Ultimate Newcastle United player

[Dyeyzzon]

Passing: Cabaye

Creativity: Ben Arfa

Shooting: Shearer

Speed: Bellamy

Stamina: Jonas

Heading: Carroll

Strength: Joelinton

Dribbling: Ginola

Touch: Woltemade

Mentality: Trippier

 

Doing this in reverse made for an interesting challenge 

 

Spoiler

Passing: Hendrick

Creativity: Colback

Shooting: Riviere

Speed: Boumsong

Stamina: Owen

Heading: Xisco

Strength: Ferguson

Dribbling: Campbell

Touch: Bramble

Mentality: Dyer

[Optimistic Nut]

Would have Shelvey for stamina in the reverse. 

[gjohnson]

25 minutes ago, Optimistic Nut said:

Would have Shelvey for stamina in the reverse. 

Luuk de Jong for shooting

[CPL]

4 hours ago, Joe1984 said:

Robert for power.

 

Has to be up there...

That video of Bernard slowing falling to the fall after taking one of his thunderbolts in the temple 

[Myleftboot]

Cock size: Asprilla.

[Yorkie]

(Not trying to be edgy); Isak in the conversation for shooting? Definitely the best after Shearer in my lifetime; not old enough to remember Cole.

[Fenham Mag]

20 minutes ago, Yorkie said:

(Not trying to be edgy); Isak in the conversation for shooting? Definitely the best after Shearer in my lifetime; not old enough to remember Cole.

Personally, would have Ba ahead of him in that department.

 

 

Edited November 14, 2025 by Fenham Mag

[Fak]

3 hours ago, Optimistic Nut said:

Would have Shelvey for stamina in the reverse. 

 

Viduka

[Fak]

2 hours ago, Myleftboot said:

Cock size: Asprilla.

 

How do you know?

[Joe1984]

1 hour ago, Yorkie said:

(Not trying to be edgy); Isak in the conversation for shooting? Definitely the best after Shearer in my lifetime; not old enough to remember Cole.

Missed too many one on one's... 😁

[Whitley mag]

What the King says.

 

 

[vicente_14]

Yedlin must be in with a shout for speed, absolutely rapid.

[AJ9]

Passing: Bruno

Creativity: Beardsley

Shooting: Shearer

Speed: Bellamy

Stamina: Tonali

Heading: Ferdinand

Strength: Joelinton

Dribbling: Ben Arfa

Touch: Woltemade

Mentality: Trippier

Pens: Shola

 

[Dyeyzzon]

2 hours ago, Yorkie said:

(Not trying to be edgy); Isak in the conversation for shooting? Definitely the best after Shearer in my lifetime; not old enough to remember Cole.

If I’d put him in this, probably it’s for his movement off the ball. Probably our most intelligent striker in that regard. Good finisher but if you want strikers whose shooting really defined them, Shearer or even Cisse for me.

[Guybrush]

Ben Arfa in every category bar mentality. Sorry not sorry. 

[AJ9]

Isak is maybe top 3 for finishing. Cole, Shearer, and then Isak I think

[Fenham Mag]

10 minutes ago, AJ9 said:

Isak is maybe top 3 for finishing. Cole, Shearer, and then Isak I think

 

If you are having Isak in that list you should probably consider Owen, unfortunately. 

[kingxlnc]

Who is the best crosser? Is it as simple as Solano? 

Can't think of too many better? 

[Fak]

2 minutes ago, kingxlnc said:

Who is the best crosser? Is it as simple as Solano? 

Can't think of too many better? 

 

Murphy and Robert are up there.

[kingxlnc]

Aura - Ginola 
Swagger - Asprilla
Flair - Ben Arfa

Tenacity - Tiote
First touch - Tonali
Gillespie perhaps could be speed or crossing
 

[Optimistic Nut]

2 hours ago, Fak said:

 

Viduka

 

He'd be right up there for strength as well. Even though he was at the end of his career here if the ball was played up to him, it stuck and you weren't getting it off him. If Woltemade could get his upper body strength he'd be unplayable. 

 

 

Edited November 14, 2025 by Optimistic Nut

[UncleBingo]

54 minutes ago, kingxlnc said:

Aura - Ginola 
Swagger - Asprilla
Flair - Ben Arfa

Tenacity - Tiote
First touch - Tonali
Gillespie perhaps could be speed or crossing
 

Ginola's first touch was insane, better than  Tonali's for me.

[IndonesianToon]

16 hours ago, Fenham Mag said:

Passing: Bruno G

Creativity: Solano

Shooting: Shearer

Speed: Gordon

Stamina: Tonali

Heading: Burn

Strength: Lascelles

Dribbling: Ben Arfa

Touch: Woltemade

Mentality: Trippier

Speed related. 

I assumed bellamy was before your time, no ?

He was phenomenal. 

 

Btw, I think the quickest was Oba Martins. 

[IndonesianToon]

1 hour ago, kingxlnc said:

Who is the best crosser? Is it as simple as Solano? 

Can't think of too many better? 

Gillespie worth mentioning.

I always remember that match against Barca

[Abacus]

I'm not sure this Frankenstein footballer would be all that much cop.

 

He'd have to pass to himself on the wing, speedily get there, cross to himself and then head or shoot, while the rest of the team is presumably smoking a tab.