Ronaldo

When I try to imagine Bimpy around the house and his interactions with his lovely wife I always come up with Onslow from Keeping Up Appearances.

No, being as good as married to something like this is heartbreaking. http://gifsforum.com/images/gif/funny%20gifs/grand/fsd54.gif

Steady on.

Flick ons from whom? As stupid as Pardew is, signing Bent would surely help us move away from that type of rubbish.

Another game? Ew.

Agree 100%. No real manager will come near this lot.

Mbiwa represents potential for profit. Frankly he wasn't really the CB we 'needed' at all.

We dont actually need strikers at the moment then? We didnt need a right back when we signed Debuchy? Or Santon either after Enrique left?.. Should I go on? Value is obviously quite a big factor, to much so, but its far from the only factor behind who we sign. Santon wasn't up to replacing Enrique when we first signed him and 2 years later still isn't as good as him, so he isn't a great example. We need replacements for Jonas and Shola and competition for Cisse as a matter or urgency, yet here we are trying to grind out deals for players with vulnerable contracts.

Squad. You call having Shola Ameobi as your 2nd choice striker a f****** squad! Exactly. We target whoever we can get for less than they're worth. I hate it. It's no way to build any sort of effective footballing unit. The players we recruit are quality for decent prices. The quantity and structure of our recruitment is woefully inept. They're rarely what we actually 'need'. Isn't that down to the manager? I assume he gives the recruitment team some sort of brief on what sort of players he wants. If he doesn't he's only got himself to blame. Like he gets a say at all, man.

Squad. You call having Shola Ameobi as your 2nd choice striker a f****** squad! Exactly. We target whoever we can get for less than they're worth. I hate it. It's no way to build any sort of effective footballing unit. The players we recruit are quality for decent prices. The quantity and structure of our recruitment is woefully inept. They're rarely what we actually 'need'.

Squad. You call having Shola Ameobi as your 2nd choice striker a f****** squad! Exactly. We target whoever we can get for less than they're worth. I hate it. It's no way to build any sort of effective footballing unit.

Really do despise our recruitment policy, like.

That useless excuse for a backup keeper too, no doubt.

400 games for the biggest club in the world is nowt to be sniffed at, to be fair.

The mooted Hatem - Cisse - Gouffran front 3 just isn't creative enough. Especially not with an uncreative midfield behind it. We need 2 forwards to push Jonas, Shola and even Gouffran - who i do like very much as an occasional starter - down the pecking order.

Nothing, tbh. Nowt wrong with concentrating on NUFC, anyway. I didn't really mean it as an insult.

If I've seen a player and think he's decent I'll say it, even if it's a fairly undistinguished cunt like Bardsley. If I've not seen enough of him to give an informed opinion I'll say that, too.

He looks decent in midfield when he has plenty of time on the ball (namely against continental sides) but put him under any pressure and he'll misplace too many passes. Lovely guy and all that but how anyone can piss and moan about us not creating enough then advocate him starting (with or without everyone fit) seems like a bit of a double standard to me. Honestly, what happened to just wanting midfielders that could win the odd the ball, play it and then move up the pitch to support the attack? At times I fucking hate what Makelele and Mourinho started. Teams like us can't afford just another man in there to 'keep it simple'. Our current 'attacking' players aren't good enough for it all to rest on their shoulders.

I don't think you could've provided a better example of what I said earlier than this.

Powerful stuff. Let that be a lesson to you all.

Kinnear's 'never felt fitter'? What a deluded old bastard.

Too easy. Good luck at your next club where they might expect you to be able to play football.