Ronaldo

No, it's most certainly not.

That'd be a massive wrong-fit. Colo and Kaboul share some of the same weaknesses. Williamson and Colo as a partnership are OK. Not great, but OK. No point in breaking them up for a 7/10 defender like Kaboul.

Comparing Alan Smith and Xisco is like comparing Cameron Jerome and Messi.

When has he done that before?

4 years ago i'd have loved us to sign him. Now i'd rather we played Neil Taylor, who i've seen twice.

Give it to Leon.

Bollocks. What a stupid thing to say. Of course it is, his record spunks all over Gyan's but if we were to sign him for £13 million people would be over the moon. Give over. Seriously... You're the only one talking crap, mate.

A lot comes down to who peforms in pre-season of course. I'd like to think Super Leon will have another good one, and it'll be him, Ba and Ben Arfa anihilating Arsenal on the first day.

Don't like it? Tough, I had my fun and that's all that matters. *cleans ear with finger* You ever say that to me again, and i'll put your head through the wall.

Yeah, that's the reason.

It randomly came on a couple of summers back at the water park next to PortAventura in Salou. Made the entire holiday.

Easily the greatest Ted character, behind the man himself and Father Jack.

Krul Simpson Williamson Coloccini Enrique Cabaye Tiote Jonas Ben Arfa Ba Marveaux

KO.

Careful. I'm just secure enough within myself to recognise another one of the genetic lottery's high rollers when I see one.

Thanks for that. Didn't we establish 2 years ago that he was nicknamed The Buffalo, not Bull?

"Andy Gray & Richard Keys Laughing At Women's Football" Every single goal, man. Both keepers.

It's nuts, isn't it? Every single goal looks like a match fix.

I'm sure he had that with him too, like. He has a name for it.

Oliver Holt is one of the worst journalists out there. Go to twitter to see his biased/clueless tripe about Hamilton, Button, Federer and Haye.

Vuckic. Ferguson also looks like he could be a player.

Same here. Even on appearance alone, taking all actual ability and putting it to one side: Pardew is a decent-looking, well groomed silver fox who wears a full suit on matchdays. Bruce looks like a 60-year old lesbian who's had a frying pan to the nose wearing a shell suit two sizes too small. I reckon Brucey's got the biggest kite in the public eye, like. It's growing at a rate even exceeding Ian Beale's. I think I deserve an assist for that one, like. In all seriousness though, there's a lot of truth to what's being alluded to here. Pardew's an impressive looking, smooth talking fella. It helps when it comes to dealing with suave Frenchmen unaccustomed to physically repugnant monstrosities like Bruce.

Yes, that too, Ethi.