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Guest black n white

Arse to Arses

Ass to ?

What is the plural of Ass?

 

;D same as my line of thinking

 

op...just read shay's press releases for the last two years

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OK, I'll give it a go:

 

Given - top quality, it's a miracle a club in our situation has a keeper anywhere near this good

Harper - more than adequate standby for the next year or two at least

 

Beye - wish we had got him a few years earlier, absolute quality IMO

Bassong - came out of nowhere and has done a brilliant job

Taylor - not really good enough for where we want to be, but not a priority to replace

Collocini - top class, but how long can we hold onto him?

Enrique - a mystery to me why he hasn't played every game since he was purchased, we should be helping him to develop

Edgar - haven't seen enough to judge

Cacapa - seems to offer nothing to the squad

 

Duff - I dunno, he always looks like he's about to do something, but it never happens like it used to

N'Zogbia - Wish we hadn't signed Duff when he was at the top of his game, we fucked up and will now lose Zoggy (and the player he could have been)

Guthrie - Like him a lot, but he needs a real enforcer alongside him

Butt - Experienced but that seems his only attribute, maybe he should be coaching not playing

Gutierrez - Love the guy, works hard, does a few good things and has a hilarious running style

Barton - I don't know what he might be able to do if he could get a run of games together. Once opon a time he was exactly the player we needed

Geremi - One of the players I have a soft spot for, but his legs have gone. One player like this we could carry, not a whole midfield of them

Smith - Again, maybe many years ago he might have been a player we could use. Now we just need to get him of the wage bill and forget it ever happened

 

Viduka - If this was 2002 he would the man for us

Martins - Essential to the team, for me should always play when fit

Owen - This lad should not even be thinking about letting his contract run down, he owes us big time. Still feels like he hasn't got started! Will be gone in summer.

Carroll - Showing his potential, wouldn't be too bothered about partnering him with Martins, or as the point of a 4-3-3

Ameobi - Does almost enough to keep getting new contracts, but he isn't any use for us except if we go down

Xisco - Why didn't we give him a chance? Maybe just unlucky with the timing of his arrival

 

Kinnear - No idea, if we stay up he should be given a bit of a credit and moved on. To be thinking of offering him a long-term deal is mental

 

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Squad members good enough for top ten (individual quality):

 

Shay Given - top quality keeper

Steve Harper - very good keeper

 

Habib Beye - class full-back, assured figure, decent defender, decent attacker

Jose Enrique - has his moments but he's fairly assured from a defensive point of vie

Fabricio Coloccini - has his moments but excellent aerially and positionally

Sebastien Bassong - top quality centre-back

 

Jonas Gutierrez - top quality winger

Danny Guthrie - decent player

Joey Barton - decent player

 

Michael Owen - top quality striker, average finisher but brilliant instincts

Obafemi Martins - top quality striker, imperative figure in the team

Mark Viduka - top quality striker, but a total crock - if he was fit he'd be a great asset, but meh

Nile Ranger

 

Squad members not good enough for top ten (individual quality):

 

David Edgar - shit, Championship standard if that

Claudio Caçapa - was good, now shit

Steven Taylor - crap, barely good enough for this league

 

Damien Duff - shit, can't beat a man, can't cross, and can't shoot

Charles N'Zogbia - i like him a lot but tbh he flatters to deceive nowadays, better than Duff but a liability

Nicky Butt - shit

Geremi - i like him aswell, and he'd probably pass if the rest of the midfield were decent, liability though

Alan Smith - shit

 

Shola Ameobi - shit

Xisco - he might be good, but given the treatment he has had we cannot rely on him at all

 

Joe Kinnear - shit, totally inept manager, embarrassing behavior and no tactical nouse

 

---

 

If you imagine we have a good manager; say that Keegan/Ashley feud had never reached boiling point and everything was alright. I'd say we'd be around 7th or 8th. Then, all the first team would require to make it officially sorta 'top 6 standard' is a right-winger and a centre-midfielder. Jose can be a bit naff but in a good team, he's a very good player, as we saw last season.

 

The squad's thin but it isn't the main problem. It isn't the reason why we're down here.

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JFK

 

He told the Chronicle: “It would be a nightmare if Habib was out for the rest of the season.

“We just have to wait and see.

 

He told me he'd be out for 2 months when i spoke to him (Beye) on Jan 4th.

 

no ashley told me different when i asked him on Jan 6th

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Guest Alan Shearer 9

Squad members good enough for top ten (individual quality):

 

Sebastien Bassong - top quality centre-back - disagree he's very raw and while he's been promising by our standards, I think he be at the very bottom end of a top ten first team player

 

Jonas Gutierrez - top quality winger - no, Robert was a top quality winger who provided goals and assists. Solano was also much more productive than Gutierrez. Jonas is decent, but not top quality, sorry to be so pedantic but that's my opinion.

 

Danny Guthrie - decent player - I like Guthrie but he'd be a squad player in a better team and needs a couple of years before I see him as a quality first teamer.

 

Mark Viduka - Couldn't see any good premiership team buying Viduka at this stage of his career. He's finished.

 

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Using Ian W's format for this...

 

Given - I love watching him play.  He's talented and passionate and has good reason to be frustrated.

Harper - good deputy

 

Beye - quiet, consistent, professional player.  An asset to any squad

Bassong - Looks to able to form a solid pairing with Colo

Taylor - I want to see more of him at RB while Beye is out.  It may untimately turn out to be his best position

Collocini - I think he's still adjusting to the league can be the foundation for the back for in time

Enrique -  I still don't know what to make of him

Edgar - may develop into adequate cover

Cacapa - he should have been sold instead of Faye

 

Duff - too much a wage bill for too little an end product

N'Zogbia - All I see is a guy who dribbles with his head down so he has little awareness of where his teammates are around him.

Guthrie - Would love to see him in the holding role alongside another really creative CM.  could develop into a very nice player

Butt - Past it

Gutierrez - I think he's the only player with any creativity on the squad.  Love to watch him play and dream of what he can be with more talent around him

Barton - Our best holding MF right now.  Still has questions surrounding his character

Geremi - Consummate teammate, I'll bet, but yeah his legs are gone

Smith - Don't think he offers the club anything, ATM

 

Viduka - He's a tease

Martins - he's a wild card.  has tremendous physical skills if not technical skills.  best paired with a technically sound bigger forward

Owen - Bye bye

Carroll - I like what I've seen but can he do it consistently?

Ameobi - Rotation player

Xisco - Don't know why JFK has buried him.  get this lad on the pitch.

 

Kinnear - Caretaker, not a permanent solution.

 

It's incredibly difficult to evaluate this squad as a team because they never get to play together for an extended period of time

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Given, Harper, Beye, Coloccini, Bassong, Taylor, Enrique, Jonas, Guthrie, Barton, N'Zogbia, Martins and Owen are the only players that I'd consider as having enough quality to be involved with us IF we were somehow able to keep them all/offload the others and have enough cash around to bulk the rest of the squad up so that there were 2 players "competing" for each position (RB, LB, CB, RM, LM, CM x2, CF x2 needed.)

 

In fantasy land, basically...

 

Outside of that I'd be happy to see us retain Krul, Edgar, Lua Lua and Carroll for "spare" players in each position.

 

Cacapa and Smith are two I'd love us to get rid of, ASAP, and I also wouldn't be too upset at losing all the others not mentioned (Duff, Butt, Geremi, Viduka, Ameobi and Xisco - although I don't think any of these are completely without use as squad players, but you surely cannot justify the wages of the likes of Duff, Butt, Geremi and Viduka in that case.)

 

Seems a dream-world at the minute to expect anything like this. If anything we'll be retaining the players I consider expendable and expending the players I consider retainable. Such is life and all that.

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Guest Stephen927

Given - Top quality, shame we're not in the position to keep him happy.

Harper - Excellent back-up, if Given were to go I'd be happy for him to make the step up.

 

Beye - I only wish we had brought him over here 5 years ago.

Bassong - A revelation, put in some very good shifts.

Taylor - Always looks like dropping a clanger, but in our position we can't afford better back-up than him.

Coloccini - Hasn't always looked assured but he's building a good partnership with Bassong

Enrique -  Decent enough but his passing ability is a bit suspect.

Edgar - Can't see him having a future here. Championship/League One standard.

Cacapa - Looked like he'd be a good bit of business for Sam but hasn't adapted to the Prem at all.

 

Duff - We quite simply need this guy off the wage bill.

N'Zogbia - Needs something to add to all the running down blind alleyways he does.

Guthrie - Tidy, can see him developing into a good player, if unspectacular player.

Butt - Back-up at best. Should have been shifted last summer.

Gutierrez - Full of running, genuinely looks like he loves playing for NUFC. Needs to start crossing the ball more often.

Barton - We need him in the team ASAP.

Geremi - Legs have gone. All but finished at this level.

Smith - We're not getting much bang for our buck with this lad.

 

Viduka - Finished.

Martins - Not convinced he can play with Owen. Loads of pace but almost never uses it to great effect.

Owen - The difference between relegation and staying in this league. Off in the summer.

Carroll - Hope he keeps doing what he's doing, looks to have decent potential.

Ameobi - Decent back-up, nothing more.

Xisco - Find it hard to make a judgement.

 

Kinnear - Hope he isn't here long-term.

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Rating our individuals is fucking pointless when you consider that they don't play as a team. Bassong and Coloccini pisses on O'Brien and Bramble but which two helped take this club into the Champions League?

 

It's about the bigger picture and squad balance rather than who is 'better'. We need a good manager before we worry about the strengths of our individual players.

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Squad members good enough for top ten (individual quality):

 

Sebastien Bassong - top quality centre-back - disagree he's very raw and while he's been promising by our standards, I think he be at the very bottom end of a top ten first team player

 

Jonas Gutierrez - top quality winger - no, Robert was a top quality winger who provided goals and assists. Solano was also much more productive than Gutierrez. Jonas is decent, but not top quality, sorry to be so pedantic but that's my opinion.

 

Danny Guthrie - decent player - I like Guthrie but he'd be a squad player in a better team and needs a couple of years before I see him as a quality first teamer.

 

Mark Viduka - Couldn't see any good premiership team buying Viduka at this stage of his career. He's finished.

 

 

Agree on Jonas. Also on Bassong to an extent but i'm yet to see the guy play badly, many games of which have been almost flawless. He probably won't turn into the next John Terry but as things stand he looks pretty good.

 

Guthrie and Viduka i still stand by.

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Rating our individuals is fucking pointless when you consider that they don't play as a team. Bassong and Coloccini pisses on O'Brien and Bramble but which two helped take this club into the Champions League?

 

It's about the bigger picture and squad balance rather than who is 'better'. We need a good manager before we worry about the strengths of our individual players.

 

Spot on! All we need is a good manager to pull this all together, its the thing im worried most about becasue i dont think Ashley et al have the brains to go for the best man they can get.

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We have enough bodies, what we don't have is enough quality or cover in certain positions.

 

I appreciate it's a big "if", but if everyone was fit look at our forwards and consider how much they cost and are still costing us:

 

Owen, Martins, Ameobi, Xisco, Smith, Viduka, Carroll

 

And compare those 7 players with what the top-4 have...

 

ManU:

Berbatov, Rooney, Tevez

 

Or Liverpool:

keane, Torres, Kuyt, N'Gog

 

Or Chelsea:

Drogba, Anelka, Di Santo

 

Or Villa:

Agbonlahor, Carew, Harewood

 

 

And yet for whatever reason we still struggle to field a forward line while they seem to have selection dilemmas.  The waste here is frightening.

 

 

 

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