Surely players would much rather deal with a smooth-talking, handsome, metrosexual fella like Pards than talk to a little shrunken, mumbling troll like O'Neill?

Been like that for years. I know a fair few people who buy two and use them as pocket warmers in the winter. Much cheaper just to get two Greggs pasties before you go to the ground, though. And less chance of a mouth injury.

Gameweek 2: 1) 2-0 2) 2-1 3) 3-0 4) 1-1 5) 0-0 6) 1-0 7) 2-1 8) 1-1 9) 0-2 10) 1-3

"Giroud miss vs Sunderland 18-08-12" into you are a tube Turns out the reaction from Wenger was actually straight after the miss, about 15 seconds in you can see the bit I'm on about.

You'll either be mugged or not appreciated.

Aye, fair enough. Do you not agree that it looks like he says it, though?

How on earth can you pay over the odds and get value for money? Stupid Irish twat.

Did anyone else notice that on MOTD, when Giroud missed that late chance for Arsenal, that Wenger seemed to say "van Persie would have got it" or something? He definitely says "van Persie...(something)" if you watch his lips carefully.

Like it fucking matters if the incident was more widely seen or not ffs. It's like saying if Barton had done everything he did at the Etihad in the tunnel away from the cameras/crowd he'd have only deserved a few games ban.

If we're the goldfish bowl, the mackems are the little plastic bag, after you manage to knock a pyramid of tin cans off a shelf with a little ball.

I've seen milk turn faster than Dawson ffs. Will never forget the occasions when Martins absolutely ripped him to pieces.

Barry took one of the worst ones I've ever seen, at SJP when Souness was manager. Skied it well over the bar like a prat and probably kept Souey in a job for a few weeks longer.

Surely that can actually help?, as the manager has a better view of the match and don't some managers spend the first half up in the stands anyway, I think I remember Souness doing it. Fat twat always used to be upstairs for the first half. He had to come down after about 20 minutes in that dismal Portsmouth defeat at home, he walked right past where I was sat. All the corporates were screaming at him, "aye get down and sort it out you fucking fat cunt" and that.

I watched him miss the deciding pen in the Masters shootout for Boro the other year. Sliced it onto the post like a buffoon.