Ronaldo

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He must be 75 now, like. Can't be too long.

Nah, it never is. He disrupts things by being a disruptive influence and stuff. Keep toeing that line, whore.

Man, it only gets worse for him from here and the games slowly start to run out. Chin up.

It will. I think a lot of the nonsense we've witnessed today stems from the fact that 'it's early in the season' is such an easy straw for the mongs to cling to.

Amazing how Steve Bruce has managed to add so much fat to his middle.

He looks extremely physically weak by PL standards, like. Too early to case serious judgment, though.

Go and bombard Pardew with abuse before the game, Ian.

yes, I will never give a battered wife props for sticking by her abusive husband through thick and thin. Yes, but would you go on an domestic abuse internet forum and accuse battered wives of being spineless cunts? Hate to say it but this is an excellent point. Better to ring them up and say it.

Balotelli replacing Suarez is almost as bad as Riviere replacing Remy.

Why do they make people this stupid?

What sort of weakling become a steward anyway. Forget it.

Steady on.

The sheep will start to flock when we're in the relegation zone in a month, man. Shame it has to come to that, like.

Indeed. Not like the cup run in 2013 became a brilliant get-out clause effectively deflecting criticism or owt.

It never is, though. He's just the captain and senior CB. Not his fault we concede goals.

I'm tempted.

Lolerpool.

Him and Riviere must be paid up members of sackpardew.com, like.

Fair play, Agent Manu.

Thank fuck that ended when it did. Still bottom, still in big trouble.