Doctor Zaius

My biggest worry now is a striker. Wilson hasnt looked all that sharp in pre season. 30 year old and half of last season out. Maybe its one injury too far?

Really dont want to see any of Chris Wood this season like. So shit.

Free header, straight at the keeper

Enjoying this commentary tbf

Great little finish there tonight

Lascelles is awful like

Sick and tired of that fucking bald cunt like

Has to produce the goods though. If he's shite then he may well not get another PL contract.

Fair play Lingard taking a one year deal like.

Ashworth is there isn't he? None of that front 3 are good enough to be starting games like.

Must be class being a footballer like

also the "cant say nuffink these days" and PC brigade craic is woeful. You can say what you want but you're gonna get called out if you're being daft.

Absolutely fair play to him and his agent ending up at PSG. A way more attractive option than us right now, especially to a 19 year old French lad. He'd have probably got less opportunity to play here. PSG have more games to play and can afford to rest their first 11 given they'll walk the league. No hard feelings at all from me. Its just the way it goes.

Seems slightly far fetched by Diaby and Broja on loan would be class like. Think Chelsea would want Broja as a guranteed starter but if we could get him, we'd really have room to manoeuvre. Diaby probably too expensive. Would have hoped for a bit more than another 40m to spend. You're not getting a right sided forward and a half decent striker for 40m combined like. Not in this market. May have to be one or the other, but that leaves us a bit short in my book. Ideally we dont want any of Murphy, Almiron, Wood or even Fraser starting as first choice like.

Bentaleb. Forgot about him. Utterly shite like. Worse than Hendrick, if only just.

Turns out he played half an hour with Spurs. Only in qualifying round v Partizan with us though. Technically that's another one then.

Nah City weren't in the CL then. Milner never played CL with us, Woodgate never with Spurs.

Aye, Batty

Sherringham only one club in the CL, Becks only had one English club.

If Sterling joins Chelsea, he'll play in the CL with three different English clubs. Name the only other Englishman to do so. (Disclaimer: there may be more, I've 'made up' this question myself and I can only think of one)

Thought Reguilon was decent? Others have been shite like.

I'm a fully converted Adam P fan now like. It's come a full circle. A Joelinton like redemption arc for him. It's all so cringe that it's funny, or at least not rage inducing. Partridge-esque. Fair play to him.

A team called Bruno's Magpies are currently 2-1 in the ECL qualification round

Think both Fulham and Bournemouth will stay up personally.

Very good fee that like. Think that's a great deal.