LV

Bodo scored

Steve Black? Yep.

So glad pre-season is finally over

Absolutely this.

No more goals

Hooper was terrible. We've had some awful goalkeepers over the years. John Karelse and Lionel Perez ffs.

Have we just actually scored 5 goals?

Mitro!!! What a well taken goal.

We look shattered.

Gah

Great cross from Dummett

Steve Black sewed bacon into the ball before the match. Elliott wont be dropping anything.

Deserved it tbf

Well played Sissoko

We got a freekick given in our favour!

Aye but 5 years ffs Please just let me dream. I can't take the reality.

Hopefully it was just in case Uncle Pards came calling for his 'services' so that we could get a fee for him. Because I can't imagine any universe in which it could be for his ability.

Wonderful stuff.

Have it Pardew.

'Player X must play'? very strange comment to make, only thing that makes sense due to use of the word structure is mcclaren being on the board is somehow f***ing with things they want on the training ground, but it's very hard to imagine what that might be unless they're after a second set of bibs but charnley won't fork out for it or something I think he's saying it's the second bit that Simpson is frustrated about. This bit: 'Despite this, player recruitment is largely controlled by chief scout Graham Carr and McClaren’s influence over some key aspects of the club remains limited.' So in my view Simpson is frustrated that, despite being on the board, McClaren has limited influence over the club. he's saying it badly then Yeah, it's all over the place. Not up the the Chronicle's usual high standards of grammar and prose.

'Player X must play'? very strange comment to make, only thing that makes sense due to use of the word structure is mcclaren being on the board is somehow f***ing with things they want on the training ground, but it's very hard to imagine what that might be unless they're after a second set of bibs but charnley won't fork out for it or something I think he's saying it's the second bit that Simpson is frustrated about. This bit: 'Despite this, player recruitment is largely controlled by chief scout Graham Carr and McClaren’s influence over some key aspects of the club remains limited.' So in my view Simpson is frustrated that, despite being on the board, McClaren has limited influence over the club.

I loved Ivor the Engine in the Welsh bit. That's from the 70s you know. I got it.

Who?! Bloody hell. Niche.

Who's the woman in the Wales slide? Charlotte Church?