Ronaldo

i've never wanted a player to get a serious injury more in my life, he's the playing equivalent of the pardew years where there's just no light at the end of the tunnel I don't like him either but that's OTT, man.

The Championship is a ridiculously long way from the PL, man. As long as you've got a few 'men' in the side and a modicum of talent in key areas it's an easy league to get through. If we can regularly put out a defence of Gamez - Lascelles - Mbemba - Dummett we'll concede fewer goals than even last time we were there.

My uncle got arrested for that.

As much as I'd like to blame Pardew for his shitness, it was Tiote himself who declared he modeled his game on that of Michael Essien when he arrived.

Yep. He tortured Enrique in the 1-1 at SJP.

Barton was only ever effective for us at RW. Routledge was better.

I know what you're saying (minus the daft 'useless piece of shit' comment), but Solano was completely surrounded by players with either pace, power or both. You need a balance.

Just goes to show how having a spastic in charge of making decisions can have a big impact on player values. Why do you think Ashley finally threw in the towel and put a genuine football man in charge? I'm happy as fuck me, now I really couldn't give a toss what knackers like shola in a flat cap think, I trust the man in charge to guide the ship right. I mean, aye. Not sure what any of this has to do with Sissoko's first touch like It's TRon. He types what's floating around in his head and then picks a quote to put above it at random. Just be thankful you were both on about the same player.

Knows his stuff Brown, to be fair. Namely that Gouffran cost us a fortune.

Rafa knows the score.

Who's the North Eastern co-commentator? John Carver's brother? Always have to turn him off, he's an absolute cringe-fest. Who is it? Ray Hudson - he's from Whickham originally I think but ended up going to USA to play and has stayed there as a commentator/pundit. Tries to be a bit like Sid Waddell. He doesn't try. He's just exactly like that away from the cameras/microphone. Mad as a box of frogs.

All of Tiote's best games for us have come against top sides. When we played him against Norwich - which was arguably the game that relegated us - he cost us the points by giving away a stupid free kick and the ball for another goal. In the Championship he'll literally just help the opposition get chances while not contributing to our forward play. He really needs to be sold to a daft Chinese outfit this summer because he's absolutely useless to our progression as a club.

Tiote and Shelvey in CM? No thanks. Think I'd go with Shelvey and de Jong. I think Gayle has to be in the team somewhere too. Perhaps as one of a forward 3.

Wouldn't go that far. He's the best they could get. As Rafa is with us.

Hell of an appointment for them.

Bramble's a great example. Every physical and technical attribute you'd want in a CB but was deficient mentally and it ruined his career.

He never had the brain to get to that level. What you have between the ears means everything as a CB. Astonishingly his judgment seemed to get worse with experience.

Dyer was a CM. A very good one too.

Brilliant.

Shearer and Bellamy were the best partnership here since Pedro and Cole. Course by the time Kluivert signed Shearer's star had faded while Kluivert still had bags of class and was a a lot less selfish as a striker. Him and Bellamy looked awesome together.

Comparing Owen to Demba Ba, man. Well they are comparable because Owen had just less than a 1 in 2 record and went through a couple of brilliant spates of form. As Ba did. They both wanted to leave the moment they got here, too, so they have that in common. Ba is the answer to the question but Owen is definitely second, the rotten cuntbag. 26 in 71 isn't 1 in 2, York.

Comparing Owen to Demba Ba, man.

Find it difficult to have too much sympathy for a player who left us in a relegation struggle to go and sit on Chelsea's bench, like. Hell of a player, obviously. You could put Ba in a Conference side up against Barcelona and he'd find a way to get on the scoresheet. He should've had a better career in truth.

Neither of them should be on a shortlist of 100 candidates.

Redknapp's as bent as a Samurai sword, gets teams relegated and is even older than Hodgson. Get lost, man.