Dr Venkman

My idea of half time entertainment is trying to go for a piss in an east stand bog the size of my front room behind 3000 pensioners with enlarged prostates.

Why do you support NUFC?

Aye but if you’re a fat middle aged miserable man on the internet it’s proper rage inducing. I’m not miserable.

Jeeeeesus he’s fucking steaming.

Has it?

Plenty of people have worried themselves into holding the position that we need to sign new players to stop Isak from leaving, but if we sign too many or one in a certain position, he’s leaving. Must be fucking miserable living your life like that.

Is that a Harrison Ashby sighting in the dressing room when he’s meeting a few players?

I like him.

Ok. I’m normally quite positive about most things. That’s fucking shite

I think it's more to do with his accent when speaking English?

I used the train example for a very specific reason.

Lads I’m not being serious FFS. Speak British

I hate it when I’m on a train and people are talking in those accents! Speak British!

Nah. It’s still feine.

We're trying to get more, as we should. He'll leave.

MOVE ON.

TBF we did win the right to name the airport in a competition. Oh hang on, no, that was their city status.

Aye. That and it's actually, literally called Newcastle International Airport.

The primary leverage we have, of course, is that the player wants to join us. Wouldn’t be surprised if it rumbles on all summer this and we get him late.

Yeah, come on, just get it done. But don’t pay too much. But just get it done, or MOVE ON.