Pilko

You can see where Clatt's had his highland jig sewn on.

You'd think for someone who can slay an Orc with a bow and arrow at a hundred paces, that Orlando would be able to read from a fucking autocue.

Murray eating those oranges

Al Murray, now there's a comedian who is a bit good. LOUISE

He's making a living out of being a fat jolly bloke. He's not even fucking funny, he's just a cunt who thinks he's better than he is.

best goal of his career in the biggest game of his career

Aye, they have to include at least two fat cunts - Allardyce being the other.

That bloke in the red top filming Corden on his phone ffs

Who's he supposed to be? He's just told you.

Shearer nearly.

Wish Lehmann would nut someone

Shearer

Amazing chip from Zidane.

We could do a lot worse than getting Olly Murs in on our budget...

Hope they play Austin Powers if Mike Myers scores.

the fact cunt knows nowt about football, other than pies.

Jonathan Wilkes who is famous for being Robbie Williams mate. Essentially a less podgy Jimmy Five Bellies.

What would you think of him (mainly) in the role of impact sub next season? I think there's plenty for him to exploit in the final 20 minutes of a game, particularly against some of the dross at the bottom.

As I proved on the previous page, Lovenkrands record when he played upfront for us in a shit team was between 1 in 2 and 1 in 3. Although I think he'd struggle to sustain it quite as much, I think he'd get 8-10 goals in the premier league.

Mikel isn't good at all, can't believe no-one has noticed yet. A truly average player, a passenger in Chelsea's side.

The metro radio guy ffs.

I'd love us to have JC back.

I think a more appropriate comment would be "good header of the ball for someone of his stature".

I went to all that trouble as well, nightmare. This season he made maybe 5 or 6 apperances tops on the left flank.