TaylorJ_01 Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 pigs should just f*** off to be honest though. yes they are definitely more likely to be in the wrong Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
nuneaton Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 pigs should just f*** off to be honest though. yes they are definitely more likely to be in the wrong yep. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cajun Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 Pigs Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jill Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 Pigs So cringeworthy. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hanshithispantz Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 Lawless Britain Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
nuneaton Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 paramilitary bullies with big toys Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hanshithispantz Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 I've had a couple of shocking experiences with the police like but they're not all nobs, and are sort of an necessity Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
broonalegeordie Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 Aye, sort of! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
nuneaton Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 wouldnt notice a burglar if one dropped out of the sky and landed on the bonnet of their car, but they can spot black men driving 4x4s Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bimpy474 Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 Check this out guys, this the best ever sarcastic e-mail to the police i think i've ever read. This is just simply brilliant. 1.. THE COMPLAINT Dear Sir/madam/ automated telephone answering service Having spent the past twenty minutes waiting for someone at Leith police station to pick up a telephone I have decided to abandon the idea and try emailing you instead. Perhaps you would be so kind as to pass this on to your colleagues in Leith by means of smoke signal, carrier pigeon or ouija board. As I'm writing this e-mail there are eleven failed medical experiments (I think you call them youths) in West Cromwell Street which is just off Commercial Street in Leith. Six of them seem happy enough to play a game which involves kicking a football against an iron gate with the force of a meteorite. This causes an earth shattering CLANG! which rings throughout the entire building. This game is now in its third week and as I am unsure how the scoring sytem works, I have no idea if it will end any time soon. The remaining five walking abortions are happily rummaging through several bags of rubbish and items of furniture that someone has so thoughtfully dumped beside the wheelie bins. One of them has found a saw and is setting about a discarded chair like a beaver on speed. I fear that it's only a matter of time before they turn their limited attention to the bottle of calor gas between the two bins. If they could be relied on to only blow their own arms and legs off then I would happily leave them to it. I would even go so far as to lend them the matches. Unfortunately they are far more likely to blow up half the street with them and I've just finished decorating the kitchen. What I suggest is this. After replying to this email with worthless assurances that the matter is being looked into and will be dealt with, why not leave it until the one night of the year (probably bath night) when there are no mutants around then drive up the street in a panda car before doing a three-point turn and disappearing again. This will of course serve no other purpose than to remind us what policemen actually look like. I trust that when I take a clawhammer to the skull of one of these throwbacks you'll do me the same courtesy of giving me a four-month head start before coming to arrest me. I remain sir, your obedient servant, Mr X 2.. THE REPLY Dear Mr X, I have read your email and understand your frustration at the problems caused by youth playing in the area and the problems you encountered in trying to contact the police. As the Community Beat Officer for your street I would like to extend an offer of discussing the matter fully with you. Should you wish to discuss the matter, please provide contact details (address/telephone number) and when may be suitable. Regards, PC Y Community Beat Officer 3.. THE REACTION Dear PC Y First of all I would like to thank you for the speedy response to my original email. 16 hours and 38 minutes must be a personal record for Leith Police station and rest assured that I will forward these details to Norris McWhirter for inclusion in his next book. Secondly I was delighted to hear that our street has its own communitybeat officer. May I be the first to congratulate you on your covert skills. In the five or so years I have lived in West Cromwell Street, I have never seen you. Do you hide up a tree or have you gone deep undercover and infiltrated the gang itself? Are you the one with the acne and the moustache on his forehead or the one with achin like a wash hand basin? It's surely only a matter of time before you are headhunted by MI5. Whilst I realise that there may be far more serious crimes taking place in Leith such as smoking in a public place or being Muslim without due care and attention, is it too much to ask for a policeman to explain (using words of no more than two syllables at a time) to these t***s that they might want to play their strange football game elsewhere. The pitch behind the Citadel or the one at DKs are both within spitting distance as is the bottom of the Albert Dock. Should you wish to discuss these you should feel free to contact me. If after 25 minutes I have still failed to answer, I'll buy you a large one in the Compass Bar. Regards Mr X P.S If you think that this is sarcasm, think yourself lucky that you don't work for the cleansing department. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest BooBoo Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 How do we know he hadn't committed a driving offence? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stifler Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 So he see's a police car behind him flashing his lights maybe at him maybe not instead of pulling to the side he decides to get out his phone, take a picture and then tweet it. Fucking cunt. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest BooBoo Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 Using a mobile phone whilst driving summons methinks. Lolza. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
nuneaton Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 how do we know he wasnt stationary? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TaylorJ_01 Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 Can't they just jail him? He causes enough trouble. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dinho lad Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 solitary confinement for the rest of his life would be better. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TaylorJ_01 Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 I seen you post that in the wrong thread before you deleted it. You can't escape. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dinho lad Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 I seen you post that in the wrong thread before you deleted it. You can't escape. You're quicker than your average Scottish striker, aren't ya?!! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
JH Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 wouldnt notice a burglar if one dropped out of the sky and landed on the bonnet of their car, but they can spot black men driving 4x4s Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doug Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 wouldnt notice a burglar if one dropped out of the sky and landed on the bonnet of their car, but they can spot black men driving 4x4s Agree with the burglar bit. they really are pretty useless. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueStar Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 Never stops banging on about God this lad, wonder when he's going to give all his money to the poor like Jesus suggested. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cajun Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 wouldnt notice a burglar if one dropped out of the sky and landed on the bonnet of their car, but they can spot black men driving 4x4s Yep definitely because he is black and nothing to do with him driving like an idiot. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
nuneaton Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 i would absolutely trust nile ranger more than the pigs Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest neesy111 Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 i would absolutely trust nile ranger more than the pigs Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cajun Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 i would absolutely trust nile ranger more than the pigs Ok I think I have been whooshed Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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