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Football pet hates


Guest JonnyRogers

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Those horrific football jokes people make after any big victory for their team. It is possibly the most tedious thing of all things.

 

"(renowned striker/attacking midfielder) was declared missing yesterday, but was eventually found in the back pocket of (defensive midfielder/centre back)"

 

"Three-fourths of the world is covered by water, the rest by (centre midfielder)"

 

"(striker who's scored two or more goals) is wanted for rape in (whatever city he scored these goals in)"

 

This is the worst thing imaginable.

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I'd like to expand on that and say fans that do daft little choreographed celebrations in the pub. Some c*** was at it today when arsenal scored their third and did this daft pretendy bowling thing. He clearly thought he was cool as fuck. We all just thought he was an idiotic little bollock.

 

Class.  :lol:

 

:lol: I can't believe anyone would do a pre-meditated celebration in the pub, what a divvy. :lol:

 

:lol: The whole post has me cracked up everytime I read it. Bowling celebration in a pub man, love how he waited until the third to do it aswell.

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Our f***ing ball boys. Saying that they haven't been nearly as sh**e this season

 

They're shite, a little too young I think, they have no awareness of what is going on around them and can't even kick / throw the ball far enough more often than not.

 

Been like that for years.

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I vividly remember one game against Man Utd a few seasons ago. This one ball boy in particular had been horrendously poor. Couldn't throw, kick and it took him an age to give our lot the ball. Man Utd got a quick attack, the ball went out and the ball boy got the ball to Ronaldo in a nano second and Man Utd nearly scored. I was fuming.

 

I reckon we should use the Academy lads. Not the 16 year olds that teams like Wigan use, but the Under 11's/12's who actually have hand eye co-ordination and the power to kick a ball more than 8 yards to a keeper.

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I vividly remember one game against Man Utd a few seasons ago. This one ball boy in particular had been horrendously poor. Couldn't throw, kick and it took him an age to give our lot the ball. Man Utd got a quick attack, the ball went out and the ball boy got the ball to Ronaldo in a nano second and Man Utd nearly scored. I was fuming.

 

I reckon we should use the Academy lads. Not the 16 year olds that teams like Wigan use, but the Under 11's/12's who actually have hand eye co-ordination and the power to kick a ball more than 8 yards to a keeper.

 

I've been saying this for years. Everton have trained lads who know what to do to help the team so why not us.

 

Anyway, the term warchest.

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Guest firetotheworks

Patronising commentators when non-league teams are playing.

 

"And it's MICKY DEVLIN... THE POSTMAN! Who SCORES to put NON LEAGUE FC INTO THE SECOND ROUND!"

 

*Camera pans to Leeds fans after going 1-0 up against Man United*

 

'You tell them it's impossible, you tell them.'

 

 

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It's usually great seeing a tiny (and really they are tiny, relatively) club scoring against a 'big' club but it's often ruined by the commentary. WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT IT! THE BUTCHER, BAKER AND CANDLE STICK MAKER ALL ON THE SCORESHEET!

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Guest Stephen927

When a team concedes a freekick and they kick the ball to the spot where the freekick will be taken from. Leave it, let the other team sort it out ffs.

 

 

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Patronising commentators when non-league teams are playing.

 

"And it's MICKY DEVLIN... THE POSTMAN! Who SCORES to put NON LEAGUE FC INTO THE SECOND ROUND!"

 

*Camera pans to Leeds fans after going 1-0 up against Man United*

 

'You tell them it's impossible, you tell them.'

 

 

 

Without even hearing the commentery i'd put my house on it being the cunt Tyldesley coming out with that? Infact I can hear his voice now. cunt.

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