Ronaldo

Same answer for him, really. We're in the PL now. Would've been a good signing if we hadn't just gone up.

You're aware we've just been promoted, right? Adam a chance ffs.

I'm sure I've read this exact sentence a billion times, like.

Good thing he didn't join Brighton then. Exactly, what a strange post.

He's perfect for the system, like. His performance against Huddersfield a couple of months back would've given Rafa an erection.

Do we have any young keepers? Woodman and who else?

Half dead = much better than Elliot, Sels and Darlow.

I think Geordie's slightly preferable to sounding like you go playground-to-playground in a blacked-out Range Rover at 1AM, mind.

They do. Audley Harrison used to talk like that before they warned him to stop it for Strictly Come Dancing. It's pretty tragic, like. Talk properly, man.

You haven't lived until you've experienced the Google Earth magnificence of Ipswich Town's Portman Road. Especially the view from Portman Road, complete with tramp fast asleep.

You might want to reacquaint yourself with his first 12 months as an NUFC player if you don't think he was very good when he first signed. His attacking play was a massive factor in us staying up in 12-13 then seeing us top 5 or 6 at the end of that calendar year. Admittedly his form tailed off after that.

He's shown he can be effective without having brilliant technique, though. He was largely very good for us. Especially when he first signed.

There's still a place for him in any pretty much any side primarily playing counterattacking football.

Exactly. As usual you can't say anything vaguely positive about the lad without inferring he's something he's clearly not.

We were what, 2 points away from staying up? We were obviously better with than without him as the result markedly show when he returned for the final 6 games. He's not saying he would've done it all by himself, obviously.

I really don't, I want him replaced ideally, just not with shit defenders who'll take us back to the days when our full backs regularly played like they had money on the opposition to win by three goal margins.

I've seen him play. If he's a better defender than Dummett I've got a Chinese restaurant to sell you.

They beat Wolves away at the end of April. Yep, they then proceed to draw three and lose two of their last 5 fixtures, "drawing" all three playoff games, that's 8 games by my maths. Your maths are s*** then. They played 2 league games after their win over Wolves, then obviously the 3 playoff fixtures. That's 5. I was about to call you out for being your typical arsehole self but you are right actually, the beeb site where I got that information from was including the playoff games. My apologies, still pretty woeful form of two wins in ten. http://www.bbc.com/sport/football/tables

They beat Wolves away at the end of April. Yep, they then proceed to draw three and lose two of their last 5 fixtures, "drawing" all three playoff games, that's 8 games by my maths. Your maths are shit then. They played 2 league games after their win over Wolves, then obviously the 3 playoff fixtures. That's 5.

Probably because that would be a stupid idea.

They beat Wolves away at the end of April.

In terms of the players they actually own it's the poorest side ever to be promoted to the PL. Really awful in terms of quality actually. It's a fucking disgraceful squad.

Dave Beasant has become the Reading manager for the next 10 minutes.

No thanks. You know fine well Fulham would take at least 4 points off us even if we spent £200m.