gbandit

Eh, what the fuck is he thinking. Just checked and that was in the 85th minute at 1-1. They then concede in the 94th minute and lose 2-1. Horrific from the keeper

Typing away furiously in the comments, ‘not enough meat ornamentation. Would not ruhl me foreskin doon, 3/10’

Steve Bruce's Autobiography "I never saw it coming" Chapter one I logged onto my computer first thing after necking a couple of doner kebabs lathered in bacon juice, taking a swig of curry sauce that had pooled in the chippy container that I'd cast aside the night before. Time for a quick check of the emails, email #1 from Alex Bruce, 'keep your chin up dad, you're the best manager in the championship, any chance we could have next week off as I want to go to Disneyland.' Thanks son, big fat yes to that as long as I get first dibs on the seats on Space Mountain. I scan another few emails and see one that's somehow ended up in my junk titled 'you've won a million pounds'. My heart started racing, maybe this was my lucky day. I clicked into the email and sure enough, there it was in plain, yet broken english. I was the last remaining descendant of a rich distant relative and as such I was due to receive one million pounds. All I needed to do was enter some personal details and send over my banking information. As quick as my oedema-riddled body would allow, I podged out the info through my chunky fingers and sent off the email. Next up, a quick scan of pornhub's fetish section, women covered in meat, yeah, that's the good stuff, oh what, one of those stupid pop-ups, what is it this time? "Your computer is infected and you need to enter some security information in order to get full access back" Fuck, talk about bad timing. Right, let's have a click here then, national insurance number, date of birth, telephone numbers, address, right that should sort it. The screen goes black "Janet, the laptop's on the blink again, can you get one of the Steves round to fix it?" Two weeks later my bank accounts are empty and all my personal details were everywhere online, I just never saw it coming.

Kulusevski is absolutely made for the premier league

Spurs tasting blood in the water after Man U and Arsenal’s self-destruction

Arsenal’s commitment to being a dying football club is commendable

Loved that weird free kick that Shelvey and Targett faked over three times

I agree, I don’t know how it would work, but a margin of error in favour of the attacking side of at least a few inches would be fair. Tight calls get VAR checked all the time so it wouldn’t cause any additional delays, the main issue would be measuring it effectively

They could keep carthorse as someone to bully for team bonding, provided he doesn’t get any game time

I get that he’s only 19 and I haven’t seen his other games for Wolves but he doesn’t have great pace, he didn’t seem technically that strong, not great in the air, no idea what he’s like in front of goal but he didn’t look like a striker at all

Absolutely disgusting from Man U, hope this season really fucks them for years to come

If Man U don’t get three points they’ve totally fucked any chance of champions league. Absolute mess of a club

Five fucking points man, Bruce should be locked up

Loved how he was saying “me, really me?” When he got subbed. He wants to play every minute this lad, absolutely loves the game. He’s genuinely got the potential to be world class in his position

Seemed pretty mindless posting the same thing in every thread. What are you expecting us to do in the summer, ship out more than ten players for new ones?

Please stop

Not having a go like as I’m delighted we won and there’s nothing particularly to criticise him about but I barely remember him touching the ball all game. Did I just miss it or was he barely involved apart from deep in our own half a few times

On a massive high after that result, just feel like all the stress of this season is finally lifting. Basically just need one more result or a few draws

Absolutely delighted for him. We all know his limitations and how he’s not going to feature much in the future but I want him to get a few more goals in his time here. Hopefully he can get two more before the season’s out

Take a bow son

That one pass he did to the corner flag when all he needed to do was cushion it along the floor was ridiculous like, was the easiest pass in the world to make and he wasn’t under pressure

That was a really decent performance tonight. I know Wolves were shit until the last ten minutes but he played well positionally and linked in better with others going forward too

Credit to our lads but how awful were Wolves, the amount of times they misplaced passes to us in their own half. Glad we caught them with their pants after a few injuries to key players

They better have him as an unlockable character in the next Mortal Kombat

Not his night, did a lot of good running with the ball but his couple of shots and his passing in and around the box was really poor apart from that one pass across the face of goal which would have been great if we had a mobile striker