Bad Mongo

10 is dead certain. When I'm on a 9, it's because I believe we'll be in a relegation fight until the last game.

Other clubs spend money. If we don't, we're going down.

It's a fair point that doesn't need pointing out any more than it already has been. While true, there are still a few who think Bassong and Guthrie, our saviours, prove his "system" is a good idea. And who knows, in an ideal world it might have worked. But those people forget that in an ideal world, the Mackems would wash themselves and Middlesbrough wouldn't be a poisonous dump, so we wouldn't necessarily be any better off.

NE5's got a fair point, though: Mike Ashley has done very little good for the club.

I don't agree, if we had the majority of our players fit for the season so far we would be comfortably in mid table. The squad is too small to be kept fit. Players get injured, and previously injured players are forced to come back too soon.

10 points, if we're lucky.

I can see us going without a win for the rest of the season.

But, but, but, you forget that a squad without any creative player is OK. An improvement upon Milner, at least. Or so they say.

Obviously needs new golf clubs that can handle the wetter climate.

He's not considered notable by the evil Wiki overlords until he's made his first team debut.

Sure the squad is a problem, as it lacks some vital qualities. Both pace and technique. And while Owen and Martins can arguably be said to be better than Shearer and Bellamy individually (I strongly disagree, Yorkie!), they don't work nearly as well together as an attacking unit. Bellamy made a slow Shearer a top class striker for several years. That takes pace, and it also takes extreme determination, which neither of our strikers have at this moment. The squad could possibly be mid-table with a good manager, but not much more. It's not significantly better than last season, as there are fewer bodies in it.

We lack someone who can cross, we lack a midfield spine, we lack someone who can shoot from distance (apart from Martins), and we lack a strong and big striker. Without those kinds of players, it doesn't matter that Jonas can take on opposition players, since he's unable to cross the ball, and even if he were, there would be no one to challenge for it. The only time we've looked good was when Martins, Owen and Viduka all were fit at the same time. This will never happen again.

We have players on £60K a week, which is ridiculous, but only a third of that is still ridiculous. How many players in, say, Scotland or France do you think are on £20K a week? Not many. But the average Premier League player is. If the club can afford to pay only an average wage, it should be able to attract players.

Even though fighting for survival, Newcastle is still in a fantastic league, has a massive fan base, pays ridiculous wages and is surrounded with just as much glamour as any club outside the top 4. The club is in no worse position to attract players than Fulham were last winter, and they bought plenty. Many ambitious players in the lesser leagues would jump at the chance of joining the club.

What? The whole stockmarket was overpriced.

And I maintain that no, the squad has not improved, since the personnel isn't as balanced as it was, and since players reaching the end of their careers are getting older. We have replaced players without considering whether they would fit in. Jonas is an impressive player, but he creates nothing (he's got 3 assists, as many as Shola, James Milner has 5). Guthrie is fine if you consider he's young and cost very little, but he's also mediocre and creates nothing, and tends to go missing. Our midfield is worse than it was last year, and so are our strikers, since Viduka is no longer able to contribute anything.

Do you not want to improve at better rate than your rivals? Is it really improved at all? Our defensive record is worse. Midfield is weaker, as Butt and Geremi are getting older and Guthrie isn't nearly as good as Emre. Attack is weaker as there's nothing to take advantage of whatever Jonas gives the team, and he rarely produces assists and never scores himself. The first choice defenders are better, but an injury to just one of them is disastrous as there's no backup.

So basically, the £20M Ashley claimed to be willing to invest in the club each year depends, with the current cost of running the club, on us making a profit on player sales. I can see why they've been pissing about with Owen's contract: we can't afford keeping him. They probably think the same of our other star players (and I agree).

Mike Ashley did everything right until the moment Kevin Keegan walked in. What utter bollocks. Right from the beginning, he's failed to support his managers in the transfer market. According to .com's list, Allardyce had 10 senior players sold or released (some permacrocks), replaced with 9 (one permacrock). Keegan had 6/7 out, 5/6 in (one permacrock on loan, another a youngster no better than the Ameobi he tried to sell). This with a squad already depleted since Roeder took over. He did make the right noises, it's just too bad it was all a bunch of lies.

That's a bit excessive. Kiss and make up, perhaps.

He was probably asked.

A stamp? Surely Nile must have a signet ring.

Oh. He started out as a midfielder. Wikipedia has him as both midfielder and forward. Left back of the year, according to some local newspaper somewhere.

Hes a relation appearntly... According to his uncle, he's most similar to Tore André Flo, of all the Flos. But don't worry, that only means he's better with the ball at his feet than with the defender's face at his elbow. He's rather small for a Flo, at only 182 cm (~6 ft), and plays in midfield. Left footed. Blond.

Mike Ashley has probably spent it all on champagne.