Say it like a footballer

[Rebellious]

Real Quotes

 

 

“I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league” - Mark Viduka

 

 

"One accusation you can’t throw at me is that I’ve always done my best.” - Alan Shearer

 

 

 

“I’ve never wanted to leave. I’m here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well.” - Alan Shearer

 

 

“I’ve had 14 bookings this season - 8 of which were my fault, but 7 of which were disputable.” - Paul Gascoigne

 

 

“Leeds is a great club and it’s been my home for years, even though I live in Middlesborough.” - Jonathan Woodgate

 

 

“I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel.” - Stuart Pearce

 

 

“I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock.” - Barry Venison

 

 

“He was one inch away from nudging it home, that’s what happens when you’re near the bottom” - Football commentator on ‘Match of the day’

 

 

“I’d rather play in front of a full house than an empty crowd.” - Johnny Giles

 

 

 

“All that remains is for a few dots and commas to be crossed.” - Mitchell Thomas

 

 

“I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don’t know into what religion yet.” - David Beckham

 

 

“Germany are a very difficult team to play…they had 11 internationals out there today.” - Steve Lomas

 

 

“I’d like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona.” - Mark Draper

 

 

“If you don’t believe you can win, there is no point in getting out of bed at the end of the day.” - Neville Southall

 

 

My parents have always been there for me, ever since I was about seven” - David Beckham

 

 

 

[Skirge]

mackems.gif mackems.gif mackems.gif mackems.gif mackems.gif mackems.gif mackems.gif mackems.gif mackems.gif mackems.gif mackems.gif mackems.gif

 

Sure most of them post on here...

[LooneyToonArmy]

.

.

"I never make predictions, and I never will."

Paul Gascoigne

 

"I couldn't settle in Italy. It was like living in a foreign country."

Ian Rush

 

"I faxed a transfer request to the club at the beginning of the week, but let me state that I don't want to leave Leicester."

Stan Collymore

 

 

[Guest Alan Shearer 9]

These always make me laugh

[danswan]

The Great Kevin Keegan is responsible for every one of these:

 

"You get bunches of players like you do bananas...though that is a bad comparison."

 

* "Argentina won't be at Euro 2000 because they're from South America."

 

* "People will say that was typical City, which really annoys me. But that's typical City, I suppose..."

 

* "By the end he [Asprilla] was knackered-o. I think that's the Spanish for it."

 

* "They're the second best team in the world and there's no higher praise than that."

 

* "One of his strengths is not heading."

 

* "He's using his strength and that is his strength, his strength."

 

* "My father was a miner and he worked down a mine."

 

* "If I had a blank piece of paper there'd be five names on it."

 

* "Hungary is very similar to Bulgaria. I know they're different countries..."

 

* "I didn't see a lot. When Benitez learns a bit more English someone have to tell him to sit down."

 

* "England have the best fans in the world and Scotland's fans are second to none."

 

* "Against France we'll have to be at our best both technically, tactically and spirit-wise."

 

* "You can't do better than go away from home and get a draw."

 

* "We deserved to win this game after hammering them 0-0 in the first half."

 

* "I don't think there's anyone bigger or smaller than Maradona."

 

* "He [sWP] is now getting paid what he deserves to be paid. I don't approve of using kids as cheap labour."

 

* "The 33 or 34 year olds will be 36 or 37 by the time the next World Cup comes around, if they're not careful."

 

* "Maine Road was a great football stadium but as time moved on it stayed where it is..."

 

* "Chile have three options - they could win or they could lose."

 

* "Gary always weighed up his options, especially when he had no choice."

 

* "The tide is very much in our court now."

 

* "The Germans only have one player under 22, and he's 23."

 

* "You don't get two chances at this level, or at any other level for that matter."

 

* "He can't speak Turkey, but you can tell he's delighted."

 

* "Batistuta is very good at pulling off defenders."

 

* "There'll be no siestas in Madrid tonight."

 

* "It's understandable that people are keeping one eye on the pot and another up the chimney."

 

* "England can end the millennium as it started - as the greatest football nation in the world."

 

* "I know what is around the corner - I just don't know where the corner is. But the onus is on us to perform and we must control the bandwagon."

 

* "They compare Steve McManaman to Steve Heighway and he's nothing like him, but I can see why - it's because he's a bit different..."

 

* "In some ways, cramp is worse than having a broken leg."

 

* "Should Al-Fayed get a British passport? 1000 per cent yes."

 

* "The good news for Nigeria is that they're two-nil down very early in the game..."

 

* "Despite his white boots, he has real pace..."

 

* "That would have been a goal if it wasn't saved."

 

* "Goalkeepers aren't born today until they're in their late 2Os or 3Os."

 

* "The substitute is about to come on - he's a player who was left out of the starting line-up today."

 

* "The ref was vertically 15 yards away."

 

* "Sir John Hall was a multi-millionaire when I came back to Newcastle. With all the players I've bought, I'm trying to make him just an ordinary millionaire."

 

* "Football's always easier when you've got the ball."

 

* "People still have the concept of one big bath, but the way forward hygeine-wise is single baths."

 

* "It's like a toaster, the ref's shirt pocket. Every time there's a tackle, up pops a yellow card."

 

* "I'd love to be a mole on the wall in the Liverpool dressing room at half-time."

 

* "I'm not trying to make excuses for David Seaman, but I think the lights may have been a problem..."

 

* "The game has gone rather scrappy as both sides realise they could win this match or lose it."

 

* "I'm not disappointed - just disappointed."

 

* "There's a slight doubt about only one player, and that's Tony Adams, who definitely won't be playing tomorrow."

 

* "I came to Nantes two years ago and it's much the same today, except that it's totally different."

 

* "We managed to wrong a few rights."

 

* "It's my job not to get beheaded."

 

* "I'll never play at Wembley again, unless I play at Wembley again."

 

* "Sometimes there are too many generals and not enough people waving to the generals as they walk past."

 

* "A tremendous strike which hit the defender full on the arm - and it nearly came off."

 

* "That decision, for me, was almost certainly definitely wrong."

 

* "Danny Tiatto is not going to make a mistake on purpose."

 

* "He'll also be very dangerous from set-pieces. That means he'll be a threat from free-kicks and corners in the final third of the field."

 

* "He's [shaun Wright-Phillips] got a heart as big as his size, which isn't big, but his heart's bigger than that."

 

* "The problem in our country is that we use hindsight as our judge. When she [Margaret Thatcher] was in power, there were a lot of good things done, but people will always pick out bad things. She was a good lady."

 

[Baggio]

Reporter to Newcastle's Shola Ameobi: 'Do you have a nickname?'

Ameobi: 'No, not really'

Reporter: 'So what does Bobby Robson call you?'

Ameobi: 'Carl Cort.'

[Guest]

Bobby Robson

 

Reporter - "Bobby, if you beat Arsenal you can go top of the table".

Robson - "IF, is the biggest word in football. IF I had wings, I could fly to the moon."

Reporter - "But would you like to be there though?"

Robson -  "Would I like to be where, on the moon?"

 

Bobby Robson - "Good morning, Bobby."

Bryan Robson - "You're Bobby, I'm Brian."

 

Alan Brazil: "I'm delighted to say we've got Sir Bobby Robson on the

end of the phone, fresh from getting his knighthood at Buckingham Palace.

Bobby, terrific news."

Sir Bobby Robson: "What is?"

Brazil: "You know, getting the old sword on the shoulder from Prince

Charlie."

Sir Bob: Eh? [Long pause] "Oh yeah... well, it was a day I'll never

forget."

 

“Andy O'Brien has an horrendous nose, the poor lad. It is massive, it is black and blue and it is awful.”

 

“Titus looks like Tyson when he strips off in the dressing-room, except he doesn't bite. And he has a great tackle." - On Titus Bramble, we think the ‘tackle’ referred to was his defensive qualities.

 

"We didn't underestimate them. They were a lot better than we thought"

- After England sneaked through against Cameroon in the 1990 World Cup.

 

"Hitler didn't tell us when he was going to send over those doodlebugs, did he?" - On why he was refusing to name his England team before a World Cup qualifer against Sweden in 1989

 

"We're taking 22 players to Italy, sorry, to Spain... where are we, Jim?"

- On whether Paul Gascoigne should have gone to the 1998 World Cup in France.

 

"There will be a game where somebody scores more than Brazil and that might be the game that they lose."

"Steve Hodge has been unfit for two weeks, well, no, for 14 days."

 

"Ray Wilkins' day will come one night."

 

"Tottenham have impressed me: they haven't thrown in the towel even though they have been under the gun."

 

"Look at those olive trees. They're two hundred years old – from before the time of Christ!" - Sir Bobby illustrates how great life is in Barcelona.

 

"If we invite any player up to the Quayside to see the girls and then up to our magnificent stadium, we will be able to persuade any player to sign." – Playing up Newcastle’s Playboy image.

 

"They can't be monks - we don't want them to be monks, we want them to be football players because a monk doesn't play football at this level."

- Justifying Newcastle's Playboy image.

 

"They're two points behind us, so we're neck and neck."

"I'd say he's the best in Europe, if you put me on the fence"

 

"I played cricket for my local village. It was 40 overs per side, and the team that had the most runs won. It was that sort of football."

 

"If we start counting our chickens before they hatch, they won't lay any eggs in the basket."

 

"I would have given my right arm to be a pianist."

 

"What can I say about Peter Shilton? Peter Shilton is Peter Shilton, and he has been Peter Shilton since the year dot."

 

"I'm not going to look beyond the semi-final - but I would love to lead Newcastle out at the final."

 

“Home advantage gives you an advantage

[Guest]

There was also the time where Bobby Robson was waiting at the airport with the England squad and he was getting annoyed as to the whereabouts of Tony Adams...only to be reminded by one of the players he hadn't selected him.

[Nobby]

“I’ve never wanted to leave. I’m here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well.” - Alan Shearer

 

don't see anything wrong with this one

[oldtype]

Ive never wanted to leave. Im here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well. - Alan Shearer

 

don't see anything wrong with this one

Ive never wanted to leave. Im here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well. - Alan Shearer

 

don't see anything wrong with this one

 

aye, although thinking of the disembodied ghost of Shearer wandering the halls of St. James on matchday does frighten me a bit.

[Teasy]

There's nothing wrong with quite a few of the comments posted, a lot of them are either misunderstandings or inuendo's.  A lot of them are incredibly stupid and funny though

[Cajun]

Interesting fact, Mitchell Thomas is my mates cousin! All together now, Woooooooo!!!

 

[Nobody]

There's nothing wrong with quite a few of the comments posted, a lot of them are either misunderstandings or inuendo's.  A lot of them are incredibly stupid and funny though

In-your-end-o!

 

http://iamatvjunkie.typepad.com/i_am_a_tv_junkie_a_blog_f/images/the_todd.jpg

[olliemort]

I TELL YA WHAT ID LOVE IT IF WE BEAT THEM!LOVE IT!!

 

KING KEV TO SIR DICKHEAD ALEX!!

[Guest Mr Nipple]

“Andy O'Brien has an horrendous nose, the poor lad. It is massive, it is black and blue and it is awful.”

This one is indelicate, but funny.  

[Guest Sam]

"Well I can play on the right, in the middle, and sometimes on the left"

 

Beckham when asked if he was a volatile player.

[NSG]

There was also the time where Bobby Robson was waiting at the airport with the England squad and he was getting annoyed as to the whereabouts of Tony Adams...only to be reminded by one of the players he hadn't selected him.

 

[wacko]

Rio in a restaurant: "Do you know who I am?"

The waiter: "Why, have you forgotten?"

 

Besiktas striker Arild Stavrum:

"Tired after practice I had a shower. I put a lot of soap on and after opening my eyes I realised that I was the only naked man among 10 Turks wearing shorts. Then a German entered the shower and I was happy. I doubt that Elton John would be happier than me to see a naked young man."

 

From Keane's "auto"biography:

"Denis Irwin was quiet, intelligent, composed, sensible. I was quiet."

 

Zola's uncharacteristic comments on Dennis Wise:

"Ninety-five per cent of my language problems are the fault of that stupid little midget."

[Guest Gemmill]

There was also the time where Bobby Robson was waiting at the airport with the England squad and he was getting annoyed as to the whereabouts of Tony Adams...only to be reminded by one of the players he hadn't selected him.

 

It was Peter Reid [/pedant]  "Where's Reidy?!"......."He's not in the squad, boss."......"Oh."

[OzzieMandias]

Pages and pages of this stuff here:

 

http://www.footballsite.co.uk/Statistics/Articles/Colemanballs/Colemanballs01.htm

[OzzieMandias]

I can't remember which commentator or pundit said it, but my favourite one was this:

 

"He's like a fish out of water who's been thrown in at the deep end."

[OzzieMandias]

Supermac was good at this stuff too:

 

"Mirandinha will have more shots this afternoon than both sides put together."

[Rebellious]

"There will be a game where somebody scores more than Brazil and that might be the game that they lose."

Bobby Robson

 

 

[Guest Deep456]

"We have had so many injuries, but like I said I will never use them as an excuse."

 

Glenn Roeder.

[Mr Logic]