Stifler

Those Venky's are a laughing stock. I'd love to get Hoilett though.

It would be a gamble, what we do have to remember though is that we will have Ben Arfa and Gosling back. It all depends on how those two and Cabaye adapt.

Nolan this year has shown that he starting to tire. However I still think he has 2 good years left in him, I'd like him to stay for the last 2 years of his contract then I would be happy to let him go for nothing. I would also be willing to listen to offers in the region of £3m next summer. As for now though he can still do a job here and I would suspect Nolan feels the same way, only then could I see him willing to drop down a level.

Ask her if we get her some more lemon pledge if she'll take Smith off our hands. Consuela: "Ah no, no no no no no."

West Ham: "Hello Mike, we'd like to make a £1.5m base price bid plus £1.5 in add ons for Kevin Nolan." Newcastle: "You would like to make a £1.5m bid plus £1.5 in add ons for Alan Smith, I think we have a deal." West Ham: "No, Nolan." Newcastle: "Alan Smith, yes." West Ham: "No, N-O-L-A-N." Newcastle: "S-M-I-T-H." West Ham: "Damn it we want Nolan" Newcastle: "Hold on I'll get Consuela........... http://thumbs2.modthesims.info/img/3/0/9/3/7/3/2/MTS2_Qahne_1126303_02.jpg ......Ola." West Ham: "We would like to buy Nolan." Newcastle (Consuela): "Ah no, no no no no no no."

So what would you rather, us buy 3 lower Premiership/Championship type forwards other than buy one highly rated forward who has recently won a domestic title, domestic trophy (in the country he plays in) and a European trophy and is on the verge of the Brazil squad?

He'd cost mega money, surely? And?, we have £35m from the Carroll sale and surely we had money lined up for this summer before Carroll had left. He's worth trying for, if he doesn't want to come or it will cost us too much then just knock it on the head, he's got to be worth a try though.

I can't see why we aren't going in for Hulk. We should be able to afford one big signing this summer and so far no one else have put their hat in the ring, we might as well see if we can thrash out a deal with Porto.

http://footballtavern.shotdeadinthehead.com/images/designs/JK0421m.jpg http://footballtavern.shotdeadinthehead.com/product_view.aspx?pid=386

twitter.com/paulsmithsundaymirror Craig Bellamy in talks with Swansea over a shock move.

I said my first statement as a joke, the I thought fuck I might be right and curiosity got the better of me. For the record, it's plane not plain.

Him and Gibbs are overrated. I can't see why Liverpool would even consider him.

Going off to catch the last flight into Newcastle. Could be tbh. Theirs no direct flights from Poland to Newcastle within the next 24 hours, however assuming he's going via Paris there is at least 2 due in tomorrow.

Going off to catch the last flight into Newcastle.

Gibbson a has been? Wtf. He's shit though, I'd rather play Guthrie than him.

How come they get a decent amount of money yet try to get 3 has beens? Not one of them would I welcome here.

Because it doesn't involve a release clause. Seems like it's the only actual negotiation we've been involved with under Ashley! Must be new territory for them. Messi has a release clause. It's about £1bn but still he has one.

The pitch is currently being re-laid and we are getting new dugout's again.

Technically a week ends on Saturday night and a new week begins on a Sunday. The real term is weekends and not weekend as is used. So technically we should know by the end of tomorrow, however when statements like these are made by footballers I tend to allow for the week when they said it and then add another 14 months.

Shouldn't the box office have a machine that counts the cash?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CD2LRROpph0 Howay, which seat are you taking Gervinho?

Sam must be pissed off that the day after he takes a step down a Premiership job with Fulham opens up.

Avram Grant to Fulham.

I'm pretty sure he'd like to live on a world of his own.

I wonder how much the FIFA ethnics committee got out of clearing Blatter of any wrong doing?