Gary Speed (1969–2011)

[Ketsbaia]

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3966225/Gary-didnt-argue-with-wife-he-wasnt-depressed.html

 

His agent says Speed didn't suffer from depression, although maybe he's hidden it incredibly well.

 

Theres also his last pictures, that were taken on Saturday outside BBC studios

[Mr. Snrub]

http://img254.imageshack.us/img254/3103/39442903.jpg

 

Sorry, but that's hilarious.

[Guest n4e]

Not the place for laughs, Messi.

[alpal78]

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3966225/Gary-didnt-argue-with-wife-he-wasnt-depressed.html

 

His agent says Speed didn't suffer from depression, although maybe he's hidden it incredibly well.

 

Theres also his last pictures, that were taken on Saturday outside BBC studios

 

Might have been posted before from Sheraer http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/sport/football/3965783/Gary-Speed-news-Alan-Shearer-opens-his-heart.html?OTC-RSS&ATTR=Football

 

I refused to believe that he took his own life. I know there are people saying that people who are depressed don't show it sometimes, whilst maybe you can hide the depression, but to me it is just impossible that someone who could be laughing and making plans for next week for next year could take his own life within 12 hours, unless something horribly wrong happened and Speed was a clean man by all accounts. Maybe others find it easy to just rationalized the incomprehensible that way...he took his life because he was depressed and we can't understand it because we didn't go through what he did. No f***ing way, taking your life is no easy decision, it's not something you do in a flash, there must have been some thought process, some deliberation involved.

 

I wish the police would not just wash their hands off and say nothing is suspicious, how do you know if you don't fucking launch a full investigation?! It's a cop out to accept his death so easily. Maybe I just can't accept that one of my heroes took his own life, but I'm convinced he was murdered and then the f***er disguised it as suicide.

[Guest Shaun]

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3966225/Gary-didnt-argue-with-wife-he-wasnt-depressed.html

 

His agent says Speed didn't suffer from depression, although maybe he's hidden it incredibly well.

 

Theres also his last pictures, that were taken on Saturday outside BBC studios

 

Might have been posted before from Sheraer http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/sport/football/3965783/Gary-Speed-news-Alan-Shearer-opens-his-heart.html?OTC-RSS&ATTR=Football

 

I refused to believe that he took his own life. I know there are people saying that people who are depressed don't show it sometimes, whilst maybe you can hide the depression, but to me it is just impossible that someone who could be laughing and making plans for next week for next year could take his own life within 12 hours, unless something horribly wrong happened and Speed was a clean man by all accounts. Maybe others find it easy to just rationalized the incomprehensible that way...he took his life because he was depressed and we can't understand it because we didn't go through what he did. No f***ing way, taking your life is no easy decision, it's not something you do in a flash, there must have been some thought process, some deliberation involved.

 

I wish the police would not just wash their hands off and say nothing is suspicious, how do you know if you don't fucking launch a full investigation?! It's a cop out to accept his death so easily. Maybe I just can't accept that one of my heroes took his own life, but I'm convinced he was murdered and then the f***er disguised it as suicide.

Police never said it was a suicide.

[alpal78]

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3966225/Gary-didnt-argue-with-wife-he-wasnt-depressed.html

 

His agent says Speed didn't suffer from depression, although maybe he's hidden it incredibly well.

 

Theres also his last pictures, that were taken on Saturday outside BBC studios

 

Might have been posted before from Sheraer http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/sport/football/3965783/Gary-Speed-news-Alan-Shearer-opens-his-heart.html?OTC-RSS&ATTR=Football

 

I refused to believe that he took his own life. I know there are people saying that people who are depressed don't show it sometimes, whilst maybe you can hide the depression, but to me it is just impossible that someone who could be laughing and making plans for next week for next year could take his own life within 12 hours, unless something horribly wrong happened and Speed was a clean man by all accounts. Maybe others find it easy to just rationalized the incomprehensible that way...he took his life because he was depressed and we can't understand it because we didn't go through what he did. No f***ing way, taking your life is no easy decision, it's not something you do in a flash, there must have been some thought process, some deliberation involved.

 

I wish the police would not just wash their hands off and say nothing is suspicious, how do you know if you don't f***ing launch a full investigation?! It's a cop out to accept his death so easily. Maybe I just can't accept that one of my heroes took his own life, but I'm convinced he was murdered and then the f***er disguised it as suicide.

Police never said it was a suicide.

 

well some tosh about nothing suspicious and therefore not investigating further. Plus if he was found hanging and the police said nothing is suspicious, isn't that one of the most obvious conclusion and what the police are effectively saying? I just think that in case, a closer investigation is required. It just does not make sense and no saying he was depressed does not do it for me. 

[thomas]

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3966225/Gary-didnt-argue-with-wife-he-wasnt-depressed.html

 

His agent says Speed didn't suffer from depression, although maybe he's hidden it incredibly well.

 

Theres also his last pictures, that were taken on Saturday outside BBC studios

 

Might have been posted before from Sheraer http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/sport/football/3965783/Gary-Speed-news-Alan-Shearer-opens-his-heart.html?OTC-RSS&ATTR=Football

 

I refused to believe that he took his own life. I know there are people saying that people who are depressed don't show it sometimes, whilst maybe you can hide the depression, but to me it is just impossible that someone who could be laughing and making plans for next week for next year could take his own life within 12 hours, unless something horribly wrong happened and Speed was a clean man by all accounts. Maybe others find it easy to just rationalized the incomprehensible that way...he took his life because he was depressed and we can't understand it because we didn't go through what he did. No f***ing way, taking your life is no easy decision, it's not something you do in a flash, there must have been some thought process, some deliberation involved.

 

I wish the police would not just wash their hands off and say nothing is suspicious, how do you know if you don't f***ing launch a full investigation?! It's a cop out to accept his death so easily. Maybe I just can't accept that one of my heroes took his own life, but I'm convinced he was murdered and then the f***er disguised it as suicide.

Police never said it was a suicide.

 

well some tosh about nothing suspicious and therefore not investigating further. Plus if he was found hanging and the police said nothing is suspicious, isn't that one of the most obvious conclusion and what the police are effectively saying? I just think that in case, a closer investigation is required. It just does not make sense and no saying he was depressed does not do it for me. 

Sorry that "depressed" doesn't do it for you but that really just highlights the gulf in understanding between depressed and non-depressed.

 

I ask you to consider that whatever led to his death didn't occur on Saturday/Sunday.  Consider that there wasn't something that suddenly changed. 

 

Entertain the possibility that the smiling face and the laughter and the plans for vacations were horrible but well intentioned lies meant probably to not arouse concern or suspicion.  Consider something, probably now unknown forever, was tearing at this man from inside for a long time and he, through fear of not wanting to appear weak and ask for help or out of some misguided idea of nobility and not burdening others with his problem, had finally reached the end of pretending everything was ok.  'Put on a brave face and get through the day, fuck knows if it's going to be better tomorrow but you've got to keep going' once said a voice inside, but that voice was drown out by fear, or sadness, or madness. 

 

Imagine a man entering a great new stage in his career, highly respected and admired in his field with two children and a wife, has decided this is the best thing for all involved.

 

It's hard to do all that for normal people.  When you're depressed though, these kinds of insidious decisions and gradual erosions of ones will to keep going have a way of appearing to be made of crystal clear logic.  It's nearly impossible to explain. 

 

Still really confused and sad about all this. 

[BlufPurdi]

thomas.

[eliassenfredrik]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/teams/wales/8921461/Gary-Speeds-death-has-left-me-helpess-and-I-dont-know-what-to-do-says-devastated-Alan-Shearer.html?

 

Gary Speed's death has left me helpess and I don't know what to do, says devastated Alan Shearer

 

Twenty-four hours after a death that he may never be able to comprehend, Alan Shearer was still helpless with grief. “I don’t know what to do. I feel numb. I can’t go out,” he said, thinking of his dear friend, Gary Speed.

 

By  Paul Hayward

 

6:30AM GMT 29 Nov 201

 

“I’ve cancelled everything I had on today, even various charity engagements,” he said. “Nothing like this has happened to me before. I don’t know whether I’m doing the right thing speaking. I don’t know what the right or the wrong thing is.”

 

This was Alan Shearer, all right, but not as we know him. Speed’s great ally from their shared Newcastle United days was not calling to talk about himself. His hope was to pay tribute to a comrade whose death has become a cause for national mourning.

 

Beneath the outpouring of affection and remembrance, something deeper was at work across the land. Most deaths are absorbed, or at least faced, when the immediate storm of news has passed. But Speed’s end, at 42, defied comprehension. It made no sense. For Shearer there can be no peace or understanding.

 

“No, that’s the question I keep asking myself. Why? Why?” he said, speaking to Telegraph Sport. “He was the sort of friend who would confide in you. But I was laughing and joking with him on Saturday [in a BBC TV studio], as we always do. There was no sign. The last thing I said was, ‘See you next weekend’. We were supposed to be going out, to a charity dinner we were attending together.”

 

The pair had even planned their next holiday to Portugal together. Speed joined Shearer at Newcastle in 1998 and the two recognised each other as kindred spirits. “I’d played against him several times but I didn’t get to know him until he came to Newcastle. As you go through your career you’re bound to make a few enemies, that’s the nature of football. But he didn’t have any. Nobody said anything bad about him.”

 

In the shadow of sudden and baffling loss people advance their own memories, however fleeting, of the departed public figure. On a day of bewildered recollection, people tweeted about handshakes, autographs, childhood memories of all the teams Speed played in and even spotting him out on runs, in Sheffield, where he finished his playing career.

 

Michael Owen, whose first football trophy, at nine years old, was handed over by Speed, talked of waving to him last week at the gates of the school their children attend. The abiding theme was an insurmountable inability to reconcile the healthy, humorous and high-flying Gary Speed they knew with the tragic figure in the news who was found hanged at his family home.

 

“You read about this type of thing in the paper but you never imagine it’s going to happen to a friend,” Shearer said.

 

In his halting voice you could pick up the confusion and sense the pain that will stalk him as he tries to understand why a mate would walk into oblivion without a word, without asking for help.

 

The first sign came early on Sunday morning when Shearer looked at his phone. He said: “I had a few missed calls, which I thought was strange. It was a mutual friend, and when he told me I said to him, ‘Stop messing around. Don’t joke about things like this’.”

 

Shearer said he spent the rest of the day in a trance, then sought comfort in others in Speed’s circle who were equally stunned. “I was numb. I went and got drunk last night with a few of his friends. It’s all I could manage.

 

“Obviously then you wake up with a hangover and you’re back to reality again. I keep thinking of Louise [speed’s wife] and the two boys [Edward, 14 and Thomas, 13]: they’re the important ones. You can’t do anything, you can’t say anything. You’re just at a loss.”

 

Football’s camaraderie is built on shared athletic ability, high spirits, the good life. Men are drawn into groups and say goodbye at the end as mere colleagues, close friends or sometimes even enemies. The common image of footballers is of a limited kind of intimacy, built around mutual good fortune, and fun.

 

It was not this way for Shearer and Speed, or Speed and his other close friends. There was a bond. You could see it in the face of Shay Given as he towelled away his tears in the Aston Villa goal, at Swansea. You could feel it in the compassionate leave extended to Craig Bellamy when Liverpool faced Manchester City.

 

“There are handful of guys who I would trust my life with and he was one of them,” Shearer said. He managed to put grief aside to talk about his bereavement but you could tell he found it unbearable to be churning it all up again. Words were no use. They brought no refuge.

 

On the field, the lines were clear: “He was everything the game is about. Hard work and dedication. He would have been a manager’s dream.” But what did the football matter now? “I just keep coming up with the same question: why? Why didn’t he call me, why didn’t he say anything on Saturday, if something was bothering him?”

 

There is no guarantee that anyone in Speed’s orbit will be able to function properly anytime soon. Shearer is not wasting time with ritual bravery or clichés about soldiering on. He says: “I’ve got a few things planned for later in the week but I’ll just have to see how I feel.”

 

In this maelstrom his friends have no choice but to observe the tide of official statements expressing sympathy and admiration, from the Prime Minister down. They see the shrines and the scarves tied on gates but none of it really helps. None of it answers the question. Shearer looked at all the tributes and thought: “This is how important he is. The stupid and sad thing is that he can’t see what he meant to people.”

[matta]

RIP.

[sander68]

Has there been said anything about a suicide note?

[magorific]

Alpal78: keep your delusional ramblings confined to the addled recesses of your feeble mind.

Can mods not delete his last post? Beyond absurd.

[alpal78]

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3966225/Gary-didnt-argue-with-wife-he-wasnt-depressed.html

 

His agent says Speed didn't suffer from depression, although maybe he's hidden it incredibly well.

 

Theres also his last pictures, that were taken on Saturday outside BBC studios

 

Might have been posted before from Sheraer http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/sport/football/3965783/Gary-Speed-news-Alan-Shearer-opens-his-heart.html?OTC-RSS&ATTR=Football

 

I refused to believe that he took his own life. I know there are people saying that people who are depressed don't show it sometimes, whilst maybe you can hide the depression, but to me it is just impossible that someone who could be laughing and making plans for next week for next year could take his own life within 12 hours, unless something horribly wrong happened and Speed was a clean man by all accounts. Maybe others find it easy to just rationalized the incomprehensible that way...he took his life because he was depressed and we can't understand it because we didn't go through what he did. No f***ing way, taking your life is no easy decision, it's not something you do in a flash, there must have been some thought process, some deliberation involved.

 

I wish the police would not just wash their hands off and say nothing is suspicious, how do you know if you don't f***ing launch a full investigation?! It's a cop out to accept his death so easily. Maybe I just can't accept that one of my heroes took his own life, but I'm convinced he was murdered and then the f***er disguised it as suicide.

Police never said it was a suicide.

 

well some tosh about nothing suspicious and therefore not investigating further. Plus if he was found hanging and the police said nothing is suspicious, isn't that one of the most obvious conclusion and what the police are effectively saying? I just think that in case, a closer investigation is required. It just does not make sense and no saying he was depressed does not do it for me. 

Sorry that "depressed" doesn't do it for you but that really just highlights the gulf in understanding between depressed and non-depressed.

 

I ask you to consider that whatever led to his death didn't occur on Saturday/Sunday.  Consider that there wasn't something that suddenly changed. 

 

Entertain the possibility that the smiling face and the laughter and the plans for vacations were horrible but well intentioned lies meant probably to not arouse concern or suspicion.  Consider something, probably now unknown forever, was tearing at this man from inside for a long time and he, through fear of not wanting to appear weak and ask for help or out of some misguided idea of nobility and not burdening others with his problem, had finally reached the end of pretending everything was ok.  'Put on a brave face and get through the day, f*** knows if it's going to be better tomorrow but you've got to keep going' once said a voice inside, but that voice was drown out by fear, or sadness, or madness. 

 

Imagine a man entering a great new stage in his career, highly respected and admired in his field with two children and a wife, has decided this is the best thing for all involved.

 

It's hard to do all that for normal people.  When you're depressed though, these kinds of insidious decisions and gradual erosions of ones will to keep going have a way of appearing to be made of crystal clear logic.  It's nearly impossible to explain. 

 

Still really confused and sad about all this. 

 

To make it clear, I'm not in anyway saying that him being depressed (or not) makes any difference to the way I see him. I get the part that you can hide your pain, some of us have done that to varying degrees. But unless there is some medical explanation, I cannot see how someone could be laughing and joking and taking the mickey out of his mates and then take his own life hours after that. Forget being depress, try laughing when you are feeling sad, it is almost physiologically impossible and from my limited understanding, depression is like a million times worse than sadness.

 

Add to the fact that he had no fights, no quarrels, no drugs, no scandals...etc, there is no inkling of anything that may have made him depressed. There has to be a source of that depression. Most importantly, his agent said he was not depressed. If his laughter was a mere facade, then none of his closest friends and family (I might add) managed to detect it. And here we are all concluding that he was depressed when most of us have not even spoken to him in person. I really think for some, saying that he was depressed is a coping mechanism to explain away the mystery and irrationality of the circumstances of his death. Then follow it by saying that people don't understand and that there is a gulf understanding or whatever is just the icing on the cake, so that we don't have to dig deeper. Sorry Thomas, this isn't a personal attack on you, but do you have background in psychology or clinical depression to make this conclusion when those closest to him could not see anything wrong? On what basis are you making your conclusion?

 

I'm obviously no expert in this field and I'm willing to do some reading on depression if you have them, but I want the police to dig deeper because to me something is not quite right and I don't want people to just accept this depression theory at face value and then just move on. Speed deserves more than that.

[alpal78]

Alpal78: keep your delusional ramblings confined to the addled recesses of your feeble mind.

Can mods not delete his last post? Beyond absurd.

 

what's your problem? Absolute no need to censor or the personal attacks. I'm not in anyway demeaning his death, if anything I'm saying that he deserves more. Buzz off!

[Unbelievable]

http://img254.imageshack.us/img254/3103/39442903.jpg

 

Sorry, but that's hilarious.

 

Why? I find it quite moving..

[magorific]

Alpal78: keep your delusional ramblings confined to the addled recesses of your feeble mind.

Can mods not delete his last post? Beyond absurd.

 

what's your problem? Absolute no need to censor or the personal attacks. I'm not in anyway demeaning his death, if anything I'm saying that he deserves more. Buzz off!

 

MY problem? My problem is people who clearly know f*** all about a horrendous illness like depression speaking from a position of such ignorance that you come out with a statement like "Try laughing when you're sad". Depression can take myriad forms. Not for nothing is it known as a hidden disease. The sense of shock at Speed's death

is typical of that of the friends and family of most suicide victims. The question they all ask is "why?" Why? Because many suicide victims - not least those who seemingly

have so much to live for - tend to do such a good job of disguising the symptoms.

Some of us have been there -or close to it. Spare us your cod psychology and conspiracy theories.

How upsetting would it be for a family member of Speed to be reading tributes on this, the biggest NUFC forum, and cone across your suggestion that he is involved in

something or with someone so shady that they killed him?

 

 

[magorific]

Apologies. Smart phone quote thread meltdown.

[thomas]

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3966225/Gary-didnt-argue-with-wife-he-wasnt-depressed.html

 

His agent says Speed didn't suffer from depression, although maybe he's hidden it incredibly well.

 

Theres also his last pictures, that were taken on Saturday outside BBC studios

 

Might have been posted before from Sheraer http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/sport/football/3965783/Gary-Speed-news-Alan-Shearer-opens-his-heart.html?OTC-RSS&ATTR=Football

 

I refused to believe that he took his own life. I know there are people saying that people who are depressed don't show it sometimes, whilst maybe you can hide the depression, but to me it is just impossible that someone who could be laughing and making plans for next week for next year could take his own life within 12 hours, unless something horribly wrong happened and Speed was a clean man by all accounts. Maybe others find it easy to just rationalized the incomprehensible that way...he took his life because he was depressed and we can't understand it because we didn't go through what he did. No f***ing way, taking your life is no easy decision, it's not something you do in a flash, there must have been some thought process, some deliberation involved.

 

I wish the police would not just wash their hands off and say nothing is suspicious, how do you know if you don't f***ing launch a full investigation?! It's a cop out to accept his death so easily. Maybe I just can't accept that one of my heroes took his own life, but I'm convinced he was murdered and then the f***er disguised it as suicide.

Police never said it was a suicide.

 

well some tosh about nothing suspicious and therefore not investigating further. Plus if he was found hanging and the police said nothing is suspicious, isn't that one of the most obvious conclusion and what the police are effectively saying? I just think that in case, a closer investigation is required. It just does not make sense and no saying he was depressed does not do it for me. 

Sorry that "depressed" doesn't do it for you but that really just highlights the gulf in understanding between depressed and non-depressed.

 

I ask you to consider that whatever led to his death didn't occur on Saturday/Sunday.  Consider that there wasn't something that suddenly changed. 

 

Entertain the possibility that the smiling face and the laughter and the plans for vacations were horrible but well intentioned lies meant probably to not arouse concern or suspicion.  Consider something, probably now unknown forever, was tearing at this man from inside for a long time and he, through fear of not wanting to appear weak and ask for help or out of some misguided idea of nobility and not burdening others with his problem, had finally reached the end of pretending everything was ok.  'Put on a brave face and get through the day, f*** knows if it's going to be better tomorrow but you've got to keep going' once said a voice inside, but that voice was drown out by fear, or sadness, or madness. 

 

Imagine a man entering a great new stage in his career, highly respected and admired in his field with two children and a wife, has decided this is the best thing for all involved.

 

It's hard to do all that for normal people.  When you're depressed though, these kinds of insidious decisions and gradual erosions of ones will to keep going have a way of appearing to be made of crystal clear logic.  It's nearly impossible to explain. 

 

Still really confused and sad about all this. 

To make it clear, I'm not in anyway saying that him being depressed (or not) makes any difference to the way I see him. I get the part that you can hide your pain, some of us have done that to varying degrees. But unless there is some medical explanation, I cannot see how someone could be laughing and joking and taking the mickey out of his mates and then take his own life hours after that. Forget being depress, try laughing when you are feeling sad, it is almost physiologically impossible and from my limited understanding, depression is like a million times worse than sadness.

Look, I know no one likes being told they don't "get" something, but my post was trying to point out that applying logic and reason and sane thinking to try and explain the actions of someone who's depressed will result in exactly the kind of confusion you're exhibiting, with the "I cannot see" and "to me it is just impossible"'s.  This confusion leads to the kind of speculation and, honestly I think, just-below-the-surface anger where you demand answers and reasons and why's because "depression" is just depression and there's nothing to get and it's something I CAN wrap my head around.  But you can't.  And please understand I'm not calling you dumb I'm calling you normal.

 

There has to be a source of that depression.

There doesn't have to be an external one.  It could be completely physiological.

Most importantly, his agent said he was not depressed. If his laughter was a mere facade, then none of his closest friends and family (I might add) managed to detect it. And here we are all concluding that he was depressed when most of us have not even spoken to him in person. I really think for some, saying that he was depressed is a coping mechanism to explain away the mystery and irrationality of the circumstances of his death. Then follow it by saying that people don't understand and that there is a gulf understanding or whatever is just the icing on the cake, so that we don't have to dig deeper.

Nah, no one's trying to explain away the irrationality of it or that anyone should stop looking into it at all, I honestly don't know how you're reading that into it.

 

Sorry Thomas, this isn't a personal attack on you, but do you have background in psychology or clinical depression to make this conclusion when those closest to him could not see anything wrong? On what basis are you making your conclusion?I'm obviously no expert in this field and I'm willing to do some reading on depression if you have them, but I want the police to dig deeper because to me something is not quite right and I don't want people to just accept this depression theory at face value and then just move on. Speed deserves more than that.

Well I have been clinically diagnosed with depression so I might have a better sensitivity to the kind of delusion someone operates under when they're heavily depressed. But on what basis am I concluding all the rest of that? 

1. Out of all the scenarios I can imagine where Gary Speed is found that way, I think suicide makes the most sense. 

2. Suicide is pretty much exclusively an act attempted and carried out by the severely depressed.

 

And I don't think anyone's saying "CASE CLOSED.  GARY WHO?!" at all when they posit depression+suicide.  Finding out why is important here, so long as it's within the wishes and with the permission of his family.  If it's revealed to be otherwise, that's fine.  If the family don't want him exhumed for tests w/r/t a chemical imbalance in the brain or otherwise, or if no more details are ever forthcoming, you can feel free to think up all the unsubstantiated conspiracy theories you want.  For me it's bizarre and sad but that explanation makes the most sense. 

 

 

[ToonTastic]

Someone said it after the big piece from Stan Collymore and Collymore agreed, if you don't want someone to know your depressed they won't know.

[alpal78]

Fair enough Thomas, thanks for taking the trouble to try and explain it. It's just so hard for me to find some sort of closure this way. 

[cp40]

Fair enough Thomas, thanks for taking the trouble to try and explain it. It's just so hard for me to find some sort of closure this way. 

 

 

its too soon, we all need time to grieve consider,come to terms with, support others. each to varying degrees depending on closeness to him,and our own psychological state.

 

RIP Gary

[Guest Micktoon]

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3966225/Gary-didnt-argue-with-wife-he-wasnt-depressed.html

 

His agent says Speed didn't suffer from depression, although maybe he's hidden it incredibly well.

 

Theres also his last pictures, that were taken on Saturday outside BBC studios

 

Might have been posted before from Sheraer http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/sport/football/3965783/Gary-Speed-news-Alan-Shearer-opens-his-heart.html?OTC-RSS&ATTR=Football

 

I refused to believe that he took his own life. I know there are people saying that people who are depressed don't show it sometimes, whilst maybe you can hide the depression, but to me it is just impossible that someone who could be laughing and making plans for next week for next year could take his own life within 12 hours, unless something horribly wrong happened and Speed was a clean man by all accounts. Maybe others find it easy to just rationalized the incomprehensible that way...he took his life because he was depressed and we can't understand it because we didn't go through what he did. No f***ing way, taking your life is no easy decision, it's not something you do in a flash, there must have been some thought process, some deliberation involved.

 

I wish the police would not just wash their hands off and say nothing is suspicious, how do you know if you don't f***ing launch a full investigation?! It's a cop out to accept his death so easily. Maybe I just can't accept that one of my heroes took his own life, but I'm convinced he was murdered and then the f***er disguised it as suicide.

Police never said it was a suicide.

 

well some tosh about nothing suspicious and therefore not investigating further. Plus if he was found hanging and the police said nothing is suspicious, isn't that one of the most obvious conclusion and what the police are effectively saying? I just think that in case, a closer investigation is required. It just does not make sense and no saying he was depressed does not do it for me. 

Sorry that "depressed" doesn't do it for you but that really just highlights the gulf in understanding between depressed and non-depressed.

 

I ask you to consider that whatever led to his death didn't occur on Saturday/Sunday.  Consider that there wasn't something that suddenly changed. 

 

Entertain the possibility that the smiling face and the laughter and the plans for vacations were horrible but well intentioned lies meant probably to not arouse concern or suspicion.  Consider something, probably now unknown forever, was tearing at this man from inside for a long time and he, through fear of not wanting to appear weak and ask for help or out of some misguided idea of nobility and not burdening others with his problem, had finally reached the end of pretending everything was ok.  'Put on a brave face and get through the day, f*** knows if it's going to be better tomorrow but you've got to keep going' once said a voice inside, but that voice was drown out by fear, or sadness, or madness. 

 

Imagine a man entering a great new stage in his career, highly respected and admired in his field with two children and a wife, has decided this is the best thing for all involved.

 

It's hard to do all that for normal people.  When you're depressed though, these kinds of insidious decisions and gradual erosions of ones will to keep going have a way of appearing to be made of crystal clear logic.  It's nearly impossible to explain. 

 

Still really confused and sad about all this. 

To make it clear, I'm not in anyway saying that him being depressed (or not) makes any difference to the way I see him. I get the part that you can hide your pain, some of us have done that to varying degrees. But unless there is some medical explanation, I cannot see how someone could be laughing and joking and taking the mickey out of his mates and then take his own life hours after that. Forget being depress, try laughing when you are feeling sad, it is almost physiologically impossible and from my limited understanding, depression is like a million times worse than sadness.

Look, I know no one likes being told they don't "get" something, but my post was trying to point out that applying logic and reason and sane thinking to try and explain the actions of someone who's depressed will result in exactly the kind of confusion you're exhibiting, with the "I cannot see" and "to me it is just impossible"'s.  This confusion leads to the kind of speculation and, honestly I think, just-below-the-surface anger where you demand answers and reasons and why's because "depression" is just depression and there's nothing to get and it's something I CAN wrap my head around.  But you can't.  And please understand I'm not calling you dumb I'm calling you normal.

 

There has to be a source of that depression.

There doesn't have to be an external one.  It could be completely physiological.

Most importantly, his agent said he was not depressed. If his laughter was a mere facade, then none of his closest friends and family (I might add) managed to detect it. And here we are all concluding that he was depressed when most of us have not even spoken to him in person. I really think for some, saying that he was depressed is a coping mechanism to explain away the mystery and irrationality of the circumstances of his death. Then follow it by saying that people don't understand and that there is a gulf understanding or whatever is just the icing on the cake, so that we don't have to dig deeper.

Nah, no one's trying to explain away the irrationality of it or that anyone should stop looking into it at all, I honestly don't know how you're reading that into it.

 

Sorry Thomas, this isn't a personal attack on you, but do you have background in psychology or clinical depression to make this conclusion when those closest to him could not see anything wrong? On what basis are you making your conclusion?I'm obviously no expert in this field and I'm willing to do some reading on depression if you have them, but I want the police to dig deeper because to me something is not quite right and I don't want people to just accept this depression theory at face value and then just move on. Speed deserves more than that.

Well I have been clinically diagnosed with depression so I might have a better sensitivity to the kind of delusion someone operates under when they're heavily depressed. But on what basis am I concluding all the rest of that? 

1. Out of all the scenarios I can imagine where Gary Speed is found that way, I think suicide makes the most sense. 

2. Suicide is pretty much exclusively an act attempted and carried out by the severely depressed.

 

And I don't think anyone's saying "CASE CLOSED.  GARY WHO?!" at all when they posit depression+suicide.  Finding out why is important here, so long as it's within the wishes and with the permission of his family.  If it's revealed to be otherwise, that's fine.  If the family don't want him exhumed for tests w/r/t a chemical imbalance in the brain or otherwise, or if no more details are ever forthcoming, you can feel free to think up all the unsubstantiated conspiracy theories you want.  For me it's bizarre and sad but that explanation makes the most sense. 

 

 

 

Totally agree Thomas. As with yourself i can speak from years of experience.

[Guest Micktoon]

Someone said it after the big piece from Stan Collymore and Collymore agreed, if you don't want someone to know your depressed they won't know.

 

That about hits the nail on the head.

[Cronky]

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3966225/Gary-didnt-argue-with-wife-he-wasnt-depressed.html

 

His agent says Speed didn't suffer from depression, although maybe he's hidden it incredibly well.

 

Theres also his last pictures, that were taken on Saturday outside BBC studios

 

Might have been posted before from Sheraer http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/sport/football/3965783/Gary-Speed-news-Alan-Shearer-opens-his-heart.html?OTC-RSS&ATTR=Football

 

I refused to believe that he took his own life. I know there are people saying that people who are depressed don't show it sometimes, whilst maybe you can hide the depression, but to me it is just impossible that someone who could be laughing and making plans for next week for next year could take his own life within 12 hours, unless something horribly wrong happened and Speed was a clean man by all accounts. Maybe others find it easy to just rationalized the incomprehensible that way...he took his life because he was depressed and we can't understand it because we didn't go through what he did. No f***ing way, taking your life is no easy decision, it's not something you do in a flash, there must have been some thought process, some deliberation involved.

 

I wish the police would not just wash their hands off and say nothing is suspicious, how do you know if you don't f***ing launch a full investigation?! It's a cop out to accept his death so easily. Maybe I just can't accept that one of my heroes took his own life, but I'm convinced he was murdered and then the f***er disguised it as suicide.

Police never said it was a suicide.

 

well some tosh about nothing suspicious and therefore not investigating further. Plus if he was found hanging and the police said nothing is suspicious, isn't that one of the most obvious conclusion and what the police are effectively saying? I just think that in case, a closer investigation is required. It just does not make sense and no saying he was depressed does not do it for me. 

Sorry that "depressed" doesn't do it for you but that really just highlights the gulf in understanding between depressed and non-depressed.

 

I ask you to consider that whatever led to his death didn't occur on Saturday/Sunday.  Consider that there wasn't something that suddenly changed. 

 

Entertain the possibility that the smiling face and the laughter and the plans for vacations were horrible but well intentioned lies meant probably to not arouse concern or suspicion.  Consider something, probably now unknown forever, was tearing at this man from inside for a long time and he, through fear of not wanting to appear weak and ask for help or out of some misguided idea of nobility and not burdening others with his problem, had finally reached the end of pretending everything was ok.  'Put on a brave face and get through the day, fuck knows if it's going to be better tomorrow but you've got to keep going' once said a voice inside, but that voice was drown out by fear, or sadness, or madness. 

 

Imagine a man entering a great new stage in his career, highly respected and admired in his field with two children and a wife, has decided this is the best thing for all involved.

 

It's hard to do all that for normal people.  When you're depressed though, these kinds of insidious decisions and gradual erosions of ones will to keep going have a way of appearing to be made of crystal clear logic.  It's nearly impossible to explain. 

 

Still really confused and sad about all this. 

 

Thank you for that post, which I found really helpful.

 

I've often thought that the world of professional sport isn't always the best preparation for some of life's pressures. Gary made the step from being a player to managing a national team very quickly, and perhaps he found that sudden surge of responsibility overwhelming. It must be a lonely position, and Gary was quite a patriot.

 

From all accounts, he was a man who orientated himself around helping others with their problems - it was quite moving to hear that although he wasn't the most vocal of characters, he was the one who was on the look-out for the the player in the corner of the dressing room who was in trouble and who needed a lift. People like that aren't always the best when it comes to asking for help themselves.

[Christmas Tree]

I appreciate what collymore is trying to say however I think for most of us we just cant get our head around this particular person being in such a bad state and not an inkling throughout his life of from family or friends of any sort of depression, mood swings or odd behaviour.

 

Collymore does have history, beating up women, and has gone into great detail about how when depression hits he can not leave the room for days etc. The absolute opposite with Gary seemingly at every stage of his life, even the way he has went on during his last day.

 

For those who do understand depression, Im not sure how common it is for a case to be so extreme.

 

Totally understand where you are coming from aswell Apal78, it does seem to defy everything given all that we so far know.

 

Inquest opens today.