Ritchie

That's not really on Big Ben, is it?

...and we've been screwed over yet again. Nice one.

I hope Carroll and Gerrard have a glassing contest with each other.

Rejected improved £12M bid.

Completed.

An Olly Bernard deadline day special coming up!

We're bound to get Owen on loan now.

Would be funny if he handed in a transfer request.

Quick, bid for Solano!!!111

He's turned it down.

This is mental.

Charles N'Zogbia?!

They've got a picture of Welbeck instead of Sturridge.

What the fuck are they doing there? If any of you are reading this on your phone from the scene - kill yourself. One of them did a thumbs up and then picked his nose, ffs!

This. You can't force someone to fuck off somewhere else.

Sturridge joins Bolton on loan. Elmander apparently staying.

Would anyone seriously want him to resign (not that he has any reason to)? I sure as hell wouldn't. Stop talking sense man FFS Sorry, I didn't mean I want him to resign. That would be disastrous.

Pardew doesn't have the bollocks to resign.

We won't get a replacement in now.

Bollocks! If he is worth £35m now he will be worth £50m come the summer! Get your head checked, mate. Nobody would've offered that amount for him and we're lucky to be getting £35M plus add-ons.

Who's going to be the first to burn their Andy Carroll shirt?

HESKEY?! WHAT THE FUCK?! FUCK OFFFF!!

Joey Barton's crosses made Carroll.

Steve Howard.

Hope we spend the money on some quality players (wishful thinking).