Elric

Nervy 2-2.

Hoy woodman in. Anyone but Darlow

It's the fact he said it at all that's grating. "One team doesn't want to play" = "one team doesn't want to bend over for the most expensively-assembled squad in Premier League history". He can fuck off with that shit.

Late to the party and all that, but couldn't 'Pep' have been fucking gracious in defeat? You got the 3 points, wind your neck in. Privileged cunt.

23 His hairline was blown backwards by a force 23, maybe.

Yikes. He's a good player like, but... wow. I wonder if any of his previous clubs have a sell on fee? They'll be rubbing their hands together if they do

Poor man's Gary McAllister, receding cunt.

Alan Barnes up front. Goes down under a moderately strong challenge, feigning injury. While concerned city players look to the sidelines for medical support he snides one in from 20 yards. £10 goal bonus.

In all seriousness, if there's a team you wouldn't mind resting a few players against it's us. Wouldn't be surprised to see a few of their 'reserves' ()

Triple captained Silva, hope he plays

Expecting nowt less than a brutal, old-school hiding. 4 or 5 nil. Love to be proved wrong.

Binned Hazard a couple of weeks ago, frustrating cunt that he is. Hoying in either of Coutinho or Salah is probably a safe bet like 41 so far, got three from Man City - de Bruyne ©, Sterling and Fernandinho - left.

Mr Teeth has done wonders for my score these last two weeks like

Kinda hope this McBurnie lad scores, poor kid

In the last 2 games my back 5 has scored about 10 points, combined, between them. Fucking arseholes

One of which is us

Good to see Kane draining himself of goals just in time for me triple-captaining during the double game week

What the fuck man If we weren't such a shambles we should have been all over that.

Merry Christmas all

Wasn't sure to captain de Bruyne or Sterling, obviously picked the former. Fuck this game, man

21 from 2 so far (Firminho and Salah), so I'm fully expecting ones and twos apiece from the rest of the fucking squad

Gone well up in my estimation. He's 100% spot on. Fair play to him

So obviously fake, man. Mis-spelled Keyth, for starters.

12 million.