Holmesy

He's one of the best players of all time. He turned up in the big international tournaments, the Champions League and he royally took the piss domestically. He was unplayable. I know opinions are like arseholes mate, but your arsehole must stink

Lomana Lua Lua

Dortmund might come in for Wood to replace him and we could kickstart our transfer business

Not having that at all. The rest, aye

Sergio Ramos - absolute shit-house clogger playing in soft leagues, with brilliant players around him and given a very long leash by referees because of the teams he played for. He would've been a disaster in the PL

I'm a big fan of the socks down look ala Chris Waddle. Top knots and hair bands are shite though - there's a lad in my gym with quite short curtains and he wears a totally unnecessary shoe lace around his head - looks a total cunt!

Play him at CB - his ability to cushion headers into the keeper's arms is second to none

I would too if i played for Everton

This guy man! I just don't have the words

Teams know how to play against him now - it’s not unusual. We either need to change the system to give him more space or he needs to adapt his game. The problem now is that his game doesn’t rely on pass and move, it relies on him trying to take on everyone and it’s predictable as fuck

Fuck knows but I guarantee whoever it is will be better than Wood.

I wouldn’t even keep Chris Wood as third choice striker next season. Don’t give him a squad number and promote someone from the youth team instead. He’s one of the worst players I’ve seen up front for us.

Lampard too. No mention of it since, funnily enough - it's almost like they know nothing, print shite and then pretend they didn't

And consistently started Ciaran Clark.

I'm still getting used to it - might take another couple of transfer windows until it feels real. I still expect us to discuss all of these exciting names and then sign Jordan Rhodes on a free. On your point about getting rid of players, I think Murphy has put himself well in the shop window for newly promoted teams. There's probably another £8-10m?

Leading by example as always, Steve

Joe Gomez is wasting away at Liverpool. Wouldn't mind us launching a rescue operation for him

He pretty much looks like exactly the same player as Bruno, which i'm stating as a positive not a negative. Technical skill, composure on the ball and a bit of bite in the tackle. Get him signed!!

Yeah, i knew it was one of them.

They talked about it a bit on Talkshite this morning. Gabby Agbonlahor and Ally McCoist asked if EH should be a contender for manager of the year. Agbonlahor dismissed it out of hand funnily enough. Can't remember what McCoist said. Wankers! Lineker said on MOTD that we have accumulated more points since the start of the year than every team barre Man City and hailed the 'astonishing' job EH has done. A bit of coverage but not nearly enough

He did ok in an average and hardly prolific Palace team, he has 1 in 2 for Besiktas, Belgium and the Belgian U21 team and more than 1 in 2 when he played for Dortmund. Nothing in his career has suggested he's the type of character we should be avoiding. However, i'm not suggesting we sign him. I'm just saying there is better value out there than paying £60m for Tammy Abraham and pointed to him as an example. I'm sure there are plenty of others but my knowledge of world football is not what it used to be

If Tammy Abraham is going for £60m we need to be avoiding daft price tags like that and rely on decent scouting to uncover better value players. Batshuayi is on loan is Turkey and is still 28. He'd probably be worth a punt.

Ekitike was going to cost around £20m if rumours are to be believed and a decent PL striker would probably set us back £30m. If we're after a Nunez-level striker you're probably looking at a total outlay of £100m but I doubt we will be. £50m doesn't seem unrealistic considering we paid £30m for Bruno

Hopefully we're looking at one marquee striker signing and another young, up-and-coming striker for a bit of last 20 minute unpredictability. Someone along the lines of Toney/Nunez/Gabigol and then that Ekitike lad (who i've never seen play in my life) would be a good outcome.

Agreed, can't stand the little diving prick. Hope he gets snapped in two