Elric

"Something big"? What, like a reinforced bench in the dugout for his fat fucking arse?

As has already been said, he'll have turned the heads of some now 'bigger' (read: premier league) clubs with his last few performances. Wouldn't be surprised if he was sold at all.

Why

Jimmies rustled. Fat cunt.

Still hoping for that old fucker Whelan and that little shit Callum McManaman to be fired into each other inside the LHC... although that may create some kinda Supercunt only rivalled by Ashley - they'd then fight it out like Godzilla & Mothra through the streets of Geneva, poor bastards. Anyway... tiny face Gartside LOL!

reminds me of that tiny face meme that swept the internet Phol Gortside Edit: Ah. He, uh, died. RIP.

That "you know" business was embarrassing, had to turn it off. Some of the twitter comments

102, with Sanchez ©, Iwobi and Bellerin to play tonight. Not taking into account the -24 points for all the subs I made this gameweek, like

Looks like I'm not alone, but my gambit of hoying in Moreno, Milner, Origi and Lukaku really paid off

0-0

Had Alderweireld and Sigurdsson on the bench for this week Edit: The week we've just had, I mean.

Had a dream the score was 5-2. Couldn't remember which way the result went though, so put a bet on both teams winning by that score, haha *awaits soul-destroying 0-0*

5-0

Shag Minors Brazenly?

Weediest looking professional* athlete** ever. *currently unemployed **nonce

Mido sacked by Zamalek after 37 days as manager... looks like Dev off Corrie, the state man http://ichef.bbci.co.uk/onesport/cps/976-hidpi/cpsprodpb/599B/production/_88193922_mido.jpg

0-3

Red Card! - Doumbia, 87 mins (burying effigies of old gods in 18-yard box)

Looks like he's booked himself into the fucking Dignitas clinic or something http://i68.tinypic.com/8yi49s.png

20 from 6, captain Ozil with a massive 6 point haul. Arsenal man, inconsistent kernts. Looking forward to this wildcard like Edit: Just noticed loads of people had Ozil as captain, don't feel as bad now. Also, glad I benched Vardy, Crack Whore Confessions lookin' motherfucker. Start scoring again you horrible cunt. Mahrez too.