Anderson

:lol: What a ridiculous statement to make. Tbf, it's not that far from the truth. His goals and character were massive for us last season, but aside from that he didn't bring much to the table.

That's a David Brent quote man!

That Inter kit's lush like.

I still have absolutely no understanding of what's gone on. Who's refused him a Visa if it's not the British end? How can't he get one when he's worked here for a year? Fucking ridiculous.

Just think, if he's already looking more promising in open play than his big brother, imagine what his pennas will be like!

Gary.

I'm sure they've done that before. That must be the stock image they've got saved for Barton. Thick cunts.

It was Ranger's that really tickled me.

;D Fucking hell, I'm nearly in tears. Absolutely brilliant.

Meh, all early window optimism gone. Once again the most we can look forward to this season is survival. Brilliant.

LiterallyJamie Not Jamie Redknapp @Joey7Barton How was training? Did you stand on your own, and leave on your own, and go home and cry, and want to die?

Joey7Barton Joseph Barton "I am human and I need to be loved, just like anybody else does" #thesmiths

Brilliant.

Premiership Winners: Man Utd Runners Up: Man City 3rd: Chelsea 4th: Arsenal Europa: Liverpool Relegation: Wigan, Norwich, Blackburn Over Achievers: Fulham Under Performers: Everton/NUFC Top Goal Scorer: Rooney Break Out Year: Vuckic Season to Forget: Gerrard PFA Player of the Year: Rooney PFA Young Player of the Year: Carroll FWA Player of the Year: Rooney Where will NUFC finish?: 12 Domestic Championship Promotion: West Ham, Forest Play Off Winners: Leicester Championship Relegation: P'Boro, Doncaster, Coventry First Division Promotion: Huddersfield, Preston, Rochdale First Division Relegation: Tranmere, Oldham, Stevenage, Wycombe Second Division Promotion: Bristol, Dagenham, Shrewsbury, Torquay Second Division Relegation: Hereford, Morecombe FA Cup: Man Utd League Cup: Liverpool Johnstone Paint Trophy: Sheff Wed FA Vase: Whitley Bay World La Liga winner: Barca Serie A winner: Inter Bundesliga: Bayern Champions League: Real Madrid Europa League: PSG World Player of the Year: Messi Olympic Gold Medal: Spain Other First Prem manager to quit/be sacked/'mutual consent': Steve Kean NUFC's top scorer: Ba Will Wayne Rooney's Hair fall out before the end of the Season: Yes What's the next crazy thing Mario Balotelli will do: Pull out Wayne Rooney's hair. Will an away team win a penalty at Old Trafford this season: Yes

Best - Shola and Sammy sign new 5 year deals, Shola given #9 shirt. Worst - Shola sold.

Aye, it's unlike 'Arry to pass up on such a t'riffic deal too.

Probably just sat there looking suave, smug and sexy as fuck.

Orders from above Pardew's head? I never had Ashley down as the type of owner to dictate set-piece takers.

Sholameobi Shola Ameobi Actually chinned pardew when he asked me to play in midfield today, does he know who I am? Sholameobi Shola Ameobi Are stoke the ones we usually play? The mackems? I'm dead confused, who are the blues again? Does ibrahimovic run them?

Can't see him sticking around for year surrounded by turbulence and uncertainty when he's expecting his first kid soon, he'll want to get settled down, first club to offer him 4/5 years and he'll be off.

Every year, without fail. No doubt Tiote is Mr February? Carroll was February this year wasn't he? It's a fucking conspiracy!

FUCKING HELL! SSN just did a round of interviews with NUFC fans and there wasn't a single super mong amongst them. Wow.

Wouldn't be surprised to see him link up with Nolan and go to West Ham tbh. I can't see us letting him go for nowt to someone we're going to be closely competing with in the league. Plus he's got a kid on the way so he'll more than likely be looking for a fairly long contact so he can settle down.