David Edgar

This is really bad. Isak and Gordon offering nothing.

Is that a limp?

I think most people will take the easy route towards deciphering this, but if you apply a bit of brainpower then the only answer is

Jobe seems unable to progress the ball. Just has to pass sideways or backwards.

Thanks for sending me your thanks mate.

I won't be paying that preseason friendly tournament a moment of my attention. The same way I don't bother with the Emirates Cup.

Get in

A bag of charcoal and some mouse traps. SOLD.

Let's sign him. Howe to get the best out of him instead of the Manchester frauds who ruined him.

HOW AM I DOING BOSS?

Sign for city and immediately installed as the England right back. Just cos.

Kayne and Mike are massive tits.

Massive tits.

I didn't know you could get match highlights on instagram.

16th in the league, no Europe, no trophy, a manager with a relegation tier points per game haul and Jim making all the important cuts behind the scenes. At least they've got some CGI tent pictures.

Son needs to get on Soccer Aid.

A Manchester Red goal is on its way. And then they'll use the momentum to win it.

COYS

Oh no are Sky showing a pointless game. I'll have to suffer the superior international feed. How unfortunate.