Ellis H

“A few years ago now, a well known London-based scribe hosted a party. The guest list varied from friends and family to work colleagues and a few folk he knew from the world of football. It was a pretty big house and one room was cornered off to the bemusement of most of the revellers. It transpires that this was the VIP area. At a house party. Alan Pardew then manager of West Ham United, was the only person sitting in it.”

Any ex-footballer or manager with a brain should know that being complementary about your former team and fans is just about the most low effort/high reward thing you can do. You don’t even have to mean it, you just have to say a few bland platitudes and you’ll be forgiven for anything in some people’s eyes.

We desperately need to get the GK/CB right because that’s where we’re failing in the league. Scoring isn’t normally a problem but a better defence could turn some defeats into draws which would have us nearer Arsenal this season. They’ve only won 2 more games than we have (played 1 more) but we’ve lost 9 to their 3. We’ve also conceded more than Everton and Palace. In 22/23 we drew 14 and lost 5 and in 23/24 we drew 6 and lost 14. Currently it’s drawn 5 and lost 9.

The clubs that could afford him had the chance to sign him last summer but they didn’t and not much has changed since. He’ll still be here in September.

Love how his voice breaks when he tries to talk to Shearer at 2:00. Like a lovestruck young boy.

Charge £10 a ticket and sign Yamal with the money.

I’ve been full on mainlining these kind of videos since Sunday. He couldn’t be more likeable.

15k turned up to look at Michael Owen pretending to be happy so this could be in the millions, if not billions.

Doesn’t feel like that long ago where I hated almost everything and everybody to do with this club and was wanting them to lose games because I wanted them all to suffer. It’s not all down to Howe, but he’s the ongoing catalyst that Keegan was in 1992. It’s a complete 180 in terms of culture and expectations which shows what we could have possibly been doing for the last 20 years if the club had chosen to and yes, it was a choice. Days like yesterday were always possible but we had people actively deciding against it and openly saying having ambition is too risky. “Thank God we’re not in Europe again”.

You can see how they’d be in big trouble next year if Salah, Trent and Van Dijk all leave. They’d be going for free as well so no money coming in to replace them.

One recurring theme in the behind the scenes type videos is that he’s an absolute nightmare but in a lovable young brother way.

The Conference is the one West Ham won while finishing 14th and Chelsea are the big favourites this year despite mostly playing a second string team. Should be an easy way to never have to mention the Fairs Cup win again.

Can picture Guehi carving religious graffiti onto the trophy with a penknife. Weird how he hasn’t written anything on his captains armband since.

Newcastle-Brentford Leicester-Newcastle Newcastle-Man Utd Newcastle-Crystal Palace Aston Villa-Newcastle Newcastle-Ipswich Brighton-Newcastle Newcastle-Chelsea Arsenal-Newcastle Newcastle-Everton The fixtures are certainly there for 4th/5th. Plenty of teams will be on the beach or playing for nothing.

Hope we continue with that corner routine. Even if he gets fully marked it’ll leave room for others. He also scored a header for Yeovil in a playoff game at Wembley years ago. Must mean he’s scoring for England next week.

Keegan entirely regenerating the club from almost bottom of division 1 to being 12 points clear in the PL in only a few years is so hard to beat as an achievement but I think Howe will smash Keegan to bits long term. He’s certainly standing on the shoulders of Keegan though and we can’t forget it.

He’s just done something every single one of us have dreamt of, scoring a winner for Newcastle in a cup final. I hope he fully understands what that means.

Chelsea played Servette at the end of August in the playoffs this season. I assume that’s a fairly close comparison.

Looking at the current state of the Conference League, if we get the summer recruitment right we’re definitely winning that next year (should we not get CL). I haven’t even heard of 2 of the 8 teams in the quarter finals.

He lost at home to Leyton Orient yesterday. I can’t quite remember what we did this weekend.

ONLY assisted the winning goal in a cup final, needs to be sold in the summer etc. Isak owes his career to this man.

Dan Ashworth wanted rid of him btw. Never forget.

Do we need a thread of us having to prove we aren’t glory supporters now? If you can’t provide a picture of you in the 90’s wearing a Newcastle shirt you get shunned.

He’s crying in his Sky interview. What a bargain he’s turned out to be.