ChrisMcQuillan

Awful refereeing there.

*Best checks his eye* Co-commentator: "Just checking his teeth are okay there"

Raylor almost scores.

CABAYE you sexy motherfucker.

GREAT play by Obertan.

Best & Lovenkrands offside at the same time

Ryan Taylor wonderskill.

That's what happens when you sell your soul (quite literally).

I actually quite like this co-commentator. He's more insightful than Ray fucking Wilkins anyway.

Martin Jol is becoming more and more like Father Jack.

Corner Fulham.

Best and Lovenkrands are like Sunday League standard.

He's right through lol

0-2 (Duff, Hughes)

Would be our second most expensive signing under Ashley's reign if it had been a player.

He spoke on that Beyewatch thing a few years ago. Sounded pretty normal, sadly.

Commentary is a pile of Scouse wank.

Must be nice supporting a club that buy people. Carroll coming on now. Not sure why I put the Liverpool game on, tbh.

Is kind of depressing, yeah. People accuse us at United For Newcastle at being too depressing. I think we'd been a little cheerier if the facts were less grim, like.

You know, I fucking hate Newcastle sometimes. Enrique smiling and happy in a Liverpool shirt. Carroll sitting on their bench. Barton sitting watching QPR. Nolan wandering around for West Ham. We're sitting translating shit, conflicting French articles about how we won't pay money. I'm really getting fed up with all this bollocks.

Enrique bossing it.

Pretty sure he's not going to sign.

Trying so hard to be Man Utd with a defensive line of: Bardsley Brown Ferdinand O'Shea

The most we've ever paid for a striker under Ashley was the £5.7m on Xisco. Yeah, but he's not here. Which means Best's our most expensive striker at £1.5m. #europeancontenders?