Ronaldo

Saving this for May. Have it in a word document and everything. How would us getting promoted change the fact we were dumped out the cup in even more miserable fashion than any of Pardew's attempts? The league is obviously more important but Jesus, this is pretty fucking shocking, like. Easily the worst result of the season. Goes without saying its mightily embarrassing, but it will all be forgotten if we win the league. The cup was never going to be a priority this season. I'll leave the meltdown until we drop to 3rd. If the league's such a big a priority why is January 28th and we still haven't signed anyone to consolidate a promotion push?

Don't be dramatic, lads. Everything's fucking awesome.

Great. The race to 2nd in the Championship ahead of Reading. Amazing stuff. We're 2 points off Brighton you dramatic little snowflake. Wow, it's not at all like you to ignore the fact we're pissing about when we should be showing a bit of ambition.

Great. The race to 2nd in the Championship ahead of Reading. Amazing stuff.

To be fair, it's more that the players picked are all shit with one or two exceptions.

Did a bloke without vocal cords just announce the scorer?

Was it CRISP? Brilliant.

He's better than Hanley but in all honesty he shouldn't be our starting CB/captain next year.

Mostly down to him being shit, mind.

A little bit when he first went to Bolton.

This is my fear. And you just know he'd be awesome there, and we'll all be pissed off about it. Sam has a history of this with both Abdoulaye Faye and Cheick Kouyate. You do realise this daft post implies Sam Allardyce is far more astute than Rafa Benitez?

The drummer is fine.

Yeah there's not a lot wrong with that.

Mbemba will probably be gone by end of summer anyway, imo.

Definitely too much emphasis on what goes on in the gym, like.

Just don't like him much any more, and we will get promoted anyway. If we're getting promoted anyway surely it would make sense to buy a couple of players of Premier League quality now, then.

Can't believe people are indifferent, like. We fucking start Gouffran. Sammy Ameobi actually came on for us the other day.

27th of January. Jokers.

Ha.

27 years and this idiot names 2 players. One lasted 2 seasons with SAF, and the other was seldom a starter with everyone available.

Probably not the version suggesting that SAF, who rarely favoured a DM anyway, wanted to sign Cheick fucking Tiote.

Nobody compared them. They were brought up to demonstrate the shit journalists come out with to fill a bit of space. Fact is, the only players who stay at NUFC long term under Mike Ashley are the ones that fail.

I wonder how a player with 11 years more experience and playing regularly in this division for most of his career, could be better than Mitro like. It's amazing how we're only to judge Mitro on the league he's used to (Belgian?), it seems no division is easy for him. He's forever 'bedding in.' We could get relegated to League Two and there will be Mitro fans saying "ah but he's new to this division, he's young, give him time!" I say that partly in jest, but I also worry that Mitro hasn't impressed Rafa as much as he probably should have. To be fair, Mitrovic was good V QPR and PNE when he started and scared the life out of Norwich when he came on and we were chasing. One of the few occasions we've played a genuine 4-4-2 under Rafa. We looked pretty fucking great with it, too.

Steven Taylor, Barcelona.

You mean like we did with an injured Rob Elliot a few months back? Aye, I can barely begin to imagine the genuine interest there.