BlueStar

When he feels he wouldn't be safe in the ground, Ashley can lay low and not turn up. A manager can't. Just sayin'...

To be fair, Pardew's always only a male relative with a shotgun license away from that on any given day.

Heyyyy, Alan Pardew Ooh! Ahh! I wanna knoooowwww If you fucked my wife. Gas Par-dew-dew-dew In the oven gas mark two Actually, wait, having second thoughts about that one.

If Pardew turns us down someone will have to come up with the emotion I'd feel. The Germans probably have a word for it.

FYP.

Been suggested in several places that a major factor in sacking Chris was his refusal to take Mike's best mate pedro as assistant. Ie just like with wise giving a mate a job as a favour overrules footballing matters. Which, if true, would limit our choices to those desperate enough for a prem job to not care about having backroom staff imposed on them.

How many teams have had more matches televised than us this season? And will Sky really go "Wow, with a charismatic go-getter like Pardew at the helm, we'd better be there every week!"

try and read what I actually write, not what Dave would insinuate I was trying to get at are you PHYSICALLY SICK AT THE THOUGHT OF PARDEW?! IS YOUR HAIR BEING PULLED OUT BY THE PROSPECT OF SLEAZY ALAN?! After the Souness and Kinnear debacle, Pardew would have to be the managerial equivalent of Foluwashola (not the player) to go any lower. If you're surprised at emotive language being used by football fans, and particularly in this situation, you've spent your football watching career living under a large rock. I can imagine you shouting a the telly when Wayne Rooney says he was sick as a parrot for missing a shot or Holloway was devestated at a last minute equaliser "You're not devestated you're just pretty annoyed! Silly football fans, you're not 'gutted" at being relegated, it's not like someone's actually RIPPED OUT THEIR INSIDES, they're just upset!"" "Wow, he hit that like someone hitting a ball really hard! Not like a rocket of course, they travel at upwards of 17000 miles per hour, wasn't that fast lulz."

I'm getting visions of Martin Jol and Assistant Manager Peter Beardsley giving a press room conference together and journalists sitting in the front row with brollies.

I'm glad (as much as it's possible at this point in time) that basically everyone in football agrees over this. Ashley is a c***. The only problem is those fans agreeing with us then go on to say "I hope Newcastle get relegated now". Least we're not getting the usual, "The fans forced him out" diatribe though. I dunno, I've seen one Rangers fan start the old "Newcastle are doing this because they all think they're a big club, actually they're a small club over achieving in 11th place in the premier league, not a big enough name etc etc"

Fucking hell Mike, surely even YOU can't get this decision wrong. Can you? The recurring joke of last two panels in Viz's Terry Fuckwitt strip are basically like every choice Ashley has made Second last frame: "So Terry, we have two options available for your face transplant, a 24 year old male model or the dribbling dick of a festering tramp. Which is it to be?" Last frame: "Fuck me, Terry, you really are thick as shit."

Sacked due to concerns over poor staff morale (good team spirit and morale being just about the only thing that's been holding this club together at times over the past few years.)

Pardew isn't even a sideways step from Hughton, it's a step down. Would any club have picked him over Hughton if given the straight choice on Sunday?

Ketsbia would be pretty high up if I had to rank the names mentioned so far by order of preference.

Although obviously I'm begging for it to be someone like Jol and not Pardew, the way I feel at the moment, I can't see light at the end of the tunnel no matter who it is. Good manager: Wants to progress with the club, wants transfer funds, doesn't want backroom staff comprised entirely of Ashley's mates, refuses to let Ashley micro-manage the team, too much self respect to stick around being shat on, leaves after 3 months and we end up in the wilderness again. Bad manager: Just happy to have the job, doesn't care about what the fans think, not enough dignity to walk away, plods on for shit result after shit result saying we're about to turn a corner.

He'll be slurring his words by the time he gets here.

Ashley's used to running businesses where he has the final say on absolutely everything, if a subordinate doesn't want another of his employees as his assistant or won't let him micromanage their work, he kicks them out and considers that strong and effective leadership.

I'm not the only one daydreaming about assembling a rifle in the east stand and picking him off then? That an a load of hooligans dragging him half naked into the centre circle...

Jol quitting is great timing for Mike, mans Pardew's odds suddenly shorten and he can lump even more money on.

Pardew doesn't care if fans think he's a cunt any more than Ashley does.

And he scored so many guuuurrrrls

http://www.skysports.com/story/0,19528,11661_6559233,00.html Although it seems a bit like they're basing the article off old quotes.

http://img577.imageshack.us/img577/4976/capturek.jpg

Hope and expect his first game in charge would be 90 minutes of being pelted with coins and bottles of piss.

Just feel like it doesn't matter. At some point they'll get sick of "Oh, by the way, it's my godson's birthday and I'm a bit short, so his present is that he gets to be your assistant manager for a year. let him pick the team now and then, yeah? Oh, and some lad at the golf club's in a bit of trouble and owes some agents a favour, they've got this Namibian wonderkid they can't shift cos he's got white hair and crows feet. It's medical. Anyway, he's your £3m buy this year so you've got 500,000k left. He's starting up front tomorrow, and make sure Smithy gets a full 90 mins and everyone knows he's our pen taker. He's me fantasy captain and I've got Derek in the head to head this week and the loser has to snort Sir Bobby's ashes."