The Bard of Byker

It'll be Shiney Row Industrial Waste Processing Plant or similar.

He's everything you could possibly want in a man. Calm, assured, dignified. I love him.

How can they get 7 in a row when the last game between the two teams ended in a draw? ALTERNATIVE MACKTS!

Stays like that we’re mathematically safe as I figure seen loads of people on twitter worrying about when we're "mathematically" safe. Who cares man, we're safe 99.99999999% I'll feel better once its 100%, it being nufc I can't rule out the stupidly unlikely things happening to us because they have a tendency to anyway. Southampton would need to win all 3, Swansea would need to win all 3, Huddersfield would need 2 wins and a draw (from Man City, Chelsea & Arsenal), West Ham would need 7 pts naaah Swansea and Soton can't both win all 3, as one of those games is between those 2. After Chelsea's win, we're now 100% safe.

Are we? Nope. We need to lose all 3 games whilst Soton win all 3 with a 10 swing GD. Although if they do manage 3 wins it'll most likely be Swansea, Huddersfield or West hame going down in Sotons place, not us. If Soton win all 3 games, doesn't that mean Swansea can only get a maximum of 6 points, as one of their games is vs Soton? Even with 6 points, Swansea would be below us.

Will they get marrachute payments in Leygue One?

In the space of 2 weeks we managed to get knocked out of the Europa League and lose 0-3 and 0-6 to Sunderland and Liverpool respectively. Great times This can't be right, I thought we lost 6-0 when we had geremi, smith and co? We got battered 0-3 in 2007/08 under Allardyce when it really should've been 0-9 or 0-10. The atmosphere at that game was horrifically toxic. And in 08/09 they again dicked us and should've scored more but it was 1-5 under JFK. Both games Liverpool were managed by Rafa, who apparently doesn't play good football, too defensive, doesn't let his players past the half way line and stuff. Read it on here. The 0-6 was under Pardew, Suarez was banned for Liverpool, and they again should've scored more. Our pathetic attempt at an offside trap that game. Christ I had totally forgotten about the 0-6 somehow, but just googled it now i remember, good times I remember it was horrendous. Turned up expecting us to give them a usual SJP pumping (wahey, no Suarez!), but it went quickly wrong...

Punish them. Joselu to score 4 Tiotes.

Duuu brav ka ka ka Keeps the ball out of the goal Duuu brav ka ka ka Denies Blob and Karl a role

It's got to be Agadoo, like... Duuu brav ka ka ka Keeps the ball out of the net Duuu brav ka ka ka Has he got some new gloves yet?

Heads have dropped.

In their defence, they do have a good selection of condiments.

As he said himself, he likes very expensive wine.

It'd be faaking Waitrose, the southern softie.

Will be injured. Not a problem.

'We are considerably richer than yow!'

He's always late.

The Lass o'Gowrie and Peveril of the Peak are both good.

Best not mix the two up though, ho ho.

Getting the garam masala and the Radox out yet again...

Please remember, rubber up.

I'm sure the word 'exhaustive' was used in the Sky statement rather than 'exhausting'.

250m is low. That is what the club was worth a decade ago. With the new PL money top tier clubs can become decent investment vehicles if managed correctly. IMO Newcastle has other advantages over run of the mill PL clubs as well. Think this might burst a few bubbles in here, but from a business perspective we are a run of the mill PL club. We are no different than Stoke, Watford, Bournemouth, and Swansea. Just like all of them and really anyone outside the top 6, we are closer to not being a PL club at all than being a top tier club. This is why there is such a massive gap in the valuations of the top 6 and everyone else. It's hard to fathom Liverpool or Spurs being relegated so those clubs are in a similar price bracket to some American sports teams based on the massive, global TV deals, merchandise, tickets, etc. For everyone else the threat of relegation, and with it the loss of the primary revenue stream, is more real than ever. The best way for Ashley to get the price he wants (and likely much more) would be to place a bet on Rafa's ability to move us into a much more secure position. Establish us as a "safe" club. But he's not going to do that so he'll continue to gamble, benefit from the global branding he's getting for free, and see if someone will eventually take the risk and pay him what he wants. Hmm. Bigger, better stadium in a better location, bigger fanbase (with the reputation, fair or otherwise, of being particularly fanatical), a history of competing in Europe (and the CL, in fact). How can you say we're the same - in terms of potential - as the other clubs listed? Get it right - which involves risk - and we'll be going much further than a Watford or a Swansea, and more quickly. There's plenty of reasons we're better from a romantic point of view, but that's irrelevant unless we find out Jeff Bezos or the Sultan of Arabia is secretly a Geordie at heart. The stadium and crowds are a blip on the total revenue. A history of competing in Europe is meaningless as it is history and provides exactly £0 in revenue. Even if a prospective owner was comfortable paying a bit of a premium based on our potential, our stadium, etc., it would be eye opening to calculate the cost of attempting to infiltrate the top 6 and become one of them. And if you're not one of them, you are one bad appointment and/or a few bad signings from risking your PL status and future revenue. I don't accept that it's 'romantic' - I've listed a mix of hard and soft assets. We have em, the others don't. The idea of 'infiltrating the top 6' isn't a helpful way of thinking about things - at least not at this stage. 7th place for a good few years would be fine by me.

250m is low. That is what the club was worth a decade ago. With the new PL money top tier clubs can become decent investment vehicles if managed correctly. IMO Newcastle has other advantages over run of the mill PL clubs as well. Think this might burst a few bubbles in here, but from a business perspective we are a run of the mill PL club. We are no different than Stoke, Watford, Bournemouth, and Swansea. Just like all of them and really anyone outside the top 6, we are closer to not being a PL club at all than being a top tier club. This is why there is such a massive gap in the valuations of the top 6 and everyone else. It's hard to fathom Liverpool or Spurs being relegated so those clubs are in a similar price bracket to some American sports teams based on the massive, global TV deals, merchandise, tickets, etc. For everyone else the threat of relegation, and with it the loss of the primary revenue stream, is more real than ever. The best way for Ashley to get the price he wants (and likely much more) would be to place a bet on Rafa's ability to move us into a much more secure position. Establish us as a "safe" club. But he's not going to do that so he'll continue to gamble, benefit from the global branding he's getting for free, and see if someone will eventually take the risk and pay him what he wants. Hmm. Bigger, better stadium in a better location, bigger fanbase (with the reputation, fair or otherwise, of being particularly fanatical), a history of competing in Europe (and the CL, in fact). How can you say we're the same - in terms of potential - as the other clubs listed? Get it right - which involves risk - and we'll be going much further than a Watford or a Swansea, and more quickly. We *are* one of the most attractive investment opportunities in the PL - it's us and Everton.

Wideboy tactic.