Miggys First Goal

Kane’s agent brother rubbing his hands together at the thought of getting his percentage of the fee.

PL football is BACK! Nine months of gloriousness!

SSN turned into plane-spotting nonces. Christ.

Caicedo at £111M is fair market value in that case?

Caicedo has told Brighton that he only wants to move to Chelsea.

Any idea how long these episodes are?

Ground looked empty there.

Should have been Keegan.

Choices are limited up here like. Ant and Dec? Cheryl? Robson Green? Tim Healy? Alexander Armstrong?

"Newcastle have made an offer for Anthony Gordon below Everton's valuation (dramatic pause or just turning the page on the script???) which has been rejected."

That’s fucking ridiculous like.

Sorry, but a team that finished 12th can’t be considered a big 7 club.

There’s actually no way to follow up to something like that. Just killed the thread. Anyway, if this happens, I’ll allow it.

The fuck…?

In all seriousness, how this club still managed to operate under the previous regime when all these jobs didn’t exist or weren’t filled is a miracle.

Needs more Aniston in this thread. That usually shuffles things along.

I’d love to see what Eddie could turn this lad into.

Don’t think we’re going to struggle for goals this season.

Unbeaten in pre-season?

Murphy, Barnes x2, Joe.

Just the £500M prize money, right?

First trophy of the season incoming!

Somebody get Neil Lennon a earpiece that fits.

Bring back Jeff.