BlueStar

If Fernado Torres is worth £50m then they want slapped in the face with a cock for even bothering to make contact if they want him for £23m.

Our obese tattooed fan has "NUFC" on his beer belly, their equivilent has "FTM". Says it all.

Tinkered with my team at 6am to bring in DJ Campbell and through my bleary eyes I've accidently spent four points on Varney instead. FML.

Metro this morning has quotes from Keys' wife defending him (using painful footbal analogies) accompanied by this picture of her http://img.metro.co.uk/i/pix/2011/01/27/article-1296166181666-0CEFFA17000005DC-583533_223x335.jpg

Wouldn't bode well for next season though, would it? It would mean we'd had a pretty awful run of form, we'd be one of the favourites for the drop next year and we wouldn't be a particularly attractive prospect for players. I'd rather take our chances, thanks.

Stevenage player punched in FA Cup game over girlfriend A man ran on to a football pitch after an FA Cup game and punched a player who had previously gone out with his girlfriend because he had "not treated her correctly", a court has heard. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-12287143

Keys trying to be one of the lads and saying things like "Would you smash it" reminds me of this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4OMRm2nmcY

My lass had Berbatov as captain, 119 points two players still to play

Better not sell him until I've worn my Ameobi 9 nigerea shirt to at least one match.

HOLY SHIT, SHE WORE A SHORT SKIRT ON HOLIDAY http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1350265/Andy-Gray-Richard-Keys-sexism-storm-Sian-Massey-party-girl.html

Morning,have I missed anything? Villa got Bent, which made me happy because I've been telling them to get bent since May 2009.

Their job is to provide a fair and impartial analysis of the game, including judgement on the calls of officials. If they've already decided that an assistant is unfit and doesn't understand the rules of the game based on something as arbitrary as their sex it calls their professional conduct into question, in the same way as if they've decided a new premier league manager is going to be tapping people up and taking bribes because he's a covetous Jew or a new player is going to be diving all over the shop because he's a cheating arab. If it sounded like just banter then I'd be more inclined to feel sorry for them, there's lots of things you can get away with saying to mates who know you're being tongue in cheek and don't really hold those views that you'd be mortified if they were overheard, but it comes across as a genuine hatred of the idea that someone could be involved in the game just because of who they are.

Does he have a walk in wardrobe with 25 identical white shirts and blue jeans in a row, with one toon shirt at the end? The Simpsons wear more varied outfits than this bloke. Business meeting? White shirt, no tie. Corporate box? White shirt, no tie. Nightclub in Hawaii? White shirt no tie. Casino? White shirt, no tie. Match day at SJP? Toon shirt! Funeral? White shirt, no tie...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-12267185

Assistant Referess

:thdn:Considering theres so much valid criticism that can be leveled at some of the hapless officials game change, it's pretty pathetic to slate one of them just because shes a woman. A male official gave that goal that never was against watford for fucks sake and his cock didn't seem to help him there. Don't the pundits all say they don't understand the offside rule anyway in terms of phases?e.

Surely the problem of needing a deeper squad would be at least partly mitigated by becoming a much more attractive prospect for players and getting a wodge of TV money to spend?

It's not something we need to think about, but then it's not something that people shouldn't be allowed to consider either. No matter what our aims are, survival, mid-table, top half, Europe, what is required is the same - pick up points. Let's just go in to every game trying to get whatever points we can and see where it gets us. It's not like we need to totally change our battleplan to aim for Europe, is it, we don't have to make a choice about what we aim for.

When crouch came on 'You're just a shit andy carroll, shit andy caaaarroll...'

?

I'd much rather stay up as well, it's no good qualifying for europe if we get relegated.

For £18 million it does smack of a bit of a panic signing, for the same price or less they could have got a player who would probably come good and be an excellent long term prospect, but they've shelled out for the safe option of a tried and tested 26-year-old who will score you goals, simply because they can't risk someone not coming out the blocks straight away.

Gonna be strange when he makes his 'ex-mackem' appearance against us next season. "Do... do we boo him?"

What's all this stuff with mackems saying 'after all we did for you'? What about what he did for them? He was much more prolific than anyone expected when he signed, offered them excellent value for money and, when the chips were down and everyone else was hiding he stepped up and carried the team.

They were ready to drive Welbeck back to manchester themselves before this recent run of form, are they not worried it's just a purple patch?