maze Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 Alright, here we go. Thanks to Sparta and Kaizero for the many Ameobi lines to start this thread off May this thread get bigger than both Chuck Norris and Shola Ameobi..... wait... is that even possible? There are no races, only countries of people Ameobi has beaten to different shades of black and white. Ameobi is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head. Ameobi destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise. There is no 'ctrl' button on Ameobi's computer. Ameobi is always in control. Ameobi eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow. Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Ameobi to go around. When Ameobi plays Monoploy, it effects the actual world economy. Ameobi is responsible for China's over-population. He won a Football tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly. Scotty in Star Trek often says “Ye cannae change the laws of physics.” This is untrue. Ameobi can change the laws of physics. With his feet. Once you go Ameobi, you are physically unable to go back. Ameobi cannot love, he can only score goals. According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Ameobi can actually score goals for you yesterday. If at first you don't succeed, you're not Ameobi. The active ingredient in Red Bull is Ameobi's sweat. Most boots are made for walkin'. Ameobi's boots ain't that merciful. Cars were invented to flee from Ameobi. Not to be outdone, Ameobi invented the car accident. Ameobi does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls. Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Ameobi's first visit to Tokyo. Ameobi built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Ameobi met all three bullets with his Right foot, scoring 3 perfect hits. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement. There are no such things as Lesbians, just women who haven't met Ameobi. 70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Ameobi's weight is his dick. When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Ameobi. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparta Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 :mackems: The square root of Ameobi is football. Do not try to square Ameobi, the result is hattrick. In the Words of Julius Caesar, "Veni, Vidi, Ameobi". Translation: I came, I saw, and Ameobi scored a hattrick on me. Love does not hurt. Ameobi does. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaizero Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 Ameobi sperm can be seen with the naked eye. Each one is the size of a football. When a keeper meets Ameobi, he starts shouting and hopes Ameobi will go away by himself. If not, he lies down in the fetal position with his hands over his head and plays dead. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bowie Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 When Shola rides that bike, earth spins round. Mint thread. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaizero Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 One time, Ameobi was tackled hard by a player. After ten minutes of excruciating pain, that player died. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparta Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet where Ameobi can score a hattrick on them Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
maze Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 Michael Owen is made of glass, Ameobi is made of class Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaizero Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 Ameobi Sings: What is love Oh fans, don't hurt me Don't hurt me, no more Oh fans, don't hurt me Don't hurt me, no more What is love Yeah Oh I don't know why you're not there I give you my goals but you don't care So what is right, and what is wrong Gimme a sign What is love Yeah What is love Oh fans, don't hurt me Don't hurt me no more What is love Oh, fans don't hurt me Don't hurt me no more Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh Oh I don''t know, what I can do How many goals I can score, it's up to you I know I'm good, me and you I can score more What is love Oh fans, don't hurt me Don't hurt me no more What is love Oh fans, don't hurt me Don't hurt me no more Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh What is love, oooh, oooh, oooh What is love, oooh, oooh, oooh What is love Oh fans, don't hurt me Don't hurt me no more Don't hurt me Don't hurt me I want no other, no other team This is my team, your team When we are together, I need you forever Is it love What is love Oh fans, don't hurt me Don't hurt me no more What is love Oh fans, don't hurt me Don't hurt me no more (oooh, oooh) What is love Oh fans, don't hurt me Don't hurt me no more What is love Oh fans, don't hurt me Don't hurt me no more (oooh, oooh) What is love? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ronaldo Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 Ameobi is the only man alive who can slam a revolving door Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
LiquidAK Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 There are no 0-0 draws, just nets that Ameobi has mercifully left in tact. Ameobi is the reason Ronaldo moved to Madrid, he knew he could never look good in the same country. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
kane2005 Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 Thats what he has to sholambias and ashley !! You can make more than £1mil on him !! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
thomas Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 Ameobi is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry - the man ate a fucking Jeep. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stu Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 Thats what he has to sholambias and ashley !! You can make more than £1mil on him !! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ObiChrisKenobi Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 Soccer AM's new feature has been announced: Shola Boating. Showing all the amazing Show Boats of the World's most skillful Footballer, Shola Ameobi. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooj Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 The text below my avatar is inspired by such things. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NG32 Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 The new Joint Strike Fighter was actually modeled off Sholas Physique and his ability to take off virtically. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest frazernufc Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 Ameobi once went to the Virgin Islands, now its The Islands Ameobi CAN believe it's not butter Ameobi puts the "laughter" in "slaughter" Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NG32 Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 Ameobi beat God at a game of Battleships. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
AfroP Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 Apple pays Shola 99p everytime he listens to a song Shola, can sneeze with his eyes open. If you have £5 and Shola has £5, Shola has more money than you. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks under his bed for shola Shola once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it. Shola ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one Shola does'nt believe in germany Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
QBG Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 This thread man. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElDiablo Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 Shola ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NG32 Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 When shola plays chess the white pieces all commit suicide. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Libertine Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 shola ameobi got a 3 year contract despite doing nothing for the last 9 years. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NG32 Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 shola ameobi got a 3 year contract despite doing nothing for the last 9 years. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Snrub Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 There are no such thing as lesbians, just girls that have not yet met Shola Ameobi. Shola Ameobi is the reason why Wally is hiding. Shola Ameobi won a game of connect 4 in 3 moves. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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