TheBrownBottle Posted February 15 Share Posted February 15 2 minutes ago, Kid Icarus said: I would simply destroy capitalism and the insane infinite growth death cult train we're all strapped to. Not even joking, everything awful about the game leads back to it and the only time anything awful is averted is when it turns out to not be profitable. Just leaving this here - not just because of the surrealist element of NUFC still being England’s second biggest club by turnover … https://www.marxists.org/history/etol/newspape/isj2/1996/isj2-073/bambery.htm Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobsonsWonderland Posted February 15 Share Posted February 15 Clubs only allowed to have limited number of players under 21, to limit the likes of Chelsea , city hoarding the best young talent Restrict the number of outgoing loans per club to restrict the above further. Bring back the old fashioned reserve league where senior pros, squad players and emerging talent would be able to play together Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
FloydianMag Posted February 15 Share Posted February 15 7 hours ago, Holmesy said: Really like the 3pm PPV idea! And the banning for chucking stuff. Both top ideas! I wonder which clubs would be the biggest beneficiaries of 3pm PPV model? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheBrownBottle Posted February 15 Share Posted February 15 1 minute ago, FloydianMag said: I wonder which clubs would be the biggest beneficiaries of 3pm PPV model? It wouldn’t be the lower leagues, that’s for certain. Isn’t that right, Bob? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nucasol Posted February 15 Share Posted February 15 1) Ban US owners from U.K. club ownership. That cuts the heads off the capitalism hydra, the absolute weasel shite bags that they are. 2) Some form of ringfenced escrow to cover commitments beyond a cap. 3) Disband the PL and reintegrate into the overall pyramid. You’re not more important, you’re just currently more successful. 1930s Huddersfield and Sunderland would have been big dogs at the time but now carry no sway at all. 4) Significant efforts to weed out excessive influence from the Sinister Six. The ESL showed they only have their own interests in mind so they should be no where near being allowed to determine these for the rest of the English football pyramid. No more pre-screening candidates etc. 5) Move away from Sky Sports, the cosy arseholes they are. They’ve shown they’re just as good embedded into the Sinister Six as you can be. Their experts are either no nowt frauds like that Kaveh or too blinded by club loyalties like Neville and Carragher. Plus that mackem cunt is now a lead presenter. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lush Vlad Posted February 15 Share Posted February 15 Scrap VAR for everything apart from goal line technology and unseen violent conduct stuff. Like how players used to retrospectively get punished after the game. Have the VAR official looking at it whilst play is ongoing and a more streamlined version. Not 700 angles and super slow mo, ref to the monitor. Grey area and there would be some boy who cried wolf scenarios. But harsher punishments for diving and play acting. Fed up of how pretending to be hurt and blatant cheating has just become an accepted part of the game. Some kind of salary cap and a clearer, more sensical version of FFP. Would still be loopholes and rife for abuse like it is in American sports. But the money involved has gone beyond a joke. Yellow cards, very easily becoming two yellows if players surround the ref. Should be the skipper speaking to the ref with the player in question. Rugby has gotten a bit shit over the years. But always agree with that. NFL is a violent as fuck sport. Yet the officials get more respect and less dissent. Kick off times - a thorough review required and the way TV companies have carte blanche over them. How many times do teams get a ridiculous KO hundreds of miles away. With no public transport to get them home after. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobbydazzla Posted February 15 Share Posted February 15 (edited) - Scrap VAR - 3 subs - If player has a minor injury, go off the pitch for treatment - Ban LED boards - No shirt numbers over 30 allowed - Keepers have to wear 1 or 12 - 50% of stadium capacity is standing - Scrap FFP - New strips every 2 seasons - No music after goals - No announcer shouting players name after goals - Ban jester hats - Maximum 2 mins taking vids / pics on phone in stadium or face lifetime ban - Scrap Europa Conf / League - Bring back UEFA cup - Only food in grounds is pies - Bars in ground close when players are on pitch - No season tickets at NUFC - Away games available to members at NUFC - No ballots - No allocated seating - Fastest dancer competition at 1/2 time - Slow down songs - Fans not allowed to copy other teams songs - Kick off times must allow fans to be able to travel back to home town on train - No over knee socks - No shin height socks - No holes cut in socks - Anyone leaving stand on 35 or 80 mins gets lifetime ban - Less injury time - Teams not allowed to play 3x in 7 days - Maximum squad sizes (incl u18’s etc) - Clive Tyldesley banned - Neville banned from commentating on Man Utd - Carragher banned from commentating on Liverpool - Robbie Savage banned from TV - Maximum sacked manager payout of £500,000 - Stadium attendance figures to be qualified by drone footage of stadium at 20 mins into game - Show all top flight games on telly in UK if available overseas - Players must have surname on shirt, not first name or nickname - Ban any reference to 6’s, 10’s, 8’s, false 9’s, pivots, xG, inverted wingers Edited February 15 by bobbydazzla Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nucasol Posted February 15 Share Posted February 15 15 minutes ago, bobbydazzla said: - Scrap VAR - 3 subs - If player has a minor injury, go off the pitch for treatment - Ban LED boards - No shirt numbers over 30 allowed - Keepers have to wear 1 or 12 - 50% of stadium capacity is standing - Scrap FFP - New strips every 2 seasons - No music after goals - No announcer shouting players name after goals - Ban jester hats - Maximum 2 mins taking vids / pics on phone in stadium or face lifetime ban - Scrap Europa Conf / League - Bring back UEFA cup - Only food in grounds is pies - Bars in ground close when players are on pitch - No season tickets at NUFC - Away games available to members at NUFC - No ballots - No allocated seating - Fastest dancer competition at 1/2 time - Slow down songs - Fans not allowed to copy other teams songs - Kick off times must allow fans to be able to travel back to home town on train - No over knee socks - No shin height socks - No holes cut in socks - Anyone leaving stand on 35 or 80 mins gets lifetime ban - Less injury time - Teams not allowed to play 3x in 7 days - Maximum squad sizes (incl u18’s etc) - Clive Tyldesley banned - Neville banned from commentating on Man Utd - Carragher banned from commentating on Liverpool - Robbie Savage banned from TV - Maximum sacked manager payout of £500,000 - Stadium attendance figures to be qualified by drone footage of stadium at 20 mins into game - Show all top flight games on telly in UK if available overseas - Players must have surname on shirt, not first name or nickname - Ban any reference to 6’s, 10’s, 8’s, false 9’s, pivots, xG, inverted wingers - Chris Sutton beaten with cudgels as half time entertainment at each PL ground twice per season Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
FloydianMag Posted February 15 Share Posted February 15 (edited) 19 minutes ago, bobbydazzla said: - Scrap VAR - 3 subs - If player has a minor injury, go off the pitch for treatment - Ban LED boards - No shirt numbers over 30 allowed - Keepers have to wear 1 or 12 - 50% of stadium capacity is standing - Scrap FFP - New strips every 2 seasons - No music after goals - No announcer shouting players name after goals - Ban jester hats - Maximum 2 mins taking vids / pics on phone in stadium or face lifetime ban - Scrap Europa Conf / League - Bring back UEFA cup - Only food in grounds is pies - Bars in ground close when players are on pitch - No season tickets at NUFC - Away games available to members at NUFC - No ballots - No allocated seating - Fastest dancer competition at 1/2 time - Slow down songs - Fans not allowed to copy other teams songs - Kick off times must allow fans to be able to travel back to home town on train - No over knee socks - No shin height socks - No holes cut in socks - Anyone leaving stand on 35 or 80 mins gets lifetime ban - Less injury time - Teams not allowed to play 3x in 7 days - Maximum squad sizes (incl u18’s etc) - Clive Tyldesley banned - Neville banned from commentating on Man Utd - Carragher banned from commentating on Liverpool - Robbie Savage banned from TV - Maximum sacked manager payout of £500,000 - Stadium attendance figures to be qualified by drone footage of stadium at 20 mins into game - Show all top flight games on telly in UK if available overseas - Players must have surname on shirt, not first name or nickname - Ban any reference to 6’s, 10’s, 8’s, false 9’s, pivots, xG, inverted wingers Bring back the peanut seller! All televised games to go out in monochrome. Edited February 15 by FloydianMag Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nucasol Posted February 15 Share Posted February 15 Use of the Carnival de Paris song to result in automatic relegation. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheBrownBottle Posted February 15 Share Posted February 15 1 hour ago, bobbydazzla said: - Players must have surname on shirt, not first name or nickname - Ban any reference to 6’s, 10’s, 8’s, false 9’s, pivots, xG, inverted wingers Yes and double-yes, though I’m going to combine both and suggest removing names from shirts and replacing them with numbers 1-11. I don’t like that a player ‘owns’ a shirt. Ego-stroking shite. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
AyeDubbleYoo Posted February 15 Share Posted February 15 9 hours ago, Colos Short and Curlies said: But a corner is too low a punishment for stopping an almost certain goal A lot of penalties aren't almost certain goals though, it's a guy knocking the ball past an opponent out of play and going down or the ball randomly touching someone's arm. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Optimistic Nut Posted February 15 Share Posted February 15 10 hours ago, AyeDubbleYoo said: On board for them all I reckon. I have mentioned before about making the rule that a penalty can't be awarded if the attacker hasn't tried to continue play. Also I think a penalty is too harsh a punishment in such a low-scoring game, might be good to introduce something more like a penalty corner instead. A free goal for a very minor infringement is too much in this sport. Think that'd encourage more "snidey" fouls inside the box potentially? Sort of linked to the first point, I've thought for a long time that a penalty could be given but still a yellow-card for the attacking player if he's making a meal trying to exaggerate a foul. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheBrownBottle Posted February 15 Share Posted February 15 11) all musical instruments banned from football stadiums* (*South American exemption applies) 12) national teams at WCs to wear traditional kits. Bollocks to Brazil in white shorts and Spain in red shorts 13) all entrance music to be replaced by a marching band playing appropriate tune for club. Blaydon Races in our case, which should stop the Colosseum New Monkey ravers doing it at 150bpm 14) further to previous FA Cup points, and to point 13), Abide with Me at Wembley to be played by armed forces band and sang by crowd. I don’t want to hear some daft cunt warbling it like they’re on pop idol over a tinny sound system 15) applause in X minute stopped irrespective of sentiment 16) beer to be allowed within sight of the pitch. And I’m a teetotaller 17) Barry Davies to allow his voice to be used for AI commentary, so that it would be worth listening to again 18) safe standing available in at least 50% of all stadium capacities 19) under soil heating banned for FA Cup matches in winter. Snow only allowed to be brushed to show pitch markings. Complaints by managers about conditions to be punishable by points deduction 20) black pentagons and white hexagons are mandatory for all footballs used in professional football (WC ‘74 design). No other design allowed other than orange for snowy pitches (see 19)) Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackyboy Posted February 15 Share Posted February 15 Punish players and managers retrospectively by reviewing videos after the game and punishing for fouls that were missed, diving, cheating etc. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
AyeDubbleYoo Posted February 15 Share Posted February 15 1 minute ago, jackyboy said: Punish players and managers retrospectively by reviewing videos after the game and punishing for fouls that were missed, diving, cheating etc. Definitely for diving, been wanting this for years. I thought about starting a diving social media account to call people out each week, but I couldn't be bothered in the end and thought I might be sued for libel Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Superior Acuña Posted February 15 Share Posted February 15 6 minutes ago, TheBrownBottle said: 11) all musical instruments banned from football stadiums* (*South American exemption applies) 12) national teams at WCs to wear traditional kits. Bollocks to Brazil in white shorts and Spain in red shorts 13) all entrance music to be replaced by a marching band playing appropriate tune for club. Blaydon Races in our case, which should stop the Colosseum New Monkey ravers doing it at 150bpm 14) further to previous FA Cup points, and to point 13), Abide with Me at Wembley to be played by armed forces band and sang by crowd. I don’t want to hear some daft cunt warbling it like they’re on pop idol over a tinny sound system 15) applause in X minute stopped irrespective of sentiment 16) beer to be allowed within sight of the pitch. And I’m a teetotaller 17) Barry Davies to allow his voice to be used for AI commentary, so that it would be worth listening to again 18) safe standing available in at least 50% of all stadium capacities 19) under soil heating banned for FA Cup matches in winter. Snow only allowed to be brushed to show pitch markings. Complaints by managers about conditions to be punishable by points deduction 20) black pentagons and white hexagons are mandatory for all footballs used in professional football (WC ‘74 design). No other design allowed other than orange for snowy pitches (see 19)) I strongly oppose the beer in sight of pitch rule. I've been to games on the continent where it's allowed and it really pissed me off. I'm not arsed about the beer specifically, but it encourages people to be going back and forth to buy beers (or worse, if available, calling roving sellers over for it). It's a really annoying distraction. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Optimistic Nut Posted February 15 Share Posted February 15 8 minutes ago, TheBrownBottle said: 15) applause in X minute stopped irrespective of sentiment Sunderland have this spot on, not sure if they still do it, or how long they did it for, but last home game of the year they'd have a minute to acknowledge loved ones who've passed away that year as a mark of respect. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
wormy Posted February 15 Share Posted February 15 9 hours ago, Colos Short and Curlies said: But a corner is too low a punishment for stopping an almost certain goal Wasn't there a game or tournament in the US once where they had a shoot out which rather than penalties, were one on ones? Bring those in. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheBrownBottle Posted February 15 Share Posted February 15 Just now, Optimistic Nut said: Sunderland have this spot on, not sure if they still do it, or how long they did it for, but last home game of the year they'd have a minute to acknowledge loved ones who've passed away that year as a mark of respect. I wasn’t aware of that - I quite like that as an idea Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cronky Posted February 15 Share Posted February 15 Change the punishment for a deliberate foul against a player in a scoring position outside the area. Instead of a red and a free kick, award a penalty and either a yellow or a red depending on the nature of the foul. Before anyone starts, there is nothing sacrosanct about the principle that a penalty can only be awarded for a foul in the area. Refs already have to distinguish between 'goalscoring position' fouls and the others, so it's perfectly practical. I don't know why it hasn't been tried. A penalty is a much better compensation when a player has been deprived of a shot on goal. A sending off for a non-violent foul also seems unnecessary. The penalty would be punishment enough. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
AyeDubbleYoo Posted February 15 Share Posted February 15 I’m undecided about the penalty box itself. Agreed on the decision-making aspect but there is some drama and excitement as a player approaches the box. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yorkie Posted February 15 Share Posted February 15 Changing the rules around stuff like penalties and offsides is like changing all the food in your cupboards to accommodate the fussy guest you've got staying. Just get rid of the fussy guest and crack on with your life as normal. (The guest in this metaphor is VAR) Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr.Spaceman Posted February 15 Share Posted February 15 The rules literally just need reverting to what they were in the 90's. Use VAR for offsides only and use thicker lines with a capacity for a margin of error (if the decision is wrong it'll not be overturned if it's due to the thickness of a players boot or the length of their armpit hair) Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yorkie Posted February 15 Share Posted February 15 14 minutes ago, Dr.Spaceman said: The rules literally just need reverting to what they were in the 90's. Use VAR for offsides only and use thicker lines with a capacity for a margin of error (if the decision is wrong it'll not be overturned if it's due to the thickness of a players boot or the length of their armpit hair) This is how it always was though, only it was called "the attacker has the benefit of the doubt." So we'd broadly have the same rule with the same leniency, only with the addition of having to keep our spontaneity in check cos VAR might still intervene. Either have it for the toenail situations or don't have it, imo. Sorry, I'll try not to bombard this (mint) thread with VAR chat. Needless to say I'm approaching the point where my preference would be to bin it altogether. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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