Holmesy

Was just thinking the same. We had a few decent ones when Pardew was here and he was a cunt!

What a difference it makes to have a striker! He’s done more in 10 minutes than Wood did in 10 games?

I think there’s a good chance he wants to stay North. He’s a proper Leeds lad and is really close to his family so I doubt a move south of the Midlands appeals

I did actually mean 33, it was a mere slip of the finger...

How the hell is Perisic still only 33?! He's been around forever

Philips seems like a top lad as well - humble, hard working, chipper. Character is clearly massively important to Howe (which might be one of the reasons ASM is rumoured to be on his way) so he seems like a good fit in that respect as well

He's one of the best players of all time. He turned up in the big international tournaments, the Champions League and he royally took the piss domestically. He was unplayable. I know opinions are like arseholes mate, but your arsehole must stink

Lomana Lua Lua

Dortmund might come in for Wood to replace him and we could kickstart our transfer business

Not having that at all. The rest, aye

Sergio Ramos - absolute shit-house clogger playing in soft leagues, with brilliant players around him and given a very long leash by referees because of the teams he played for. He would've been a disaster in the PL

I'm a big fan of the socks down look ala Chris Waddle. Top knots and hair bands are shite though - there's a lad in my gym with quite short curtains and he wears a totally unnecessary shoe lace around his head - looks a total cunt!

Play him at CB - his ability to cushion headers into the keeper's arms is second to none

I would too if i played for Everton

This guy man! I just don't have the words

Teams know how to play against him now - it’s not unusual. We either need to change the system to give him more space or he needs to adapt his game. The problem now is that his game doesn’t rely on pass and move, it relies on him trying to take on everyone and it’s predictable as fuck

Fuck knows but I guarantee whoever it is will be better than Wood.

I wouldn’t even keep Chris Wood as third choice striker next season. Don’t give him a squad number and promote someone from the youth team instead. He’s one of the worst players I’ve seen up front for us.

Lampard too. No mention of it since, funnily enough - it's almost like they know nothing, print shite and then pretend they didn't

And consistently started Ciaran Clark.

I'm still getting used to it - might take another couple of transfer windows until it feels real. I still expect us to discuss all of these exciting names and then sign Jordan Rhodes on a free. On your point about getting rid of players, I think Murphy has put himself well in the shop window for newly promoted teams. There's probably another £8-10m?

Leading by example as always, Steve

Joe Gomez is wasting away at Liverpool. Wouldn't mind us launching a rescue operation for him

He pretty much looks like exactly the same player as Bruno, which i'm stating as a positive not a negative. Technical skill, composure on the ball and a bit of bite in the tackle. Get him signed!!

Yeah, i knew it was one of them.