Ben

Gordon will sort it man

Imagine if Bruce did this man

Pedantic cunt

Southampton need 3 goals in 30 seconds and im shitting it.

Get the Maddison bid in

Does he miss the final

I think I've got an ulcer my guts are killing

Could do with a boost here, get Lascelles warming up

Im just a soft shite shitting it.

What lovely thing to do, from a crass club to a class club in a few months...... gerrin

Can we do nowt easy ?

Chilean wine should take the edge off

I'll not be able to sleep for laughing

I'll be back on tackles tonight should be a few flying around

It's obvious they have tried today but just couldn't get one done, nee bother really with Howe and Turkey Teeth coaching we'll be fine

I suppose ASM will cover for Wilson when he gets crocked and Isak can't play, Gordon for Shelvey will do, cover for Tripps, with a bit of luck we should be fine.

Is that us fucked for incomings then ?

Cutting it a bit fine to get Gallagher and Maddison in before the deadline hopefully the wages are already sorted out

West Ham looked awful last night so ponderous

This is a great idea and much fairer than the current FFP rules, stops clubs hording players and having huge wage bills

It must be time for this lad to give up on football management

Just get Maddison man.

Newcastle are signing nobody else this window and you can trust me on that, unless they do in which case I knew about it but didn't want to say out in case it spoilt the deal, either way the club should be thanking me for keeping the fans expectations at bay. Does that mean I work for the English media now.

Gallagher can't be a Dyche pick, in fact if he has £40 million he would probably be one of the last on his list

I'm not sure how the 25 man squad works with home grow players ect, but according to the Premier league website they have 37 players with probably 1 or 2 more coming in, that's a lot of players doing nowt from now till the summer