Village Idiot

HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

Definitely Figo. I keep his Barça shirt as a morbid memento.

Offering my firstborn in sacrifice to the Real Madrid moloch seems appropriate, but a bit longterm.

Not enough to get a 5-0. The tempting fate prowess needs to be harder.

Hey guys, what ludicrous promise should I make to draw the ire of the football gods and jinx this evening's game in our favor? Is drinking one's p*ss still en vogue?

Come on NUFC, close this and you're as good as promoted.

Lucho announces he's quitting at the end of the season. While I agree that he's run his course here, I'm not sure it's the best moment to announce it.

I'm an 8 and I thought I was being pessimistic...

Massive.

Ranieri at least deserved to see out the CL tie against Sevilla imho, they have a realistic chance of turning that one over.

On beyond the pale football corruption news #1242314 the Spanish FA has been forced to return €1,5m in public money they received from the Spanish government back in 2010 to build and run football schools in developing countries, football schools that were never built.

Fantastic news, a sacking before X'Mas was the second best outcome of his Palace tenure. He'll get another job in the Prem, for sure. He can ride that "his teams do well at the beginning" reputation to get employed by some team battling relegation. And hopefully get relegated with them.

Why the f*** are we playing in Doha today? God, I hate those cash friendlies.

I don't want Pardew to get sacked. I want them to go down with him captaining the f***ing sinking ship, after he's personally lead it towards the reefs with everybody screaming at his side to change course. I want all the world to see what a fraud he is. No ifs or buts.

If Sporting get something against Espanyol tomorrow, Valencia will be dragged into a relegation spot. Such an abysmal season.

Atlético's de Madrid new stadium will be called "Wanda Metropolitano". New crest, too: http://img.rtve.es/imagenes/nuevo-escudo-del-atletico-madrid/1481288248608.jpg Both terrible choices, imho.

Lax/underfunded tax inspection.

So we've moved from NUFC managers setting winless records, to one setting record wins. It's a lower division, but it's a welcome change.

So, in all games where we have dropped points in the league (10), Messi didn't start the match. Seems we're back to 2012.

I agree.

Intel are paying to have their name on the inside of your shirts as well ffs. Inside? what the f*** is even the point? "Intel Inside" It's stupid, but hey, it's their money.

We're finally ditching Qatar next season. New sponsor will be Rakuten (some Japanese internet retailer) for €55m/season+€6,5m addons. Apparently Piqué and Shakira helped broker the deal

Glad these are over and we can get back to proper football. I love international tournaments, but god those international breaks feel so pointless.

He'd be 36. I'll be surprised if he sees it off.

Reminds me of what my dad did once when I got lazy at school and got bad grades.