Football pet hates

[The Butcher]

'The eye test' combined with some xBollocks. 

 

What a load of shite.

[simonsays]

When people say 'he'd be good pick up'

[The Prophet]

The weird aversion to new, more precise football terminology. 

 

I agree it can be overdone, but most of it is fine.

[Viana]

Stuff like this.

 

The fact Villa put four past a turgid Everton doesn't suddenly mean Sir Alex was right. That's reactionary analysis. Emery's system against us was one of the major issues because he asked a slow back line to play a suicidally high line against a lightning quick set of attackers. 

 

 

[The Butcher]

"....... is/are going to be a problem"

 

Get in the sea.

[McCormick]

You sound old.

[The Butcher]

[Pancrate1892]

When clubs are described as a 'family club' basically means they are shit 

[TheBrownBottle]

3 minutes ago, Pancrate1892 said:

When clubs are described as a 'family club' basically means they are shit 

To me it also signifies that the commentators think X club is located in a nice, middle class town / city / hamlet.  Tends to be reserved for Southern clubs outside of London.  So Peterborough are more likely to be described this way than Barnsley

[Lush Vlad]

3 hours ago, Viana said:

Stuff like this.

 

The fact Villa put four past a turgid Everton doesn't suddenly mean Sir Alex was right. That's reactionary analysis. Emery's system against us was one of the major issues because he asked a slow back line to play a suicidally high line against a lightning quick set of attackers. 

 

 

So fans were too reactionary after a defeat. But after one win against an absolute bag of shite. This opinion isn’t reactionary? 

[madras]

11 hours ago, The Prophet said:

The weird aversion to new, more precise football terminology. 

 

I agree it can be overdone, but most of it is fine.

Especially when the people decrying it are the same people who've been using it more colloquially anyway. XG for example, people who slag it off will have said "we should have got something there we had 3 very good chances which we'd have took on another day". Which is basically XG.

 

 

Edited August 22, 2023 by madras

[Viana]

5 hours ago, Lush Vlad said:

So fans were too reactionary after a defeat. But after one win against an absolute bag of shite. This opinion isn’t reactionary? 

Just let the season play out a bit. This idea his system is good - and Sir Alex saw something in the tea leaves - is a bold conclusion to draw from one win. 
 

We don’t know how good his system is or isn’t. I was saying against us, I saw ways his decisions made it harder. Maybe that changes once the season settles. 
 

it feeds into a wider point that I feel most fans are just waiting for full time so they can either commend the winner or berate the loser. There’s no patience in any of it. 

[AyeDubbleYoo]

5 hours ago, TheBrownBottle said:

To me it also signifies that the commentators think X club is located in a nice, middle class town / city / hamlet.  Tends to be reserved for Southern clubs outside of London.  So Peterborough are more likely to be described this way than Barnsley

West Ham is actually the first one that comes to mind for me. Not sure why they were called that though. 

[TheBrownBottle]

3 minutes ago, AyeDubbleYoo said:

West Ham is actually the first one that comes to mind for me. Not sure why they were called that though. 

Eastenders, maybe?  Faaaaaaaaaahmleee.

 

Otherwise, a mystery to me - I never found the Boleyn and its environs particularly family friendly

[Lush Vlad]

10 minutes ago, Viana said:

Just let the season play out a bit. This idea his system is good - and Sir Alex saw something in the tea leaves - is a bold conclusion to draw from one win. 
 

We don’t know how good his system is or isn’t. I was saying against us, I saw ways his decisions made it harder. Maybe that changes once the season settles. 
 

it feeds into a wider point that I feel most fans are just waiting for full time so they can either commend the winner or berate the loser. There’s no patience in any of it. 

 

Just so we are clear.  I was on about Liam Bryan's tweet.  Not your post  

[Pixelphish]

6 hours ago, The Butcher said:

 

I like to imagine you're a Sith Lord.

 

Darth Butcher.

[Viana]

1 hour ago, Lush Vlad said:

 

Just so we are clear.  I was on about Liam Bryan's tweet.  Not your post  

Well…

 

Sorry mate

 

 

Edited August 22, 2023 by Viana

[MrRaspberryJam]

11 hours ago, Viana said:

Stuff like this.

 

The fact Villa put four past a turgid Everton doesn't suddenly mean Sir Alex was right. That's reactionary analysis. Emery's system against us was one of the major issues because he asked a slow back line to play a suicidally high line against a lightning quick set of attackers. 

 

 

Liam Bryan is clearly and obviously a massive wanker. 

[simonsays]

The young player of the year award going to a player starting his 5th season as a first team regular.  They should make it a breakthrough/rookie of the year thing

[number37]

The last few results haven't been easy for most of us but I think the state of the Dan Ashworth thread has tipped me over the edge so please allow me to whinge a wee bit here and hopefully I can move on. 

 

Football nomenclature. 

 

I feel so lost these days. I like to think I'm a reasonably intelligent guy, been a football fan for most of my almost 40 years and I'm a native English speaker (well, I'm from Ashington) but I just feel like the last few years has seen an explosion of new, made up and repurposed language that's taken what should be one of the easiest sports to watch and made it so much more difficult to enjoy. 

 

Guile. Pivot. Double pivot. False nine. 6. 8. Torso. Low block. High press. Transition. xA. xG. xXL. Counter rabbit experience.

 

Then there's that chucking paint on a spider web graph thing, what even is that? 

 

It's nice to have a variety of different people engaged in football and I'm very certain I'll never be their target audience or even show them the smallest semblance of respect but watching Moneyball, The Big Short and then shoving a thesaurus up your arse before getting yourself a YouTube channel offers very little, in my opinion. 

 

The beauty of football, its universal appeal, is that it's easy and simple to watch and understand. It's not cricket (I love cricket) in that it can seem overflowing with information that becomes a barrier to the unitiated but football looks to have taken the lack of excessive analysis as an opportunity to whip up these barriers and create a niche to make people sound a lot more elitist and intelligent than they actually are. (Probably like I'm doing here...) 

 

I feel bad for even thinking this but in some ways I hope we don't go to the San Siro in a couple of weeks (which feels wild to even say!) and win 2-0 because inevitably there'll be some statshagger saying how it was AC Milan that actually won because if you take away Newcastle's goals then Milan's expected triple pivot was 42.8° over the fulcrum, which largely went unnoticed by United's low press. 

 

Maybe it's why I don't participate much in match threads because I just don't think watching a game is even enough these days. All a troglodyte like me can ever comprehend is Schär smashing one in from 30 yards (until some nerd tells me that was only possible because Neptune's atmospheric pressure was deceptively uneven). 

 

I'll also like to refer myself to the football pet hates thread.
 

Football should move on but @number37 won't allow it. 

[ilikenewcastle]

Seems to be worse than ever this season but I hate how people are reading so much into the first 4 games of a season. Already I've seen people say:

- Spurs to get top 4 (all Spurs managers start well)

- Ward Prowse for the England squad (after 2 good games)

- Burnley to go down (after Kompany was considered a genius until a month ago)

- Liverpool to challenge for the title (nobody thought this a month ago)

[St. Maximin]

Home teams putting their away fans right behind a goal. It’s way too close and looks ridiculous seeing them either cheer an away goal or stay quiet when the home team scores. Stuffing them right at the top is one thing Newcastle have always got right. 

[mouldy_uk]

Footballers and backroom staff covering their mouths when talking on their pitch, like there is a team of elite lip readers watching and ready to tell the opposition exactly what they are about to do 

 

 

Edited September 3, 2023 by mouldy_uk
Bad Engrish

[TheBrownBottle]

4 hours ago, number37 said:

The last few results haven't been easy for most of us but I think the state of the Dan Ashworth thread has tipped me over the edge so please allow me to whinge a wee bit here and hopefully I can move on. 

 

Football nomenclature. 

 

I feel so lost these days. I like to think I'm a reasonably intelligent guy, been a football fan for most of my almost 40 years and I'm a native English speaker (well, I'm from Ashington) but I just feel like the last few years has seen an explosion of new, made up and repurposed language that's taken what should be one of the easiest sports to watch and made it so much more difficult to enjoy. 

 

Guile. Pivot. Double pivot. False nine. 6. 8. Torso. Low block. High press. Transition. xA. xG. xXL. Counter rabbit experience.

 

Then there's that chucking paint on a spider web graph thing, what even is that? 

 

It's nice to have a variety of different people engaged in football and I'm very certain I'll never be their target audience or even show them the smallest semblance of respect but watching Moneyball, The Big Short and then shoving a thesaurus up your arse before getting yourself a YouTube channel offers very little, in my opinion. 

 

The beauty of football, its universal appeal, is that it's easy and simple to watch and understand. It's not cricket (I love cricket) in that it can seem overflowing with information that becomes a barrier to the unitiated but football looks to have taken the lack of excessive analysis as an opportunity to whip up these barriers and create a niche to make people sound a lot more elitist and intelligent than they actually are. (Probably like I'm doing here...) 

 

I feel bad for even thinking this but in some ways I hope we don't go to the San Siro in a couple of weeks (which feels wild to even say!) and win 2-0 because inevitably there'll be some statshagger saying how it was AC Milan that actually won because if you take away Newcastle's goals then Milan's expected triple pivot was 42.8° over the fulcrum, which largely went unnoticed by United's low press. 

 

Maybe it's why I don't participate much in match threads because I just don't think watching a game is even enough these days. All a troglodyte like me can ever comprehend is Schär smashing one in from 30 yards (until some nerd tells me that was only possible because Neptune's atmospheric pressure was deceptively uneven). 

 

I'll also like to refer myself to the football pet hates thread.
 

Football should move on but @number37 won't allow it. 

‘A simple game complicated by idiots’

[El Prontonise]

5 minutes ago, St. Maximin said:

Home teams putting their away fans right behind a goal. It’s way too close and looks ridiculous seeing them either cheer an away goal or stay quiet when the home team scores. Stuffing them right at the top is one thing Newcastle have always got right. 

 

It's mandatory in the PL for them to do that, Newcastle have dispensation because of police advice.