Abra Dubravka

Manquillo miles away in the distance walking instead of busting a gut to get forward and support an attack

Too fancy and forrin for tallow breath. "The purpose of it was for him to go & play for the season." Alarming to think that Bruce wouldn't guarantee him games if he was fit. Likely that Lejune probably wanted away from Bruce. He had a season with him, and has thought fuck that again and retreated back to Northern Spain. La Liga and the schedule might be better for his fitness/injury management. Can imagine Bruce's fitness coachs/physio might be total cretins, and Alaves probably have better facilities as well!

Brighton are confident they have beaten Newcastle in the race to sign teenage Ecuador midfielder Moises Caicedo, talkSPORT understands. The Seagulls have agreed a deal with Caicedo’s club Independiente del Valle. Caicedo, 19, held talks with Manchester United last month but they decided not to pursue their interest while Newcastle had a late bid to hijack Brighton’s bid rebuffed.

We should just keep buying full backs until we find one impervious to Bruce's crimes against football

Another one of those games where he's lucky no fans are around. Wouldn't have thought he'd get great reception from Sheff United fans. The away end would surely be on his back by now.

Wish I'd have been able to see Ginola play

Leon Best was twice the player. Would expect similar performances from Gouffran now, and he's 34 playing in the Amernian league.

The Joelinton of Spurs

Spurs players seem to be enjoying it. Bale laughing and smiling when he came on, but not coming across big time bastard. Good to see

Wonder if he'll play his dube before the game is out

Don't be daft. All seems double standards to me. Just can't make sense of so many people being allowed in there today, but won't be allowed anywhere near there come next week. Either going to allow people in, or not. Any real need for Jason McAteer and the bird interviewing him to be there? or the hoards of journalists and police? Carragher is allowed in, but a lifetime season ticket holder, and the rest of the plebs not. Obviously Covid can tell if your special and work for the BBC.

Why? A good kick in the bollocks for the maskless crowd gathered outside. Hate to break it to you, but I think they already knew they we're going to lose

Sounds like someones been let loose on a police car siren

Mourinho didn't look too impressed with him smashing it in from the line, and then celebrating

No fans allowed in grounds, but must be more people there than there normally would be on a league match for them. Five coppers just stood around in the corner, tons of journos in the stand behind the goal, Carragher allowed in

Dion Dublin is such a plonker. Going to be a painful listen this

Plenty of stepping-outside-tickets to be dished out there by Merseyside Police

We should all buy dusters and get them sent to the training ground. Shame there's no fans in the ground, we could wave yellow dusters like how Spanish fans wave white handkerchiefs to show they're p*ssed off. Would surely get media attention, and be able to highlight the clichéd bullshit merchant Bruce is. Bound to put Bruce at an awkward disposition in interviews, as he'd have to break a habit of a lifetime and try not to say 'dust off' as well as being on edge about the rest of his tired nonsense he's been saying for last 20 years.

Once saw him appear at grotty nightclub called Bogey's on the Isle of Wight. He's come a long way.

If he's been decent lately then it's only decent by his own standards. He's shown flashes of competence - no more. I'm struggling to think of a worse player who regularly gets a start, Boumsong maybe? Reminds me of Jonas playing on the left for Pardew, but somehow worse. Sucked the life out of every attack because he was playing on the wrong side, and always cut in. No pace, no trick/skill, didn't create anything, didn't score. Safe option constantly or wins a foul. Could see what Bruce wanted to do in the second half on the left side, Dummett shuffles from LCB to LB, Ritchie moves up on the wing, and Joelinton inside to play alongside Carroll - then back into a 541 without the ball. Obviously didn't work because every player mentioned there is awful, as a team we can't keep the ball, and don't create any overloads/positional rotation.

Think we're the team that's most suited for them to get their first win. Despite how shambolic they've been this season, we'll let them play and get into the game. We've no intensity about us at all, we can't keep the ball so won't be able to open them up at all and expose their dire defensive. Gravy Boat will play 5 across the back again, and launch balls up to Wilson all evening that'll make Chris Basham look like VVD. Shelvey will be back in, and Berge/Fleck will run rings around him, with any one of Hendrick/Longstaffs/Hayden next to him chasing shadows and shuffling around 5 seconds behind play. Usual fare from Joelinton, playing like he's on LCD. Two Championship wingers (Ritchie/Murphy) at wing backs. Bruce will probably drop Clark for Arsenal mistake, so can see Hayden having to play back there, with Lascelles back in. Schar dropped. Us not losing will be again down to the usual combination of blind luck, Darlow, and the centre backs getting in the way of everything.

Must be playing that play higher up the pitch tactic

"Ronnie Radford/Hereford" "Magic of the cup isn't dead" something about Gareth Bale having to knock on Mrs. Pervis' door at number 37 to retrieve the ball from her garden at Marine

Don't think Chorley beating Derby's development side isn't that much of a cup-set tbh

'shame there are no fans here' 'fitness is going to start showing'