Ketsbaia

When I'm on the loo tonight, I'll remember how good we were today.

That pass from Jorginho was obscene

Doing ok, apart from having Sterling ©, De Bruyne and Aguero That went badly but Lundstram and Alexander-Arnold delivered, would've been even better if unfit Cantwell wasn't thrown on with 5 mins to go - Rico clean sheet left on the bench!

My plan is to sit around and not watch these pricks

Can't wait to see them turn FPP into an anti-Mag catchphrase EDIT: Fuck the Pony Punchers.

5-5, man. Bruce's head must be exploding at such attacking play. This match has about 7 months worth of NUFC goals.

Hayden S Longstaff Almiron ASM Joelinton Gayle/New striker

They won't scrap it but the noise to alter it is already deafening - all the fans, pundits, players.

Points are similar and performances are just as dull but with Rafa there was at least a belief that it could get better one day. This is Bruce's ceiling.

I don't even have a pulse on matchdays anymore. There's just nothing likeable - I hate the owner, don't like the manager, not bothered about most of the players, even half of the fanbase are knackers. The stadium is dirty and decked out in cheap SD shite, the kits are shit, we get these monthly takeover stories that even the journalists don't believe and protests are always half-arsed because there's some weird North East pride in just willingly taking shit with a smile and a Stevie Taylor fistpump. There's nothing to cheer for, nothing to care about and no hope for the future. The only recognisable feature that makes the heart flutter is the name Newcastle United. That's it. Cheers, Ashley.

Carroll, Cisse..... let's get Marlon Harewood in too.

Aguero, Sterling, Rashford and Salah all have a higher xG than Newcastle (5.75) [understat]

Improved on last season's defeat, marra.

I really like Almiron and really, really want him to succeed but it just isn't happening. That missed one-on-one, the counter-attack where he fucked up the pass.... so frustrating, unfortunately.

BEWWWSbury, more like.

De Bruyne loses his goal, then Callum Wilson blanks again. Rico on the bench. Another red arrow coming.

Pep benches Aguero AGAIN. Yet he (could) have Southampton (H) next week. Removing him the next morning will be like Christmas Day. Pep is such a twat, honestly.

Well tonight will go down a huge, all-time regret. 20pts for Vardy, man. Gutted.

Hate not having Vardy. I bet bloody Soyuncu still concedes!

Brought in De Bruyne for Salah for a brief triple-up on Man City. Tough to pick a captain though.... Aguero? Sterling?

Can only have two of Salah, Sterling and De Bruyne and it's difficult to call when Guardiola is such a dickhead.

They're rarely win by more than one so Tranmere must be bloody awful.

I'd love a Hickey, personally.

John Lundstram continues to be a mega-god

Evra is having the time of his life