CPL Posted November 13, 2025 Share Posted November 13, 2025 I was tutoring today and I told the child to write about your ultimate player based on different attributes. I decided to do my own but make it Newcastle based and thought it would be fun to share. Only rule is you can't repeat a player. I am basing it on the time I have supported Newcastle United, which might be useful to put down as it may explain why certain players are missing. Year from: 1996 Passing: Cabaye Creativity: Solano Shooting: Shearer Speed: Bellamy Stamina: Tonali Heading: Les Ferdinand Strength: Joelinton Dribbling: Ben Arfa Touch: Trippier Mentality: Bruno G Wasn't exactly sure who has been the fastest players but Bellamy always scared the shit out of defenders. Other notable ones I left out are Duncan Ferguson(strength), Peter Beardsley( dribbling), Gary Speed (heading). I have probably missed someone obviously but feel free to add your own! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe1984 Posted November 13, 2025 Share Posted November 13, 2025 Just now, CPL said: I was tutoring today and I told the child to write about your ultimate player based on different attributes. I decided to do my own but make it Newcastle based and thought it would be fun to share. Only rule is you can't repeat a player. I am basing it on the time I have supported Newcastle United, which might be useful to put down as it may explain why certain players are missing. Year from: 1996 Passing: Cabaye Creativity: Solano Shooting: Shearer Speed: Bellamy Stamina: Tonali Heading: Les Ferdinand Strength: Joelinton Dribbling: Ben Arfa Touch: Trippier Mentality: Bruno G Wasn't exactly sure who has been the fastest players but Bellamy always scared the shit out of defenders. Other notable ones I left out are Duncan Ferguson(strength), Peter Beardsley( dribbling), Gary Speed (heading). I have probably missed someone obviously but feel free to add your own! Shot stopping: Given. GKs allowed? You didn't do one! 😁 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cornah Posted November 13, 2025 Share Posted November 13, 2025 Andy Cole - Finishing. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
joeyt Posted November 13, 2025 Share Posted November 13, 2025 Think Schar (passing) deserves a mention Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
matta Posted November 13, 2025 Share Posted November 13, 2025 Shearer everything Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fak Posted November 13, 2025 Share Posted November 13, 2025 A Solano or Shelvey outside of the boot was always a sexy pass. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitley mag Posted November 13, 2025 Share Posted November 13, 2025 Peter Beardsley. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fenham Mag Posted November 13, 2025 Share Posted November 13, 2025 Passing: Bruno G Creativity: Solano Shooting: Shearer Speed: Gordon Stamina: Tonali Heading: Burn Strength: Lascelles Dribbling: Ben Arfa Touch: Woltemade Mentality: Trippier Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe1984 Posted November 13, 2025 Share Posted November 13, 2025 Just now, Whitley mag said: Peter Beardsley. Which stats? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CPL Posted November 13, 2025 Share Posted November 13, 2025 11 minutes ago, Joe1984 said: Shot stopping: Given. GKs allowed? You didn't do one! 😁 Yea bit biased towards attackers Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fak Posted November 13, 2025 Share Posted November 13, 2025 Surely Onyewu was the strongest we've had since 1996. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RUHRLYASLEEVESUP Posted November 13, 2025 Share Posted November 13, 2025 Billy Whitehurst - Guiness drinking, Glass throwing & all round mentalist Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobbydazzla Posted November 13, 2025 Share Posted November 13, 2025 Catts for me like Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitley mag Posted November 13, 2025 Share Posted November 13, 2025 1 hour ago, Joe1984 said: Which stats? I don’t need stats just the eye test. He was box office and the most intelligent footballer I’ve seen in a black and white shirt. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rafalove Posted November 13, 2025 Share Posted November 13, 2025 Speed: Oba Jumping: Sir Les Strength: Big Dunc stamina: Jonas Pens: Shearer Dribbling: Hatem Crossing: Trippier Finishing: Cisse free kicks: Robert Movement: Cole vision: Beardsley passing: Shelvey Aggresion: Mitro leadership: Big Jam Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheBrownBottle Posted November 13, 2025 Share Posted November 13, 2025 1 hour ago, Joe1984 said: Which stats? All of them Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheBrownBottle Posted November 13, 2025 Share Posted November 13, 2025 2 minutes ago, Rafalove said: Speed: Oba Jumping: Sir Les Strength: Big Dunc stamina: Jonas Pens: Shearer Dribbling: Hatem Crossing: Trippier Finishing: Cisse free kicks: Robert Movement: Cole vision: Beardsley passing: Shelvey Aggresion: Mitro leadership: Big Jam Shearer’s penalty record wasn’t great when it actually mattered, mind - I’d take Shola on pens ahead of Shearer every time Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gottlob Posted November 13, 2025 Share Posted November 13, 2025 I mean you can start listing attributes... Right foot: Alan Shearer Left foot: Laurent Robert Dribbling: Peter Beardsley Heading: Les Ferdinand Engine: Rob Lee Je ne sais quoi: David Ginola Tenacity: Clarence Acuna Nippiness: Ruel Fox ...and keep going until the cows come home but at the moment there's really no other answer than 'Elliot Anderson'. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CPL Posted November 13, 2025 Share Posted November 13, 2025 Forgot about Martins for speed. Could easily add more attributes but wanted to keep it simple. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Icarus Posted November 13, 2025 Share Posted November 13, 2025 Passing: Bruno Creativity: Beardsley Shooting: Cole Speed: Elanga (No point in having Martin's speed, he never used it properly ) Stamina: Tonali Heading: Ferdinand Strength: Joelinton Dribbling: Ben Arfa Touch: Solano Mentality: Trippier Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fenham Mag Posted November 13, 2025 Share Posted November 13, 2025 2 hours ago, Fenham Mag said: Passing: Bruno G Creativity: Solano Shooting: Shearer Speed: Gordon Stamina: Tonali Heading: Burn Strength: Lascelles Dribbling: Ben Arfa Touch: Woltemade Mentality: Trippier making two changes as got this out in haste, speed has to be Oba Martins, deary me he was quick. 2nd, Stamina from Tonali to Tiote, Tiote was an absolute monster on his day and would put absolutely everything in and still be going. Was a lot more aggressive and physical than Tonali. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
kingxlnc Posted November 13, 2025 Share Posted November 13, 2025 Would put Martins for shot power Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fak Posted November 14, 2025 Share Posted November 14, 2025 1 hour ago, kingxlnc said: Would put Martins for shot power Hamann Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jewel Posted November 14, 2025 Share Posted November 14, 2025 The speed of Oba Martins was quite something, considering he was 48 years old when he signed for us. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe1984 Posted November 14, 2025 Share Posted November 14, 2025 38 minutes ago, Fak said: Hamann Robert for power. Has to be up there... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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