James

That is good news I'd say, although Villa are a bit of an August bogey club.

Apparently clubs can submit lists of teams they don't want to play away at on Boxing Day, and we are on pretty much everyone's list.

Mourinho: "When we have Newcastle as our last game away, we win the league. If we don't, we do not. For once, it would seem that the fixture people are trying to be in our favour" He hasn't actually said this yet, but he will.

Nah. You are right Dave, I'm mistaken, we wont have a title race in our hands. We'll have a title race on our hands.

Nah. You are right Dave, I'm mistaken, we wont have a title race in our hands. We'll have a title race on our hands.

We need to get as many points in the bag before Christmas, potentially being top four by this point looking at the fixtures. Then come some really tough games that you'd expect to lose over January, and in all probability, we'd be looking after then to secure a UEFA cup spot if all goes to plan. However, if Ashley provides the rumoured January bonus, and Allardyce pulls off some Bolton-esque away victories at the top-4 clubs we play in that period, we could have a title race in our hands. Looking at where the club are now, and how the season will develop, we couldn't have had a better set of fixtures.

January is the most difficult month, and August may be a little tricky. However, have a half decent August, and the combination of matches are as such that we are likely to go on a few good runs if we can maintain a high level of confidence. Definitely the best fixture list we have had for a while.

No Lists for fixtures please OR YOU WILL GET BANNED Check out the full list (scroll down beneath European matches): http://www.nufc.co.uk/page/Fixtures/0,,10278,00.html

ITK update ...Bolton away 1st game This can be verified, although I'm not claiming to be ITK. Very difficult opening four games, we have also got a top-four club at home, a local rival away, and a rich team that traditionally beat us in August at home.

One thing I've learnt recently is that less than 50% of people can spell Dave R's name correctly. Alan Oliver and Luke Edwards certainly cant.

actually is's not pal, it's a column where they compile the rumours from other places/papers and put them together in a humourous fashion if you look around the rumour will exist somewhere very different from a joke column The humour starts after the mention of Beye (if you exclude the laughing stock and casual comments that have already caused a stir amongst some, including yourself). There is no mention of Murphy anywhere, he is just part of the joke.

You bunch off fools This is a regular Guardian JOKE column

Steve Harmison is on trial. Apparently he has a cracking left foot. If all goes to plan, he is going to give up playing cricket for England and Durham, and come and play at left back for us.

Wasn't he our back-up-lets-go-£40-million-in-debt-if-we-dont-get-Owen-plan?

If Peter Kenyon said that Shaun Wright-Phillips was going to Newcastle, something similar would be written. The translation is, from my knowledge of French, very definite, and France Football is a reliable site. Updated thread titles are good, they keep people posting in threads. Cetainly now a stronger story thanwhen it was being picked up by Planet Football. Isn't that the same site that said Henry was going to Barcelona after the clubs agreed a £18m fee then in the very same article said the clubs hadn't spoken yet or some bollocks like that? Also find it strange that this article has been up there since yesterday but no other media source seems to have picked it up. Oh, it is isn't it I am stupid.

If Peter Kenyon said that Shaun Wright-Phillips was going to Newcastle, something similar would be written. The translation is, from my knowledge of French, very definite, and France Football is a reliable site. Updated thread titles are good, they keep people posting in threads. Cetainly now a stronger story thanwhen it was being picked up by Planet Football.

That little article is from yesterday. Surely if PSG announced the transfer somebody in the UK press would have picked it up? Oh, and I believe RMC is a sports radio program in France? The British press are blind. I'm assumming the transfer fee is therefore agreed, and we are just waiting to agree personal terms.

Micah Richards...quick.

Want as many people to see this as possible, as it will mean less work on the day.

Probably why I liked it then, as I know almost nothing about music.

Courtesy of latest edition of FourFourTwo, available at all good newsagents, and well worth buying. Arsenal - Air This French synth combo are classy, ephemeral and aesthetically pleasing - though the melodies are often lightweight noodle unnecessarily, and rarely culminate in a satisfying conclusion. Aston Villa - Prince Enjoyed spectacular success in the early 1980's before going downhill steadily. Enjoyed a couple of minor successes since, but most of the time people shake their heads and wonder what happenned to a once-great institution. Blackburn - Radiohead Enjoyed phenomenal success in the mid-90s and looked set for a long period of dominance, but threw it away big-style with a series of amazingly wilful career decisions. Replacing the majestic guitar swirl of The Bends with the piss-in-a-puddle drums of Amnesiac is one thing...but Kenny Dalglish for Ray Harford, Roy Hodgson and Brian Kidd? Bolton Wanderers - The Rolling Stones They may be a set of wizened old fools who have been about for decades, but they can still deliver on the big stage. Charlton - St Etienne Trendy London types who always attempted to do things in style. Sadly, for some reason they never really managed to capture the popular imagination. Chelsea - Coldplay Immensely successful, yet equally unpopular. Nobody you'll ever meet will admit to liking them - perhaps because there is such a ridiculous amount of money thrown at the production, and whats produced is turgid rubbish. Everton - The Beatles A Merseyside outfit whose best days were in the 1960's. They've still got a big reputation and following, but it seems only half their lineup has a pulse. Fulham - The Bangles They work-for-an-E-gyp-tian. Liverpool - David Hasselhoff Both enjoyed glory days in the 1980s when they bossed Europe with some of the finest perms the world have ever seen. Recently emerged from the doldrums to score unexpected hits as varied as Jump In my Car and winning the Champions League. Manchester City - Oasis Yes, it seems far too obvious. But examine the evidence - they're now well past their best, fail dismally in their goal to recreate the heady days of the 1960s, and are prone to occassional bursts of extreme violence. Manchester United - Thelonius Monk The legendary jazz pianist pressed keys which should never have worked together, but did. Fergie meanwhile cobbled together a title-winning side midfield containing the likes of John O'Shea, Darren Fletcher, Michael Carrick and Kieran Richardson. Middlesborough - Snow Patrol Proffessionals who turn up on time and get the job done with minimum fuss. Problem is, nobody remembers anything they do. Newcastle - The Grateful Dead This lot are blessed with an unbelievable number of rabid fans who can see no wrong in their heroes whatsoever. Meanwhile, everyone else who is completely aware of their shortcomings looks on in total bemusement. Portsmouth - Fatboy Slim An ageing chancer who pieces together loads of different bits of old tat to make something which is passable at best. Reading - Velvet Underground Several of Lou Reed's achingly hip tracks basically consist of one droning note which lasts for 847 minutes. Compare and contrast to Steve Coppell holding a press conference. Sheffield United - Razorlight Take Neil Warnock, the most hated man in football, pour him into a pair of white skinny jeans - and voila - you get Johnny Borrell, themost hated man in pop. Tottenham Hotspur - U2 Big on bluster and not half as important as they think they are.[/b] West Ham - Chas 'n' Dave Despite their spurs allegiances, you couldn't get more typical east London action if you strapped Lee Bowyer's head to the axle of his Baby Bentley and went wheel-spinning around Dagenham. Wigan Athletic - Arcade Fire The Canadian hipsters enjoyed much critical success with their initial release. But despite early good notices, in reality their second effort saw them merely treading water, and nobody's talking about them any more. Let;s face facts, their time is already running out.

An interview with former Chelsea, Middlesborough and Charlton striker Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink about staying in the same hotel as Joey Barton. http://icnewcastle.icnetwork.co.uk/newcastleunited/chroniclesport/tm_headline=gym%2Dll-fix-it-for-%2Dpound%2D5%2D5m-barton%26method=full%26objectid=19279065%26siteid=50081-name_page.html

Has anyone seen Ben Haim's wikipedia? I reckon we could be in for a bit of a cultural shock if he signs.

Uri Gellar sat behind me once, that was well creepy.

Would anyone take Rossi? I think he would make a good Owen replacement.