Your own football ability - how good are/were you?

[TheBrownBottle]

I was utter shite, tbh.  Played once for the school at RB.  Odd match in Sunday League.

 

I was though enthusiastic - I’d run all day.  I could read the game well, so could defend well.  But once I was on the ball, it all went wrong.  Still loved playing though.

[Coastie]

Fun topic... one thing I've noticed about you poms, no matter how shite you reckon you are, you can all trap and pass so it must get sucked in with the mother's milk somehow.

 

I was fairly decent but was never quite on the football escalator (such as we had in Oz back in the 70s and 80s). My great claim to goalkeeping fame was that, at 16, I kept a kid (Squiz) out of the school team. Then, after I decided I wanted a go at striker, Squiz got into the regional team and kept another kid out of that team called Tony Pezzano - who a few years later was the Australia keeper. So I was arguably better than the Australia keeper.

 

Over the years, I alternated between keeper and striker/winger and played NPL3 as a keeper which is about the level of Conference in the UK. Also played intervarsity which was the highest standard I ever played as it was full of National league youth players.

 

As a striker I got to NPL5 which is still decent-ish. But I did once come out of goals in an intervarsity game when our last reserve was injured - went up front and got a hat trick.

 

Having played both keeper and striker, I always took the penalties (even as a keeper) and rarely missed. Still play O45s... can't bear the thought of giving it away - though I know that day is creeping closer.

 

My grandfather was a Geordie and played at a good level back in the 1920s and 30s. Tried out for Newcastle several times and emigrated to Australia after one of the coaches said to him: "You'll never be a footballer, lad." He was always at me to go back to Newcastle and take up where he left off but it was never realistic.

 

But if you can't be a professional footballer, you can always write a book about it. I wrote a book that was fairly popular in Australia a few years back. 

[Ben]

I always thought I was quite good, I played in the Tyneside exhibition in 1987 and for my school and youth club.

 

Looking back I don't think I was ever better than average but I was keen as mustard and used to absolutely adore playing, we would meet at the local pitch on a Sunday after lunch and play for hours, I was always clashing a ball off a wall and anything could be a goal, great stuff.

[Lish007]

Good at 5-a-side, absolutely shocking at 11-a-side (just got lost and was always more difficult to see the match on the ground than on a telly!!). 

 

Loved playing though, would love to do 5 a side again. I could pick a great through ball and was good at finding space. I'm quite tall and slim so other girls underestimated me and Id slam them against the wall and get the ball back, very wiry strength. Was my secret weapon! 

 

Was actually goalkeeper for a while which I was good at. Was a good rush keeper like Neeek Pope! 

[macphisto]

Basically anyone in the Newcastle area who played for one of St. Cuthberts A team at school or Wallsend Boys, Walker Central or Walbottle (I think that's the name of the team) then congratulations you were class. Rest of us, including me, were only average. 

[Ghandis Flip-Flop]

I was just a speed merchant, who due to an eye condition had cracking finishing one week out of three.

 

I used to hold my own with the lads who ended up at academies (Mainly by applying the Hard work beats talent, when talent doesn’t work hard), but none of them made it Pro. The main notable one having the nickname Disco Lawson in the Northern League, may have suggested why he didn’t make it ?

[mattypnufc]

Pretty shite but loved playing. Could ping a pass and play some cracking through balls, and hit the odd screamer. At peak football I’d play three times a week (fives/sevens) and occasional 11 a side.
 

Still miss it but my knees wouldn’t cope now so have to keep to cycling instead. 

[leffe186]

5 hours ago, ryanegg said:

All I remember as a kid was my Dad shouting from the sidelines “RUN PROPERLY YOU FUCKING SPAZ” with the other parents just staring at him with open mouths? 

 

That was my football career over and done with at about 6 years old. 

 My Dad came to watch a lot of my games but I don’t remember him ever praising me or screaming at me. He certainly had a go at a ref or two.

 

Dad was a really good old-school eccentric goalkeeper. I feel incredibly lucky that I actually got to play with him in his “Old Boys” team - he was a 40-year-old keeper, I was a 12-13 year old sweeper in front of him. Getting a tear in my eye just thinking about it

 

Maybe my favourite memory of playing football was in a local team that he had played for briefly in the 1960s. We got to a Cup Final - played at a local stadium with hundreds watching. At the time we played 3-5-2 with me at LWB. Our classy little CB/sweeper got injured, tried to play on and cost us a goal. I moved to CB and held us together. We got to 2-1 but kept missing chances to kill it off. Last second they get a corner, somebody gets to it and heads it down but I’d moved to the goal-line, chested it down like a cocky cunt and volleyed it off the line. Whistle blows. I can still feel the whole thing. Don’t know if my Dad was ever prouder. Think I’ve got something in my eye…

[TheBrownBottle]

58 minutes ago, macphisto said:

Basically anyone in the Newcastle area who played for one of St. Cuthberts A team at school or Wallsend Boys, Walker Central or Walbottle (I think that's the name of the team) then congratulations you were class. Rest of us, including me, were only average. 

I played - once - for Walbottle (my old high school).  Spent the rest of the time in the B team.  St Cuthy’s B and C teams were better than most local school sides.  

[leffe186]

42 minutes ago, Ghandis Flip-Flop said:

I was just a speed merchant, who due to an eye condition had cracking finishing one week out of three.

 

I used to hold my own with the lads who ended up at academies (Mainly by applying the Hard work beats talent, when talent doesn’t work hard), but none of them made it Pro. The main notable one having the nickname Disco Lawson in the Northern League, may have suggested why he didn’t make it ?

When I was in 5th form at school I was CB with Greg Heald, who was in the Upper 6th. One or two older guys might just remember him - played for England Schoolboys then Peterborough and Barnet.

[Lazarus]

6 hours ago, ryanegg said:

All I remember as a kid was my Dad shouting from the sidelines “RUN PROPERLY YOU FUCKING SPAZ” with the other parents just staring at him with open mouths? 

 

That was my football career over and done with at about 6 years old. 

 

[Guest]

Classic tennis ball in the school yard up bringing. 

 

I'm shit.

[NE27]

Played for school teams and for killingworth, was only ever average at best but absolutely loved every bit of it.

 

If not at a club, I was playing football for hours on end with mates.

 

It's just the done thing for kids isn't it.

 

Get a lot of joy from watching my nephew make his first foray into club football and I can almost feel myself wanting to run on the pitch and piledrive a shot past a 10 year old keeper shouting shearer and wheeling away with my hand aloft.

 

 

Edited November 24, 2023 by NE27

[Conjo]

Looking back it's actually pretty insane how much football we played when young. Basically every break time at school, as much as we could convince the teacher to in gymnastics, every day after school incl. 1 sometimes 2 days of youth team practice and one youth team game, and every so often during the weekends unless you had other plans.

 

Still 99% of us were miles and miles away from being considered genuine talents. Goes to show how narrow the eye of the needle is to make it to the top.

[1964]

I played till I was 50, in shit local leagues, and was generally to be at best, functional.  I think I used to run and turn like pacman 

[macphisto]

58 minutes ago, TheBrownBottle said:

I played - once - for Walbottle (my old high school).  Spent the rest of the time in the B team.  St Cuthy’s B and C teams were better than most local school sides.  

Was Walbottle also Sunday League? Maybe I'm thinking of Montagu Boys? There was definitely three Sunday league teams head and shoulders above everyone else, Wallsend Boys, Walker Central and a third team

[Lush Vlad]

Mediocre.
 

Played Rugby whilst at school, as I was much better at it and enjoyed it more. Just the higher you went, the more it became about which private school you went to. So switched back to football about 16 and it was a big change. 
 

I got to the higher end of local amateur football. Never good enough to even get the £30 a game semi-pro gig. But I was an ok defensive, sometimes box to box centre mid. 
 

Blew my knee out at 26 and needed a fairly big op. Then after a few attempted comebacks ended up with another three on top of that and could probably do with another one. All in the same knee. 
 

Certainly not ‘I had trials for West Ham but my knee injury stopped me turning pro’ levels of ability  but it is depressing having to basically stop all sport when you get to 33. 

[Doctor Zaius]

I was alright. Played for the school, seconds at uni, local Saturday and Sunday leagues here and Derby, Saturday Alliance for a few seasons up here, what seemed like a well organised, decent level in Spain. When I was a student Id train on a Monday, play for the uni on a Wednesday, play Saturday morning and then for my mates Christian team on a Saturday afternoon then play on a Sunday morning too with the odd futsal game midweek as well. 

 

Two ACL operations later and ive not kicked a ball in about four years. Might try and play 5 a side again but i just dont trust my knee. Going to try and join a midweek cricket side - even though im rubbish. Just want to be involved in something again.  

[TheBrownBottle]

12 minutes ago, macphisto said:

Was Walbottle also Sunday League? Maybe I'm thinking of Montagu Boys? There was definitely three Sunday league teams head and shoulders above everyone else, Wallsend Boys, Walker Central and a third team

Walbottle had a cracking team which won the National cup - after I left though  - Montys were good too.

 

Cuthys, Wallsend and Walker Central were the teams to beat when I was a kid.  Same in my dad’s day - he used to play for Walker Central

[Groundhog63]

Reminiscing again. Played school football, decent. 

Played for the camp B team at RAF Abingdon

Played 5 a side for the watch, station and Fire Brigade team at Eldon Square. The latter in goal where I received a sine-die for kicking a door after being sent off. Played loads of sat/sun football for Rutherford, The Westfield, Hussar, Dudley etc etc. 

One of the reasons I miss The Pink to read the Alphabet leagues. 

Also enjoyed watching the bairn play sometimes involving a round, trip to York on a Sunday morning just for that. 

Watched the nephew's and great nephew's as well. 

It's a great sport and great crack if you're in a team and all pals. 

Deffo better if you're getting 100k a week for it but there is alot to be said for just being involved at any level. 

 

[AyeDubbleYoo]

1 hour ago, OCK said:

Classic tennis ball in the school yard up bringing. 

 

I'm shit.

 

I think I thought I was rubbish because I would miss a one-foot goal with a tennis ball while wearing school shoes

[Lush Vlad]

30 minutes ago, Doctor Zaius said:

I was alright. Played for the school, seconds at uni, local Saturday and Sunday leagues here and Derby, Saturday Alliance for a few seasons up here, what seemed like a well organised, decent level in Spain. When I was a student Id train on a Monday, play for the uni on a Wednesday, play Saturday morning and then for my mates Christian team on a Saturday afternoon then play on a Sunday morning too with the odd futsal game midweek as well. 

 

Two ACL operations later and ive not kicked a ball in about four years. Might try and play 5 a side again but i just dont trust my knee. Going to try and join a midweek cricket side - even though im rubbish. Just want to be involved in something again.  

If you don’t trust your knee. My advice would be not to bother. I binned off all sports and went back to uncompetitive 6 a side. As like you, I was missing team sports massively.
 

I was fine for months and actually felt like my knee was the best it had been in years. Then one day it felt like a bomb went off in my leg. Completely innocuous, nobody even near me. Went down like a sniper had got me  

[leffe186]

49 minutes ago, Lush Vlad said:

Mediocre.
 

Played Rugby whilst at school, as I was much better at it and enjoyed it more. Just the higher you went, the more it became about which private school you went to. So switched back to football about 16 and it was a big change. 
 

I got to the higher end of local amateur football. Never good enough to even get the £30 a game semi-pro gig. But I was an ok defensive, sometimes box to box centre mid. 
 

Blew my knee out at 26 and needed a fairly big op. Then after a few attempted comebacks ended up with another three on top of that and could probably do with another one. All in the same knee. 
 

Certainly not ‘I had trials for West Ham but my knee injury stopped me turning pro’ levels of ability  but it is depressing having to basically stop all sport when you get to 33. 

Don’t know if you’ve actually read any of the posts in here, but that’s not mediocre

 

I remember playing in a 5-a-side tournament once against a guy who had supposedly played for PSG (don’t know what level). Was quite a sobering experience. He just did everything at a completely different speed from a normal human being.

[James]

I don’t like to blow my own trumpet however I have recorded a few stats of my playing career to date (see below) and must reflect and say ‘not bad’

 

 

[Lush Vlad]

Just now, leffe186 said:

Don’t know if you’ve actually read any of the posts in here, but that’s not mediocre

 

I remember playing in a 5-a-side tournament once against a guy who had supposedly played for PSG (don’t know what level). Was quite a sobering experience. He just did everything at a completely different speed from a normal human being.

Aye. I have had a flick through just now  

 

Playing against lads that have played higher is always tough. You just chase shadows for 90 minutes and they’re always 2-3 steps ahead. So frustrating.
 

My Sunday league team was quality. 6-7 semi-pro players and a couple that ‘could’ have gone higher. I know everyone says that, mind. Had a massive cigar on in the middle of the park most the game  easy enough with so many good players around you. 

My claim to fame for playing sport against people who are clearly just a million times better than you. Was playing American football.
 

Efe Obada when he was at the London Warriors for one of his 5 games before going to the NFL. Absolute genetic freak. Was blocking two people at a time, an arm apiece  Then playing against various Yanks in training, who had played high school or even college at a decent level. A truly humbling experience.