Altamullan

Week 22: An unremarkable week scoring wise: an average of 15.5—just below our season average of 16.4 points. Though, hats-off to ben-nufc for a top score of 23 pts. The highest scoring game returned 89 points (Man City v Palace). Lowest scoring was Villa v Leicester (29 pts), with most of us (23) going for an away win. ben-nufc was the only one to predict the draw, and got the score correct too. tgarve got the only 10-pointer, there were 9 other 5 point scores, 7 results (4 from the Man City pleasure-fest) returned 6 pts, and 6 results (mainly thanks to the Makems’ mauling--can you get mauled off a Cockrel? Makems' cocking, then) gave us 4 pts. Top three scorers for the last five weeks are: joeyt 108 pts, ben-nufc 101 pts and BeloEmre 99pts. Lawro would have scored 14 points this week, and his guests Jordan & Bellew, 10 points. The most popular guesses on BBC Sport Predictor, would have scored 12, and our group guess, 15. Lawro’s total score would now be 404: he’s being pegged back by our leader Magpie, on an impressively consistent 401. 10 (45%) of Magpie’s predictions have returned 20 points or over . Next best, on this criterion, are BeloEmre and joeyt who each have 9 weeks scoring 20 or above.

:lol: :lol: ... in shared office, trying to be discreet and can't stop laughing! All are excellent, but this and Father Ted...man, they just really tickle me!

My freebie jacket arrived today : (1) could be the ugliest f***ing coat I have ever seen; (2) it's tiny; if this is classed as XL then applying the same poetic licence to cock measurement, I'm King Dong/"my penny [defo] won't fit the slot" (one for you IP). Basically, in colour and size it it looks more suited to The Lollypop Guild/Munchkins. Thanks for nowt! Postage well spent.

Norwich 1-2 Liverpool Crystal Palace 1-3 Spurs Leicester 1-1 Stoke Man Utd 2-1 Southampton Sunderland 2-2 Bournemouth Watford 1-1 Newcastle West Brom 1-0 Aston Villa West Ham 0-2 Man City Everton 4-1 Swansea Arsenal 3-1 Chelsea

13 points please. I thank you; including the sweetest 3 of them all--preferably by a comfortable margin (getting sick of all this tension malarkey). Once again, I thank you.

£944 raised so far. Lovely to see a community helping celebrate a life and give a dignified goodbye.

Tony Pulis (who is a more than decent manager) isn't playing Berahino because he's a disruptive git with a terrible attitude. The kid can be as talented as anyone, it doesn't matter though, it'll be the same as Ben Arfa. The first sign of it not going well, he'll be sulking and going on strike. No thanks. For that sort of money the club should stick a cheeky bid in for Vardy (am not assuming he'd want to come here, just that Leicester might listen to an offer of that size), quickest player in the league. Would be a perfect partner for Mitrovic. http://cdn.images.express.co.uk/img/dynamic/67/590x/Leicester-City-Leicester-Jamie-Vardy-Nigel-Pearson-Foxes-LCFC-581965.jpg Funniest suggestion I've seen in here in ages. Well done. Perhaps we should have a subtle brain washing campaign? A good start has been made by someone chucking a toon shirt over Vardy's fence... " Faint heart never fucked a water buffalo" as a friend from Dunston was fond of saying...

West Ham fan interviewed post-match who made some disparaging comments about us.... cheeky chappie! Now has a genuine medical syndrome named after him, and to add insult to...well insult... the honour of being reefered! Tom Down's Syndrome: Toonaphobia Allergic to smell of petrol Unquenchable thirst for Fosters lager Homoerotic fantasies about Dicks (Julian, as well) Microphallically Challenged, i.e. hung like a whippet. Penchant for 1970s-stylee sitcoms and stand-up comedians, typically Till Death Do Us Part and Jim Davidson. Owns and likely mistreats a bull terrier, possibly involving bestiality due to sexual inadequacies (see Microphallic criterion). Common-law wife likely to resemble Waynetta Slob (won't be married due to lengthy narrative covering many perceived injustices around benefits and likely to feature asylum seekers.) Lives on pies and chips (conceals deep shame about dislike of jellied eels). Refusal of foreign muck food (like his wife's pizza, which she binge eats to compensate for lack of home-reared sausage). Geographically confused - persistently claims badlands of Brentwood's social housing is actually in the heart of the Eastend of Laaaaan-din. Tic disorder causing exuberant clapping on aeroplane landings. Two common forms of facial abnormality: 1) resembling an inbred Royal with learning disabilities; 2) a female sexual organ, a complete one. Pathological dependence on advice from mythical caring grandfather - all TDS suffers have unfortunately evidently never been loved. Unnatural attachment to child's bubble blowing paraphernalia: unexplained, and unexplainable. (Context for this tomfoolery in post match thread)

Can't thank you enough!

Done. Nice touch

It's wrong, just plain wrong. Phone the RSPCA; the callous twats need to be stopped. Stopped, I say!

TBF, the hair adds/added 10cm! edit: ok, this only makes him 5'11"...

that dog looks like it has just eaten its own shit...

track back through these pages dude, the age debate has been done to death. Really like him and pleased he's here, but given he's on record as saying he thinks he was 'born in 1990' I'm plumping for that. Which also fits with how old he looks, to me (...though I am piss poor at guessing age).

omfg how fantastic was that move for the second goal! Think I need to go and watch it again. If we get one in three games like that, man, Ashley/Wonga/TransPennine traffic or not, I fear I may have to frequent SJH and the lesser venues our chaps bless with their presence.

Think the writing was on the wall when he arrived, it's like that nursery rhyme (Let's call it little Florie, with a curl): "when he's good, he's very very good, and when he's bad he's horrid" (Sheff Wed). We have to be willing to gloss over the horror show shit until he has accumulated enough positive contributions to make it easy to do so. It's an easy move for him if he immediately sets the world on fire; not so much if he gets in a tailspin due to an deficit in 'stuff' coming off. Have to say, I have seen enough to know I would like to see more.

His dream of a peaceful coexistence between mutants (midfield) and humanity (forwards) has long been the driving force for the X-Men (the SD free-jacket wearing faithful).

Takes one to know one: class acts.

Looked good and comfortable on the ball, put a couple of good tackles in and just generally worked hard for the team when he came on. Absolutely nothing spectacular, but a promising debut in tough circumstances (Shelvey was starting to look tired and West Ham were trying to put pressure on us). Would feel comfortable with him starting against Watford after that showing.

I've haven't seen the full game game. What did you like about Saivet/what does he bring?

Felt for Chancel, but also wondered whether Elliot could have been a bit sharper. A lot of us have been banging on about need for experienced big/strong CB; mainly to replace Colo. However, even though Colo's form has really picked-up, your right the option of taking Mbemba out of the firing line, perming two from three, still requires a new arrival. I'm a bit worried that Colo's upturn in form, in the same way as his pre-season contractual shenanigans, may scupper seeking a new arrival.

yep, the usual patter is that it doesn't matter what kind of goal it is, in off the shin, arse, knee etc... but I really hope he catches a sweet lash off the laces and buries it. Preferrably one which is low probability to go in and Shearer salivates over on MotD.

Fuckwits that can't appreciate Colback's contribution to the team for example, while so many coaches, managers and ex-players do right? Fuckwittery, in this sense, involves ignoring or not being able to understand the actual issue previously being debated (in the Colback forum), or believing and propogating the delusional chaff which is the actual issue being debated, ie. what they see on the pitch is proof that a player is deliberately playing badly to save their skin/reputation at the expense of the team, that one player is the sole/main reason that the 'top of the pyramid' premiership teams they have played in have struggled with relegation, that people with professional knowledge and day-to-day coaching of the player over his career are biased (due to friendship/not wanting to hurt his feelings-despite having to have the conversation with 99% of the best young players who go through their academies), that anybody who doesn't share these views international manager or fellow fan is clearly wrong/not as proficient at mind reading as they are. Anyway, what doe sthat have to do with not seeing it as vital to applaud Graham Carr for finding Wijnaldum; Dennis Wise could have found this fucker. Doubt it was GC who persuaded him to sign. Who do you fancy applauding for that?

What a f***ing preposterous analogy this is. Mental. The analogy is fine, as analogies go. Main difference is that nobody else is going to do the shot stopping (well, occasional body in the way/on the line may help) whereas Mitro's effectivenss at other aspects of his game (of his kind of striker's game) increase the likelihood of other scoring (metaphorically shot stopping). That said, PLEASE score Alek!