The Prophet

It would be quite good if he was just a wum, the pathetic thing is I honestly think he does want these endless arguments again and again. Maybe doesn't get the attention he really wants at home so has to comfort himself online. Should entertain himself with some cyber sex: "Want a man who can persist for four hours with two trophy brides and is three times the length of your current bloke."

It's amazing how NE5 has established himself in such a position that he only needs to type a couple of words and the forum jumps on his back. Irritating but equally entertaining stuff.

Yes, his agent told him of our interest at which point he broke out in uncontrollable laughter. After wiping the tears from his eyes he was patched through to the offices at St. James' Park. The place suddenly came to life Kinnear woke up from his afternoon nap, Wise put the power ball away and Llambias emerged from his "learning to communicate with others" course. However after ten minutes of intense negotiation Veloso claimed to be "approaching a tunnel" after being called "Barlodo" on more than one occasion. They haven't heard from him since.

In fairness "transfer window gently slides into a state of closure" hardly gets the pulse going.

Arsenal taking a leaf out of Spurs book. Wenger's thought process: "The mid-field is light weight, seems to get bullied an awful lot and the defence keep making silly mistakes. What we need is another play maker." Puzzling to say the very least.

The thread was meant to be a bit tongue in cheek but OK. It's not like the title said "ZOMG!11!!!!1 best partnership ever" is it? Lovenkrands is average but he can run with the ball and finish, that in itself will cause problems. Combined with Carroll's height and ability to win the ball in the air will provide service of sorts. Wasn't his best season the season he played up front for part of it?

It was only a suggestion Nixon, nothing to wet yourself over.

I've always been a massive fan of little and large partnerships, they aren't necessary but I think they work well in any system. With Viduka always crocked, Owen doing his best to keep up and without wanting to rush Martins back I think Carroll and Lovenkrands could do a handy job. I'll be honest I never though Carroll would make at this level but he's put in a couple of decent shifts recently. He isn't a world beater but he wins a lot in the air has chipped in with a couple of goals. Lovenkrands has always been a good player the problem for me was has he lost his pace after some niggly long term injuries over in Germany. A brief stint the other night was more than enough to confirm he still has a bit of nip. Pace always scares defenders it's one of the reasons we miss Martins so much. If these two can work together, Lovenkrands providing a bit of service for Carroll and Carroll providing the odd knock down for Lovenkrands they could be in business. With the current injury plight we don't have a lot of choice but if we can keep these lads fit I think they might be a handful.

Get rid, simple as that.

Think I'd go with: ---------------------------------------------Harper--------------------------------------------- Taylor--------------------Bassong--------------------Coloccini--------------------Enrique Jonas-------------------------Butt------------------------Nolan-------------------------Duff --------------------------Carroll-----------------------------Lovenkrands-------------------- It's all about balance I'm not a massive fan of Taylor at right back but we really have no other option unless we bring a new body in on time. Providing Nolan plays himself and Butt are both combative. They have the potential to strike a nice balance with Butt's defensive attributes and Nolan's attacking attributes working in tandem. Unfortunately they both have the potential to have absolute shockers, let’s hope they have a good day. Again not a fan of Jonas on the right but we need balance and he's the only one who's fit an knows the position. The only thing I can think of is to switch him and Duff during the game. Not only will this give the full backs something to think about but Duff used to play a little on the right wing at Chelsea. I think Carroll will be up for this one. He's surprised me the last couple of games and long may it continues. I think Lovenkrands could be absolutely key up front. He's quick and hopefully will play off Carroll. If both played up front they both cause completely different threats and could be quite a handful.

Edwin Van der Sar Gael Clichy Stuart Downing Gabriel Agbonlahor

At this moment in time: Zat Knight Phil Jagielka Robert Koren Carlton Cole

Are you lot just born deluded or is there something in the water up there? He wasn't even in the team under Sammy Lee because he can't pass a ball five yards. He played his best football under Big Sam and that was a long time ago. To suggest that he only needs to pull on the black and white shirt and he will be transformed is just utter nonsense. I really hope that this deal goes through. It's a sign of the times mate. Our squad is wafer thin, we barely have any bodies in the middle of the park let alone quality. No one is expecting him to be anything special, if he was average it would be a good signing. You can talk down to this lot as much as you want but we've been waiting for some news, any news that is at least the slightest bit cheerful. All we've had is negativity all season, so if there's a hope, even if it is false hope that Nolan can re-capture his form under Big Sam then we are going to believe it, no matter how awful you insist he is.

No he isn't. Different position to Butt, but in terms of basic attributes such as being able to pass a football further than six yards people seem to underestimate what a shocking footballer he actually is.

He hasn't 'been in the best of form' for the last three seasons. He can't tackle or pass and doesn't get many goals any more (Matt Taylor is much more of a threat going forward) He's not worth his place and that's saying something because we're a pretty poor team. He can't be any worse than Nicky Butt in terms of distribution.

An interesting one, not in the best form at the minute but a move from Bolton might just be what he needs, it all seems to be going a bit stale for him there. As far as we're concerned we're not after anything amazing just someone who can tackle, pass a football and occasionally gets forward, something when in form he'll do.

The Chelsea-Liverpool fixture is televised every single year despite it being a consistent washout.

If the so called Roll's Royce players make it off the treatment table.

This is a positive thread, for positive people. http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/ilove/years/1999/gallery/340/league.jpg Your head out of the sand yet? It was never in the sand mate, I apologies for trying to introduce some positivity and optimism. Cretin.

This is a positive thread, for positive people. http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/ilove/years/1999/gallery/340/league.jpg

This game on Sunday just becomes more important doesn't it? It's not about local pride any more, lose to these knackers and relegation becomes a step closer. Now I for one don't believe ninety minutes of football can get you relegated, but this fixture could do a hell of a lot of damage should it go the wrong way. We're battered, humiliated, down in the dumps but for ninety minutes on Sunday lets just forget that. This game is huge, a draw doesn't do huge amounts of damage but a win could propel us up to eleventh and provides much needed momentum going into the game at the Hawthorns. Oh and losing? It's unthinkable. You've heard this message before, but I'm not talking about "the cockney mafia" or positive supporting or any of this s***, its about saving our season. This game is a cup final as far as we're concerned and a damn important one at that. So let’s give these lads a reception they'll never forget. For ninety minutes lets give these players belief they can beat an average mackem side. For ninety minutes let’s stay united. In the words of Delia Smith: Lets be 'avin you. Howay the lads.

Different managers have different injury records, and these records seem to follow them throughout their tenures, and as such causality can be drawn from training methods. You never seem to see good managers at clubs with bad injury records. Even Freddy Shepherd realised that the manager can play an important role in cutting down on player injuries by the end. Man United currently have Welbeck, Rafael, Ji-Sung Park, Nani, Anderson, Evens, Rooney, Evra, Ferdinand, Brown and Hargreaves out. Yes your training methods can lead to injuries, but you can't infer that after one injury crisis can you?

Right so let me get this straight. You’re saying we looked in similar shape with Beye, Guthrie, N'Zogbia and Martins in the side. You're also blaming Kinnear for the amount of injuries we have with absolutely nothing to base it on? Aye, righto.

a) We were like this before the injuries b) the majority of the injuries were probably the fault of Kinnear's training methods. a) Were we? Could of fooled me. b) A bit childish.

Aye it has nothing to do with half the first team being crocked does it?