Your worst footballing moment...

[Shak]

We've had the "I'm class me, like!!" threads, now it's time to recall those moments in your footballing career where you completely let yourself down to the point you just wanted a nice bath and a shiny new toaster so you could end it all.

 

Two stick out for me.

 

First was just in a kick about on our local green. We were playing against another estate, I'd have been maybe 14 or so. Some of the older kids in the estate were messing about behind one of the goals, kept heckling us and even interfering with the game. I was getting fairly annoyed because the game was close. Anyway, beat a couple of defenders and got in one on one with the keeper. He came rushing out and I "sent him to fucking Alaska" (© johnnypd) with a shimmy and had a wide open goal to just roll it into. One of the older lads was standing just behind the goal, shouting "Miss!! Miss!!" at me so I decide I'm gonna smack the ball at him while scoring.

 

So from maybe ten yards out I send the ball an absolute mile over the bar and into the neighboring field... absolute humiliation.

 

Another was when I was playing keeper for the school team. We came up against a team that was clearly miles better than us in the cup. They were all over us pretty much from start to finish, one of our lads scored a rocket from 25 yards in what was our only 'chance' of the match. They got an equaliser just before half time but the second half they just couldn't score. I played the game of my life, made half a dozen brilliant saves and claimed cross after cross without making a single mistake. Then with about two minutes left we have a goal kick. I run up to take it and just as I'm about to strike it I lose my footing and scuff it forward about 25 yards. Their striker runs on to it, I'm back to my feet and rush out to face him. He shoots and I save it, but the rebound falls straight to another one of their lads and he rolls it home. I was lying on the ground from the original save and I just remember how slowly it seemed to roll across the line and into the net. Actually started headbutting the ground, was that gutted.

[Lenny]

Put an effort out for a throw in in my cup final when it was 0-0 against the league winners the other week. I was pretty much on the corner of the 6 yard box, unmarked, clean through, tried to smash it, absolutely shanked it!

 

There are worse moments, but that one's recent.

[Dokko]

Probably the first time i ever reffed. It was in high school, and was only for about 10mins but straight away a foul happened and it was against one of the players whose team i was just on, not being a ref before i pointed to award a freekick for my team mates, not the direction of the game so it went against them, everyone was kicking off, teacher just laughed and said its up to him, i was so embarrassed i just stuck with my decision not to make a bigger fool of myself.

 

Even now it haunts me, everytime i see a ref pointing it brings memories back and i have to pause to see which way the freekick has been awarded, its like a total mental block, its fuked me up for life!

[Guest BooBoo]

Playing eleven a side and on the back post defending a corner. Ball swung in towards me, hit my face and bobbled in for an OG. Red faced for more than one reason.

[The Prophet]

Was playing in daft park match, about fifteen a side. Was coming back form a corner when their keeper kicked it to the defence, I chased it and they dropped a complete howler which let me in with an open goal. I scuffed it wide and turned round only to find no one had chased me, I could of just walked it in.

 

Also was playing centre back one match we got absolutely hammered. About five of their goals deflected in off my last ditch challanges, unlucky but still not nice.

[Keefaz]

Probably the first time i ever reffed. It was in high school, and was only for about 10mins but straight away a foul happened and it was against one of the players whose team i was just on, not being a ref before i pointed to award a freekick for my team mates, not the direction of the game so it went against them, everyone was kicking off, teacher just laughed and said its up to him, i was so embarrassed i just stuck with my decision not to make a bigger fool of myself.

 

Even now it haunts me, everytime i see a ref pointing it brings memories back and i have to pause to see which way the freekick has been awarded, its like a total mental block, its fuked me up for life!

 

Similar thing happened to me when I was umpiring a cricket match at square-leg at school. I got distracted by a fucking wasp or something. Next thing I know, they're appealing for LBW. Obviously, I had no idea what happened so I gave him out, because their appeal was so raucous. Of course, he wasn't even close to being out and I got absolutely ripped into for days. Petty fuckers.

[Foluwashola]

It was a crisp winter day, the sun, she shone so bright.

 

Went to block a shot, a Robert/Bernard moment commenced. Ball blasted off my face at a rate of knots, blood covered my garments and got taken off at half time as the flow didn't stop.

[Guest BooBoo]

Did that moment inspire your avatar?

[Allmo]

An over hit pass back to the keeper that ended up getting slammed into the top right of the goal. To this day I just don't know how/why I hit the ball so hard.

[Foluwashola]

Did that moment inspire your avatar?

 

I was not as happy as Terry Butcher seemingly was.

[Newcastle Fan]

I've got many, i used to play as Striker for my local football club but was also the school captain playing as a fucking center half.. here are some:

 

At one game i came off the bench just to mark a player who was a threat to us, we were 1-0 up, i ended up missing a ball that went to the same player i was marking got it and went one on one with the keeper and scored, almost got dropped out from the team all togther after this one!

 

At another game i somehow managed to score two own goals, and when playing as a striker i once missed from one yard, still beyond me how this happend.

 

Ironicly that same year i finished top goalscorer and my school team finished runners up in a 16 teams tournment.

 

 

[MW]

Probably my last game in year 10 at school, our last game as a year group before joining years 12/13 when we're in year 11. We were away and 1 nil down. I needed one more for 20 goals that season. Had a chance late on, about the penalty spot, loads of there players throwing their bodies at the ball, kept having to fake shot and cut back, eventually i let loose and it crashed the underside of the bar, we lost that game 

 

Apart from that, got sent off a few times when i was a mouthy, dirty little shite, but none of them im too fussed about, that miss ^ hurt

[madras]

finding out the ref had deleiberatly cheated us out of a game of 5-a-side at the eldon square. fair do's to the opposition (his mates) for telling us and they were honestly as pissed off with him as we were. never the same though after that, we jacked in not long after.

[Guest firetotheworks]

May as well get this merged into it. If you would, mods.

 

http://www.newcastle-online.org/nufcforum/index.php/topic,69622.0.html

[Neil]

Year 6 Cup Final when I scored from an impossible angle into our own goal to round off a humiliating 4-1 home defeat. I was a broken 11 year old.

[Guest Brazilianbob]

More years ago than I care to remember, I was playing in a 5 a side match at Wallsend Boys club when one of the opposition teed up the ball for their last man to run the length of the pitch to blast a shot at our goal, I couldn't get to the ball so stuck a leg out to block the shot.  The problem was the lad completely missed the ball and kicked my foot instead!  The result was a broken foot that went up like a balloon even as I looked at it when I took off my trainer!  Ouch!  It still aches on cold days even now! 

[johnnypd]

playing pairs on the windy fields in winlaton, dribbled through everyone, bared down on an open goal, only to feel my legs taken from underneath me as im about to pass it into the goal. got up, grabbed the ball, everyone watching from the sideline is laughing, as am I, cos i'm thinking it must be the most blatant foul ever. "So, pen or freekick then?" I ask, and everyone looks at me blankly. "No foul," my mate says "you just fell over."

 

i still reckon someone got in a cheeky trip while no one was looking. 

[henke]

Losing our county cup semi final as a 16 year old, on penalties too.

 

Or seeing my mates knee come apart and the top half of his leg briefly "overlap" the bottom half. I was literally histerical and he still winds me up to this day, 17 years later, about laughing at him.

[Guest diddimz]

Playing youth for one of the clubs in our country's top flight. I had been scoring for fun in the first few weeks of the season, and so a few of the senior coaches had come to watch me play a game. Was doing well, had knocked in 2 in the first half, both times picking the ball up at half way and beating the defenders and keeper. Things were looking good, 2-0 up at half time, senior coach had congratulated me on playing well. My coach told me to keep going the way I was.

 

5 minutes into the second half i chipped the first defended and rounded him. As i take my first step past him, I feel my knee collapse as his two feet came crashing through, my entire body gave way and I went down like a sack of bricks. I couldn't get back onto my feet, and had to be stretchered off instead. With no subs left to use by this point, the team playing a man down. I begged the coach to send me back on, in hindsight is the worst decision I've ever made. My knee collapsed again 2 minutes from the end, unable to support the stress of me playing a very running game. If I had rested it after that tackle, given it time to heal, I think things would be very different. As it turns out, I still limp and have pains walking on it half a decade later, and haven't even been able to play a game now for 18months.

[Mowen]

Probably when a keeper clattered into me above the knee last season...unbelievably walked away (I say that...couldn't walk for two weeks) but everyone around me thought he'd snapped my leg. Horrific pain. The worst part is I didn't even score.

 

edit: just read the post above mine. this is a shit, irrelevant story.

[Yorkie]

The last NOFC match probably (think it was the last one anyway, v Kidderminster). Just got raped an absolute new one by their left-winger, we were 2-0 down within ten - both coming from their left wing, gutting. I haven't made an audible fart since.

[Guest ObiChrisKenobi]

The day I was played at Left Back by the late Derek Clough of Longbenton Juniors. First time I had ever played there, I may as well have just left my boots on the field and observed the game. I was shocking.

 

On the flipside I have fond memories of playing in a Tournament in Blackpool for Longbenton Juniors and getting my head kicked during a 50/50  I was running to get a bouncing ball, it was just above chest height, so I ducked my head down to head it on, the defender was rushing in next think I know I'm on the ground. I thought I had clashed heads with the defender, so I turn and face the kid and ask if he's OK. He looks at me and points to me head, didn't really hear what he said.

I stood back up and try to continue playing, when the ref comes over. I'm a bit confused and thought he was trying to send me off, so I'm trying to plead my innocence to him that I was only going for the ball.

 

Next thing I know my right eyes stinging as blood is dropping down my face. Quick trip to Blackpool A&E and a glue job later, I'm back on the field with bandage on the head. We were knocked out in the Semi's on Pens

[madras]

The last NOFC match probably (think it was the last one anyway, v Kidderminster). Just got raped an absolute new one by their left-winger, we were 2-0 down within ten - both coming from their left wing, gutting. I haven't made an audible fart since.

absolutly brilliant turn of phrase.

[The Prophet]

Did a Rob Green today, we lost by a single goal. Didn't help that I'd just been smashed in the face like.

[JH]

Was once playing in goal back at school. It was winter and so the ground was all uneven and muddy, but fucking hard. The ball came back to me and, deciding to waste time, I decided to wait as it slowly rolled to my feet and into my arms.

 

When it got within about a metre, it bobbled up and quickening pace, rolled past me. As I turned to grab and stop it, I slipped and fell flat on my arse as the ball rolled over the line and into the net.