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What do you call a cow that has recently been purchased in the North East? NewCattle.

Premier League Winners: Man City Runners Up: Arsenal 3rd-6th: Liverpool, Spurs, Newcastle, Man United Relegation: Southampton, Leicester, Nottingham Forest Overachievers: Crystal Palace (8th) Underperformers: Aston Villa (10th) Top Goal Scorer: Haaland Break Out Year: Zirkzee Season to Forget: Grealish PFA Player of the Year: Haaland PFA Young Player of the Year: Zirkzee Manager of the Year: Pep First manager to quit/be sacked: Nuno Santos Championship Winners: Coventry Runners Up: Burnley Play-Offs: Luton, Leeds, Hull, QPR Relegation: Oxford, Plymouth, Blackburn Newcastle United Where will we finish?: 5th Top Goalscorer: Isak Top Assister: Gordon Season to forget: Barnes Will Howe be manager at the end of the season?: Yes Domestic League One Promotion: Bolton, Birmingham, Charlton League One Relegation: Crawley, Cambridge, Stevenage, Exeter League Two Promotion: Carlisle, Mk Dons, Doncaster, Colchester League Two Relegation: Grimsby, Barrow National League Promotion: Gateshead, Yeovil FA Cup: Man City League Cup: Chelsea EFL Trophy: Stockport Europe La Liga winner: Real Madrid Serie A winner: AC Milan Bundesliga winner: Bayer Leverkusen European Competitions Champions League winner: Real Madrid Europa League winner: Athletic Bilbao Conference League Winner: Chelsea General World Player of the Year: Bellingham World Young player: Bellingham

Liverpool Echo =/= Newcastle Chronicle.

So we're well aware we're just comparing different shades of shit then?

Man United had more individual injuries: Newcastle had more time and games lost due to injuries:

I feel like this debate is like comparing who had it worse, a guy without a left leg, or a guy without a right. Newcastle fans are going to say they had it worse as they lived it but didn't Man United's injury crisis, and vice versa for Man United fans

It is starting to get slightly annoying that this thread is always at the top of football section like

You know the drill... Premier League Winners: Runners Up: 3rd-6th: Relegation: Overachievers: Underperformers: Top Goal Scorer: Break Out Year: Season to Forget: PFA Player of the Year: PFA Young Player of the Year: Manager of the Year: First manager to quit/be sacked: Championship Winners: Runners Up: Play-Offs: Relegation: Newcastle United Where will we finish?: Top Goalscorer: Top Assister: Season to forget: Will Howe be manager at the end of the season?: Domestic League One Promotion: League One Relegation: League Two Promotion: League Two Relegation: National League Promotion: FA Cup: League Cup: EFL Trophy: Europe La Liga winner: Serie A winner: Bundesliga winner: European Competitions Champions League winner: Europa League winner: Conference League Winner: General World Player of the Year: World Young player:

Solid run-out that.

Hall gol.

Pope sweeping

For a pre=season friendly, that was highly entertaining, normally they are boring as sin, but that had a decent level of intensity to it. Also, I think its really beneficial to be playing a team who are halfway through their season, and are match sharp. Especially a J-League Team who are a decent level league.

This game is absolutely chaotic, and being played at 100mph. Good prep for fitness

To watch that YouTube stream you need to VPN to a country other than Japan and the UK.

Tidy that.

Every time he does anything of note this season this thread is going to be bumped. All he's done is score a couple of goals against lower league level opposition in pre-season and its spawned a 5 page debate. This thread will be last seasons ASM

You play Brighton second game of the season, so don't worry its not too long a wait until he invariably scores against you

I wonder how many people will go to that, just to use it as a comedy show

Are you sure that's not just because you're used to watching England this summer?

I feel like your arguing with yourself at this point my guy

Oh good. This debate again. Can we please give it a rest

From the BBC live text of the Cricket: