Holmesy

Has Murphy been told to stay up the pitch while we get absolutely bummed down the right hand side? Fuck me, this is a fucking shambles!

We’re not making it very difficult for him

Are they all pissed?!

Yeah, he’s not had a good game so far at all. Murphy has been shite as well

I love that he was pissed off. He’s sat on the bench all the time desperately wanting to be involved. Gets a half and then gets brought off after playing well. It’s frustration, it’s passion, it’s disappointment, it’s desire, it’s everything you want your players to show so you know they care.

Fair enough, I didn’t realise that

I’m afraid Eddie has got this team choice all wrong here. We look totally clueless

We don’t look anywhere near as dangerous without ASM in the side

Get him on the box more often, he’s class! When you watch that, it’s even more staggering that the likes of Clinton Morrison and Gabby Agbonlahor have media careers.

sorry!

So is your Mum ?

Rice replacing Longstaff would be an amazing upgrade

He scuffed it tbf. It was meant to be a pass back to Pope

What have we done to deserve this guy?

Massive shame if these bubble loving cockney pricks go down. Their fans are a load of shit!

Anthony Gordon ?? Alexander Isak ?

Matty Targett, are you out there somewhere? We need you big man, come back!

ASM says hi ?

I love Eddie’s new version of ASM but he’s almost too unselfish. Get your shots away pal!

Fabian, you sexy fucker!

Best thing about this is you know Eddie will never tell them to sit on the lead. “We want 5, we want 5!”

Almost back to his best yesterday. He knew he had Dalot on toast and the excitement in his body language every time he got the ball and had the chance to run at him was fantastic.

Shearer would be next level. All the decent 5-a-side strikers hold the ball up well, bully the defender and smash the ball past the keeper as hard as they can. The game was made for Shearer. Robert would be a laugh to play with as well, scoring screamers from his own half with every touch. ASM would take the piss

I'd love to see what Le Tissier could do in Division 4 of the Leeds Monday 5-a-side league. I imagine he'd take Le Piss!