Ketsbaia

Calling themselves Rich Energy when it's 29p at Poundstretcher

Feels like these energy drinks are as mythical as Henry Mauriss. I'm sure Luke Edwards will be posing with a can of it this afternoon.

Just need the government to interfere, so the PL don't get sued yet can deflect the blame for their Qatari pals. If we focus on the city investment, Ashley 'saving the high street' with £300m and get the Reubens to have a word with their high-up pals..... maybe it'll get them involved?

No way is thie guy real. He's just like Haddaway Tyler, except he's not chasing down Masters.

Ashley? Hmm ok. More hateable footballer?

Can't think of anyone more hateable in football than Neymar.

So cruel, man. Haven't been this gutted about a goal in ages. PSG pricks.

Ahhhh shit

Neymar, Mbappe and Icardi up front, yet a shower of dross everywhere else. Draxler, Sarabia, Sergio Rico, Paredes, Choupo-Moting, Kehrer etc.

The PL are caught between pissing off clubs/Qatar and yet not having a reason to reject. Maybe they actually want government interference, in order to pass the blame onto them? Sorry Liverpool, sorry Spurs, sorry gorilla mitts but they told us to accept it.

Woooop

Really excited for this one. That miss by Neymar though!

Not sure if anyone has been paying attention, but the FPL winner has been disqualified for a racist comment made against Sterling in a private chat. Someone grassed him up and they've taken the title away from him. Obviously he's done a bad thing and should be punished in public for this..... although I didn't think they'd say he didn't win.

Haddaway Tyler is on the case as we speak, probably.

Just have to hope that we can scrape another season with this lot. Buy a striker, a few loans and Jeff Hendrick.

Better than Bentaleb and M Longstaff, let's just hope he's not our marquee signing

Personally dealing with it, you say? Oh perfect. Nothing to fear I'm confused though, I thought journalistic god and overall good guy Luke Edwards said Ashley didn't want PIF because of that totally real but un-googlable media mogul.

Hope Sancho stays. I really don't want to dislike him. Plus, lets be honest, he can do better than Man Utd.

Feels like a three-legged race

He calls himself a 'fun loving geordie' so he seems legit.

It does feel incredibly odd being on the same side as Ashley. Sticking with the wrestling theme, it's like those awkward tag teams who don't get along but somehow still have the belts. Is the world ready for such mega powers teaming up?

If PIF persist with this bid, it'll be fascinating to see what breaks the deadlock. PL know they can't legally reject it, otherwise they already would have. But they don't want to piss off Qatar and the PL adult table. One of them has to happen.

Kane definitely has to be sold here

I'd be shocked if there was a genuine reveal here

And? He fouled the player, it's 100% a pen. I'm the only one who thinks he didn't.