Neil

Fantastic free kick, that.

Torres is a little boy, apparently.

I enjoy McCarthy as co-commentator. You're unsure whether to take him seriously, he comes out with some cracking stuff though. "That goalie there is a tart... am I allowed to say that?"

No, we're not screwed at all. Rooney will get both in a 2-0... except in the 92nd minute, Heskey will fall over and bundle it into the net.

Hey man, some lovely passes and goals when its 5 or 7 a side! No chance of replicating it for 11 a side.

It's alright, it's early on so it doesn't matter.

Year 6 Cup Final when I scored from an impossible angle into our own goal to round off a humiliating 4-1 home defeat. I was a broken 11 year old.

For 5/7 a side purposes, the passing of Xavi and the shot of Lampard - unfortunately I'm not at all fit, shit at tackling/heading, and 9 out of 10 shots for an 11 a side game see the ball scale new heights towards the clouds.

That vuvuzela song.

Err, but didn't you see how they thrashed defensively inept 10-man Australia?

The French exposed for the heap of shit they are and the Germans given a dose of misfortune, this is going too well...

Woeful.

It's alright. Carragher's experienced!

Anyone see that stat on SSN about how England and Rooney's 'minutes per goal' are both better when Rooney is playing with Crouch, and not Heskey?

The one your lot conceded was hardly Brazil 1970 esque. ;-) Switzerland's was what I call a 'FIFA goal'. Ridiculously fortunate, the crowning moment being Deyrediyidoriydriok flying through the air and the ball bouncing off him to the other lad.

I bet BBC can't believe their luck this shitheap on paper has turned out exciting.

Your lack of confidence is amusing Sound like Darth Vader. Your pessimism displeases me, oldtype.

oldtype, you need to calm the fuck down. You're making it sound like a game against the world-dominating force of Nigeria is a write-off.

Poor lad.

Whoever said Greek football should be euthanised made me spit my drink out.

ITV are offering some of the build-up time to the 2 teams actually playing!?

8.

But at the same time, Argentina weren't exactly at their best were they? I'd expect another single-goal Argie win.

You won't have to wait long for Jermaine to knock a couple past you.

I think you'll take them, which will make it very interesting to watch you against Japan after that. Assuming Holland beat Japan, even a draw wouldn't be disastrous for Denmark. I'd fancy them over Japan most days of the week.